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I was going to take off this morning but after reading and DUFUing PItt's FICTIONAL account, I think I might stick around.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 12/30/2005 5:24:54 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix
I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

"That means, probably," that someone simply used an Internet search engine and found places where, in your endless blatherings about yourself, you happened to mention the name(s) of "your" bar(s).

But your delusional scenario, Will, is hilarious! You, Will Pitt, as Jesus, with your disciples leaning upon your breast, reclining at table. And "this DUer" as the Judas who then went out and betrayed you.

109 posted on 12/30/2005 11:47:39 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (WWWD?)
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To: PJ-Comix
Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar. . . .

Oh, right, I know the one: "Stand Up Next to a Bouncer."

111 posted on 12/30/2005 11:50:26 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The Pitt and the Ponderous.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I took him into the bosom of my hospitality. . . .

PLEASE, NOBODY post that photo of Pitt taking a guy-DUmmie into the bosom of his hospitality!

112 posted on 12/30/2005 11:53:16 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Will was in his cups.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Maybe if the DUmmies didn't have such a horrible track record of lying about converting Republicans to Democrats during the election, we wouldn't think they are all full of crap.


113 posted on 12/30/2005 11:58:08 AM PST by Democratshavenobrains
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To: PJ-Comix
This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay.

After YOU, PITT, laid down a $10,000 challenge for people to check up on the substance of your story! You even wanted people to ask Ty AT WORK!

This new change-of-tune ranks up there with your flip-flop on Andy's illness--well, with ALL your many recantations! So you know what THAT means, don't you? It's time to play . . .

SELF-RECANTED EVENING
Tune: "Some Enchanted Evening"

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!

115 posted on 12/30/2005 12:09:32 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: PJ-Comix; stands2reason; Charles Henrickson
In the shadow of staggering assholes

Good gravy, why does Pitt continue to bother us with the details of his sex life? (And BTW, why is the Midnight Cowboy barfly throwing the word "staggering" around? I'm sure he staggers home most nights, and has the political opinions he does as a result of alcohol-induced brain damage.

FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous.

ROTFLMBO!! Oh man, he still has no freakin' idea who you are, or is desperate to keep the DUmmies from finding out, while still using you as a whipping boy. A guy who drinks as much as him should never try such a balancing act.

Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:

Oh, you mean that bouncer who you portrayed as a drooling, worshipful moron? Oh, sorry, make that the HUGE bouncer you portrayed as a drooling, worshipful moron?

Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true.

Well, there are some things that not even DUers are dumb enough to believe.

That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true.

My advice to anyone who takes this challenge: Expect to be paid in Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.

Sure, plenty of DUmmies have 10 grand sitting around that they can risk on some stupid internet bet. And a nice honest Friend of Andy would never, ever run a con on them, right, Pitt? You've probably already got the money spent in your head on new Midnight Cowboy outfits and bulk purchases of KY and Smirnoff.

Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

Wait a minute, Pitt has a bosom? I thought he was flamingly gay, not a transexual. Actually, here I am not sure if I should be wondering "Could Pitt be any dumber" or "Could Pitt think the DU crowd is any dumber?" Decisions, decisions...

This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay.

"I put up ten grand as an incentive for somebody to do something, and they actually did it! How dare they!" Now we know why Pitt is a liberal, he has a "two plus two equals negative twenty-six" level understanding of economics.

Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate.

Yeah, I can just hear PJ now..."Listen, punk, you're gonna stay on this phone while I read you this novel, and you're gonna like it! I pity the fool who don't help me win Pitt's money!"

Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to f*ck with this guy at work.

A flaming homosexual who enjoys Midnight Cowboy-wear is talking about "F@#$ing with a guy at work." Wow. That is just to darn easy.

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

No, I don't swing that way. Oh wait, you weren't talking about gay hookups? Well, yeah, I've had random strangers call me at work. I sure wouldn't be afraid of it, especially if I were a hulking bouncer in a city thousands of miles away from the caller. Are you saying Ty is a wuss, Pitt?

Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only.

A blogger busting a fellow blogger for lying is not making a "personal call," especially when the call will alert the victim of the lying to slander ditrected at his person by a known Communist enemy of the United States.

So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.

Ty's "your boy?" Wow, I'm sure he feels honored beyond his wildest dreams.

Why?

Beecause the way you become an ace is by never passing up a chance at an easy target.

Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years,

Truth-telling? Yeah, sure, and the Dems will win a 70% majority in Congress next year because BouncyBall has converted milions of conservatives in to looney leftists by jumping out of the bushes and throwing lib platitudes at them. As for the rest...yeah Pitt, you're a real one-man Woodward & Bernstein.

this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.

Yeah, I can hear that mean ol' PJ now: "You WILL say Pitt lied, maggot! Or I will come through the phone and rip out your eyeballs! FEAR ME, YOU PUKE!!!"

In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back,

Is that what you sodomites are calling that these days? Huh.

tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.

I can see the headline now: "William Rivers Pitt exposed as liar. Millions ask, 'Who the #$%^ is William Rivers Pitt?'" Yeah, that's a real path to fame and glory there.

Too bad for him, though, that the story was true.

"Ty is indeed a mouth-breathing idiot of Cletus the slack-jawed yokel proportion. He is so dumb, he believed me when I told him about the magic tape recorder that lives in my cowboy hat."

Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty.

Funny how much that account differs from PJ's...

Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

You forgot the part where he said that the calls upset his wife Brandeen, you arrogant bag of crap.

I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to f*ck with my friend.

I'm sure that you have also had many failed attempts to #$%^ with Ty. "Hey big fella, come on back to my place and I'll show you my invisible sign that says, 'Gvie Will Pitt some monkey-lovin'!"

After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.

Wait, are we talking about PJ, or about your failed attempts to convert Ty to The Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name? I lost track.

But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"

ROTFLMBO!! C'mon, you didn't really do that, did you PJ?

I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.

"I was able to do this because I am an expert in self-gratification."

Morals:

...are woefully absent on DU in general and in Pitt's case in particular. Do go on.

I don't lie in my essays;

Well, I and my girlfriend Morgan Fairchild agree wholeheartedly with you. Now, come on down and buy an Isuzu; the 2006 models get 352 miles per gallon.

If you have questions, I am not hard to find;

Translation: "So, if I lie about somebody on the Internet, especially a person I make look stupid, and especially a person who could pound me into jelly, make sure you talk to me, and I'll confirm the quotes for you. You can trust me! And for cryin' out loud, if I offer you $10,000 to do something, that doesn't mean I want you to do it!"

Don't f*ck with my friends;

"That's my job. You know, the invisinble sign thing. You can have the women, though."

Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous.

[Comment about the type of back-related action Pitt prefers have been censored by the mods.]

Put the work in;

[More censoring required.]

Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

Pitt has gone from "Ty is too stupid to understand the news without my help" to "Ty is a hyper-irritable caveman who goes to hatred and violence the moment a conservative inconveniences him with facts." Well, if I didn't know the original essay was a pants-igniting lie, I would figure this change meant that Pitt really did convert Ty to liberalism.

[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]

Yeah, Pitt still wants us to believe this Ty guy is the dumbest human on Earth: "Pitt put $10,000 on table, but it not Pitt's fault me have to talk to bad man. It bad man's fault. Me like Pitt, but Pitt needs to get his hand off Ty's butt now. Pitt making me feel all weird inside."

Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.

Must...not...make...obvious...cruising...joke....

In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.

Some little piggies might figure that when you put up a $10,000 dollar bounty, that means it's OK for them to do the work to get it. "Here's the challenge, take it. ...What? HOW DARE YOU TAKE THIS CHALLENGE?????"

Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating.

Aw, poor baby.

I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I dared people to expose me and they made a couple of phone calls! It's like being a Jew in Nazi Germany! I'm so persecuted! WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Hey, next time try telling the truth, try to not portray large conservatives as cavemen who get the gift of fire from the Almighty Pitt, and maybe try not discussing folks on the net without their permission in the first place, much less doing it and THEN DARING PEOPLE TO FIND THE GUY!" Oh, and one last piece of advice: make sure your health insurance is paid up. Unless Ty is even dumber than you've portrayed and he can't figure out how to use the Internet, he is going to figure this out and you are going to need an emergency room visit.

Hey, wait a minute...Pitt portrays himself as Prometheus, and he delivers fire to the caveman Ty...and now we're talking about eating livers. Hey Pitt, you should have read all the way through the story, you end up chained to a rock with an eagle eating your liver every day. Yum!

116 posted on 12/30/2005 12:13:59 PM PST by Mr. Silverback (Rhythm and system and world control, magnetic, genetic, to match your soul.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Demanded and demanded and demanded. . . .

Deluded and deluded and deluded.

117 posted on 12/30/2005 12:15:04 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Delusional DUmmie.)
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To: PJ-Comix
This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay.

Will, not only had YOU YOURSELF droned on and on and on with Ty AT WORK, you then INVITED people to talk to Ty AT WORK to check up on the veracity of your story. What's more, in your original "essay," you said that Ty doesn't even HAVE any work to DO, AT WORK: "My bar, one gets the sense, is too peaceful for his tastes; he has never been forced to exercise his talents while working at my joint."

128 posted on 12/30/2005 12:27:50 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Self-Recanted Evening.)
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To: PJ-Comix; franksolich
So my boy winds up. . . .

My, my, my, my, my. . . .

130 posted on 12/30/2005 12:31:46 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (My tagline.)
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To: PJ-Comix
But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling. . . .

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OH, STOP IT, PITT, YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOO!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

133 posted on 12/30/2005 12:36:45 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (PITT, STOP!!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me.

. . . . . .WILL PITT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BEN BURCH

OVERBACK MOUNTIN'
EXPOSING WEE WILLIE

150 posted on 12/30/2005 1:20:36 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Homo on the Range.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

I can just picture "Ty" reading this off the card Pitt wrote out for him. Of course, that fresh, crisp $20 bill in Ty's pocket didn't hurt.

I'm not kidding, I picture the Wee Willie One, standing next to the huge, slow Ty ("Stand Up Next to a Bouncer"), as being played by Burgess Meredith and Lon Chaney Jr. as George and Lennie in "Of Mice and Men":

"Duuh, every word that Will told me was the truth!"

154 posted on 12/30/2005 1:47:15 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("Duuh, gee Will, tell me about the rabbits!")
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To: PJ-Comix
Now here's the funny part.

Oh, Will, don't be modest! With you, they're ALL funny parts!

155 posted on 12/30/2005 1:51:15 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (The FUnnie Pitt.)
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To: PJ-Comix

LOL, PJ, you have quite a lot to chose from for tomorrows thread. They are going insane over there.


156 posted on 12/30/2005 1:52:41 PM PST by mware (everyone that doesn't like what America and President Bush has done for Iraq can all go to HELL.")
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To: PJ-Comix
Don't f*ck with my friends. . . .

We don't need to, Will. You do a good enough job of that on your own.

Case in point: 1) As Chief Shill for UndieCo, you beg for money all over the Internet, stating Andy's case in the most drastic, dramatic, yet unverified terms; 2) After many others question the veracity of your appeals, you yourself finally call Andy's claims into question ("The Day the Dam Burst," as I call it); 3) Then, after being beat up a bit by the Undielings, you recant and revert to going back to Team Andy.

158 posted on 12/30/2005 2:16:01 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Some friend.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Not related to the DUFUs, but if you want to know what kind of a loony Will Pitt is, check out this CU thread.
183 posted on 12/30/2005 6:31:41 PM PST by darkangel82
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To: PJ-Comix
What planet are they on?? He issued a challenge with a cash prize and then says anyone taking it up wants to "to do damage" to him??

lalala land

197 posted on 12/31/2005 1:30:36 AM PST by GeronL (http://flogerloon.blogspot.com)
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To: PJ-Comix

Don't forget the blustering of the staggering asshole himself, Will Pitt.
His anecdote was called into question before long, and Pitt descends into this: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=5705768&mesg_id=5709832
I've checked into it somewhat, but the rest is out there waiting for the world-famous William Rivers Pitt to put-up or shut-up.
As I remember it, one of former Pres. Clinton's forays into foreign policy was the bungled affair in Haiti. In 1994. Some asshat, Raoul Cedras finagled a million or so dollars from American taxpayers on threat of invasion by the Clinton/Les Aspin Dept. of Defense. Clinton/Aspin ponied up, and there was no invasion.
Will Pitt maintains that "Ty" was wounded in action in the liberation of Haiti, in Sept., 1994. Under President Clinton.
As I recall it, some American warships stood off-shore, Clinton's media blustered, and when all was said and done, Clinton retreated from exercising any control what-so-ever.
As casualties are a matter of public record, such records should exist of the illusory "Ty", wounded in battle, storming the beaches of Haiti in 1994.
If I'm ill-informed on the subject, I'd be willing to read some links. But Will Pitt's story stinks.
The public records on the web regarding that specific operation aren't easy to find, unless some fellow FReepers can supply some context/guidance.
The odds are increasing that Pitt is going to have to put-up AND pay-up.
It'd be sweet if PJ can confront the alleged journalist with confirmations and corrections and collections...


202 posted on 12/31/2005 11:31:08 PM PST by BloodScarletMinnesota (MPLS STAR-TRIBUNE:America's Most Ridiculed Newspaper)
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To: PJ-Comix

$10,000.
Unless Pitt has some un-used slush-fund, he'll Never Pay.
Pitt's a "liberal".
'Liberals' Never Pay Their Own Way...\
Pitt is an arch-type of pampered pussy "liberals".
When caught lying, Pitt can't pay. He's a pathetic drunk. Go ahead, challenge him, he'll just say 'he doesn't remember', or somesuch.
" I was fighting Fascism"!, argues Pitt, even as he cheered-on a ghoulish grave-side and gleeful celebration of Mother Sheehan's 'Coming Out'...
Every Moonbat who's Batty counts, and they came out in force...


203 posted on 01/01/2006 12:57:43 AM PST by BloodScarletMinnesota (MPLS STAR-TRIBUNE:America's Most Ridiculed Newspaper)
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To: PJ-Comix
I thought Pitt was supposed to be appearing on a Milk Carton in the near future. I guess he is not as valuable a target as he thought, of course 1/4 of Americans are retarded and will believe anything.

Thanks to South Park for that wonderful observation.
215 posted on 10/12/2006 6:53:30 PM PDT by Dmitry Vukicevich (Serbia was attacked to appease Moose slammers, Thanks Bill)
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