[Dead Corpse]

I'd make a sucky Poppins. First one of those chimney sweeps come swooshing down the flue unannounced would get ventilated by a burst of 10mm.

That, and considering how much weight I've put on, it'd take one hell of an umbrella to get my fat arse off the ground.

[NicknamedBob]

"... it'd take one hell of an umbrella ..."

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I'm inclined to worry more about "splashdown," myself.