Potential Republican Crack-Up

[NicknamedBob]

You might want to double check Outlandish! things here.

Origins:   Many

of the entries above are just simple household tips involving Coca-Cola, as provided by Joey Green in his 1995 book Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose and on his web site. That you can cook and clean with Coke is relatively meaningless from a safety standpoint — you can use a wide array of common household substances (including water) for the same purposes; that fact alone doesn't necessarily make them dangerous to ingest. Nearly all carbonated soft drinks contain carbonic acid, which is moderately useful for tasks such as removing stains and dissolving rust deposits (although plain soda water is much better for some of these purposes than Coca-Cola or other soft drinks, as it doesn't leave a sticky sugar residue behind). Carbonic acid is relatively weak, however, and people have been drinking carbonated water for many years with no detrimental effects.

The rest of the claims offered here are specious. Coca-Cola does contain small amounts of citric acid and phosphoric acid; however, all the insinuations about the dangers these acids might pose to people who drink Coca-Cola ignore a simple concept familiar to any first-year chemistry student: concentration. Coca-Cola contains less citric acid than orange juice does, and the concentration of phosphoric acid in Coke is far too small (a mere 11 to 13 grams per gallon of syrup, or about 0.20 to 0.30 per cent of the total formula) to dissolve a steak, a tooth, or a nail overnight. (Much of the item will dissolve eventually, but after a day or two you'll still have most of the tooth, a whole nail, and one very soggy t-bone.)

Besides, the gastric acid in your stomach is much stronger than any of the acids in Coca-Cola, so the Coca-Cola is harmless.

The next time you're stopped by a highway patrolman, try asking him if he's ever scrubbed blood stains off a highway with Coca-Cola (or anything else). If you're lucky, by the time he stops laughing he'll have forgotten about the citation he was going to give you.

Last updated:   29 March 2004 http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/acid.asp

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Hairspray takes out ink stains.

I don't know why.

But I do know that to clean up oil spills off the road you use Dawn dish washing liquid. To clean an oil spill off of water human hair sewn into mesh bags works best.

We report. You wonder why.

[NicknamedBob]

If you have the kind of hair-spray that makes me choke, and my dog sneeze, then it probably contains some kind of petroleum distillate.

Such will dissolve the ink, but it evaporates quickly. You have to blot up the ink as quickly as you spray the spot.

[Monkey Face]

I also have a list of "cures" and "obscure uses" for household items. I'll find it and post it, as well.

I prefer not to drink coke because of what I saw it do to hamburger, lo, these many years ago when I was but a Child Bride.

[Monkey Face]

"...Such will dissolve the ink, but it evaporates quickly. You have to blot up the ink as quickly as you spray the spot."

You are SUCH a killjoy! ;o]

[NicknamedBob]

"Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?"

More importantly, and much more mysterious ... Did kamikaze pilots wear clean underwear?

[Monkey Face]

The underwear may have been clean when they began their flights, but the condition of said underwear a split second before impact may be an entirely different matter...

[queenkathy]

I just can't stand the taste of water...It's boring...Even with a lemon in it. I know I should drink it. The new flavored water is too sweet...

But those are some great reasons to force myself.

[Monkey Face]

I learned how to drink water when I was diagnosed with CFIDS. Now, I drink about a gallon a day. But it has to be ICE water. I don't like the flavorings in water, except for lime, which I often add myself. But I drink a lot of it. Up to then, I only drank water in coffee or scotch. ;o]

How are you doing? And how is your son?

[NicknamedBob]

" ...blot up the ink as quickly as you spray the spot."

Well, you can do that!

Just put several layers of paper towels under the stained fabric, and spray away. The ink should be "carried" by the liquid into the paper towels without harming the fabric.

It's a form of "dry-cleaning" without the carbon tetrachloride.

[sionnsar]

I start off my mornings with several glasses of water. And once in a while a cup of coffee if I think of it.

[Monkey Face]

Hey! My mother used to use carbon tet when I was a little kid! (Oooops! Did I reveal too much?)

[sionnsar]

I just can't stand the taste of water...It's boring...Even with a lemon in it.

Sparkling water. ("Mit gas" as they say in Germany.)

[Monkey Face]

I don't drink much coffe any more, but I GOTTA have that water! The colder the better!

How was your week? And will you be trying to relax this weekend?

[Do not dub me shapka broham]

Only saw one bear.

Then you need to move to New Jersey!

:0)

[NicknamedBob]

"the taste of water...It's boring...

I understand there is a product you can add to water now to take away the boredom factor.

It's supposed to be in the grocery stores. I haven't seen it myself. Some people take it into restaurants, and ask for ice-water with their meals!

('Face, any non-killjoy points for this tip?)

[Monkey Face]

The water in Germany was so bad, they HAD to make bier out of it!

"Ein bier, bitte!"

I liked it when it was delivered to my door...

[queenkathy]

Sparkling Water? Hmmm. I never tried it...

Is it carbonated?

[Monkey Face]

"('Face, any non-killjoy points for this tip?)"

Da-de-da...do-de-do...hum-te-hum...

Oh. Were you talking to ME?

Well, er...what have you got to offer besides your groveling trick?

[Monkey Face]

Utah has a lot of bears as well...the high Uintahs are full of them, but they are found all over the state.