DUmmie FUnnies 07-14-05 ("Astrologers: What's in Karl Rove's chart?")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | July 14, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

I'll second the recommendation about using and Ethernet port instead of the USB.

Gotcha! Will probably do so this Wednesday. BTW, where can I get Zone Alarm?

[USAFJeeper]

Only one letter off :) And I am keeping an eye on Carl Sagan too... (Wait is he the one who died recently? Maybe I will just go sit in a corner quietly)

[darkangel82]

You can get Zone Alarm at their website here.

[NonLinear]

That was the most nonsensical gobbledy-gook I've ever read. WHAT THE HELL DOES ALL THAT POOP MEAN????????????????

For $9.00 per minute I will tell you!
Free hint:
If you have a klingon orbiting Uranus, that is a sign that you have not used paper wisely...

[NonLinear]

I know someone who claims he can sell me a used computer with a lot of stuff on it cheap.

Be sure to get the used Rolex computer!

[NonLinear]

Now he wants me to take a regular phone outside and find some kind of thing attached to my house by the phone company and plug my phone in the user's side to see if there is any static on it. If there is I am supposed to call the phone company as it is a problem in the phone line. I have walked around my house and searched for some thingy that looks like what he is talking about, but I don't see it.

I think he is pulling my leg.

He's not pulling your leg. The box outside where the phone line enters the house will have a jack in it that you can plug your phone into. You generally have to unplug the phone plug that is already plugged into it, that is connecting your house to the phone company wires.

If there is static at that jack, it is the phone company's problem. If not, but static is present on your phone inside the house, then it is in your wiring and not the phone company's. If you pay the maintenance fee every month, it doesn't matter where it is. If not, it may be time to learn how to work a cheap multi-meter.

[jurroppi1]

Personally I use both a hardware firewall, and a software firewall, several malicious code checking utilities, and 3 spy-ware removal tools.

If you want to be safe, due diligence is key!

[Goodgirlinred]

I don't know what a maintenance fee is. What is a cheap multimeter?

I spent the morning on the phone with Earthlink and everything they told me to do ended up not working. They said to call Norton as my security may be set too high.

My son-in-law found that thing under the addition to the house. Now I have to crawl under there with the spiders, and God forbid snakes, and plug in the phone to test it. I think I should get Verizon to put in DSL. Is that good? Less problems?

Thank you.

[PJ-Comix]

I talked to the guy again today. Too flakey. I think I will just get a NEW computer around Labor Day. I will need it for my planned DUFU Podcasts this Autumn.

[Charles Henrickson]

Feel the love for Vice-President Cheney, who right now is suffering from various physical ailments:

Cheney suffering from esophagitis

Cheney found to have enlarged colon.

Cheney should step down for health reasons

Looks like the answer to Dick Cheney's medical problems....

[Charles Henrickson]

[I accidentally left out a couple thread links.]

Feel the love for Vice-President Cheney, who right now is suffering from various physical ailments:

Cheney suffering from esophagitis

Cheney found to have enlarged colon.

Cheney should step down for health reasons

Looks like the answer to Dick Cheney's medical problems....

Are Cheney's illnesses getting serious enough for him to resign?

Is Dick Cheney DEAD???

[Mr. Silverback]

Since the gravitational influence of the doctor and any nurses has a greater effect on a baby then the planets, don't they need to know the weight and location in the room of any doctors and nurses before they can attempt to ascertain gravitational impact on baby Rove?

Excellent point.

[Mr. Silverback]

Astrologers: What's in Karl Rove's chart?

"I just did a chart on him, and it says he'll go bald before the month is out."

Will he get off or can we kiss him goodbye?

Hmmm...well, seeing as what he did doesn't match even one of the several hoops you must jump through to break the law in question, and seeing as Joe Wilson had outed his wife years before Karl, I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's not going anywhere.

For Asteroid watchers: Nemesis is currently at 5 degrees Cancer
So was his Chiron at 0 Capricorn

This is hilarious! They're using charts that assume that the Sun and the planets revolve around the Earth, but if astronomers find a new rockpile, they just have to incorporate it into their calculations!

Rove's Capricorn Sun (3 degrees of the sign) was sorely impacted by the Cancer Solstice and Full Moon of June 20-21, 2005. So was his Chiron at 0 Capricorn.

And we all know how painful an impacted chiron can be for a man Karl's age.

This is a noon chart...anyone have his real birth time?

Becuse hey, when you're trying to figure out the effect distant astronomical bodies might have on a man's daily life, you don't want to use sloppy data!

Watching that neptune T-Square..needs just the right placment...throw in a bit of Jeff Gannon and Voila! I think its a hit! Whadya think?

Heck, the Jeff Gannon incident will bring down the whole administration. Even Barney the Scottish Terrier will be prosecuted. It's written in the stars.

Is Carl Rove subjected to psychic attack?

Have you finished drinking your bong water?

Frankly, for the negative, I don't want his karma contaminating my body.... On the other hand, To make this man stop creating his bad karma would create goodness in and throughout mankind eventually.

C'mon, you know you want to...maybe Karl could bring over some champagne and chocolates to make it easier for you, or even borrow Dubya's flight suit.

Just be assured that nobody can survive the Saturn direct/retrograde influences he'll be subjected to and not be seriously diminished.

But not as much as one would be diminished by a direct retrograde influenece in Uranus.

Something about the eclipse of April 8 at 19 Aries, which is triggered early this coming week, keeps gnawing at me.

That's actually the sensation of a tiny demon munching on your soul.

What happened on the eclipse in early April? Does anyone remember? Is that when his poll numbers skydived? Because it looks as if (if he's not hitting his head on something again) he's causing more pillaging, ravaging, and plundering to the country in September. When Saturn goes over the country's Jupiter, the country either changes leadership or goes through restructuring.

What you've seen is that Dubya remains in charge, but declares himself King of All Vikings, and sends his Viking hordes forth to pillage the DU servers. Fortunately, they will remian profoundly uninterested in your women.

I've been outdoors most of the day, and am heading for bed.

A full day of hugging trees and whispering "death to Dubya" to passing squirrels could tire anybody out.

It's that same Pluto point that Mercury will conjunct July 18th that will also square the nodes. More when my brain kicks in.

By the time your brain kicks in, we'll have landed astronauts on Pluto.

[Mr. Silverback]

Translation of entire DUmmie thread: "Dang, we're morons."

[Mr. Silverback]

See post 193.

[steve-b]

I couldn't do it tonight. I just could not read DUmmie FUnnies. All that astrology mumbo-jumbo always gives me a headache. I don't understand a house being in Leo or a moon being in Pisces and I don't want to understand it.

Same here. If my brain somehow clicks into line to make sense of this gibberish, please shoot me.

[FredZarguna]

I can't find any specs on a 2030. Most cable modems that are USB enabled are also enabled for CAT-5 Ethernet. You can easily tell the difference because a USB connection looks like a "slot" with conductors not easily visible. The Ethernet port will have 8 wire conductors clearly visible on the base.

Here's an Ethernet connector:

Here's USB

You may also have a "mini" USB port on the cable modem side, connected with a cable which looks like this:

You can easily add a USB port card ($20) or a network card ($12-$15) to a legacy system. Unless you have other peripherals to connect, you most likely want the Ethernet card: in my experience USB is a real CPU pig on legacy (and even many newer) systems.

There's some info here among many places.