"The article says that nobody really knows what happened 780,000 years ago"
If it involves Bush's National Guard service, I'm sure Dan Rather will have a memo on it from that era.
Ah, yes, here it is;
Date: 778,000 B.C.
Subject: Cadet Bush
Memo to File: Cadet Bush has failed to attend a scheduled Army physical, citing the shift in the polar magnetic fields as his excuse.
Signed: Cmdr. Grogg.