So? This is the saddest story I've heard all day. Why do require someone telling you what to do all the time to have "meaning"? If you didn't have faith, you'd just stare at the wall all day and drool? It doesn't sound your life has meaning, it sounds like you are merely a puppet fulfilling someone else's "meaning". And for that matter what IS "meaning"? That word is observer dependent.
"Meaning" used in this way is just an excuse not to have a real answer.
Ok, since you seem to be the mind reader today ... please explain to me how I need someone telling me what to do all dall the time?
I most certainly didn't say that, or anything a cognizant person would consider to mean that. If I have that need, to be told what to do all day, I would really like to know about it.
Or maybe the situation here is that you can't seem to read, or are unable to understand what you read? Public school, I presume?
You'll have to consult an ontlogist for that.
My ponderances are more in the epistomological areas.