Posted on 09/21/2017 9:16:10 PM PDT by nickcarraway
According to the CDC:
Women twice as likely as men to take antidepressants
25% of women take mental health drugs.
I hope you have a good plan worked out with her in case you are suddenly incapacitated or worse. You don't want to leave her without a clue how to manage, or much of your hard work may go down the tube.
I have a very good LT disability policy through work, I have several million in life insurance (plus a good chunk of dough saved) and I’ve gone over the basics of how to (come close to) maintain her lifestyle in the event of my death with her (~$100k/year, with no mortgage, forever, indexed to inflation), her parents and our financial adviser, who is a very close friend of mine since middle school. No plan is ever fool-proof but I’ve done what I can.
Just in normal romance, things change on a daily basis. One day it takes 20 minutes to get her warmed up. The next 2 hours. The day after, she's jumping on you, getting you going.
Then of course there is the getting going and she hits the brakes.
It's like trying to open a safe and changing the combination everyday.
Throw PMS in there and it's a crap shoot for the man to get anything right.
Plus one
It often depends on the state in which the parties reside, the decade in which they divorce, the particular lawyers they hire and/or the judge who hears their case. Divorce has no universal governing body. If there were standardized national divorce laws, they would be just as horrible as Obamacare or CommonCore. So it's often the luck of the draw. The divorce industry (lawyers, judges, therapists, accountants, etc) also have been crafting all kinds of ways to get around "no-fault" since its inception in the late 70s, and the results are not uniform by any means.
In SC that you mentioned as an example, it is still a "Bible belt" state where women may still invoke the hoop skirts-and-parasols stereotypes of helpless lil' wimmen. But in major cities of the northeast or west coast, there are lawyers who specialize in helping the stay-at-home spouses of professional men (lawyers, doctors, etc) who get absolutely destroyed by their husbands in divorce—because they can. It's a patchwork all over the nation.
When our "free" society first started, there was a fairly uniform moral code rooted in Judeo-Christian values. "Fault" divorce actually penalized wrongdoings like adultery, abandonment or bigamy. "No-fault" was supposed to be an enlightened way for couples who agreed to divorce could speed up the process; but it soon morphed into a full-blown marxist assault on traditional morality, common sense and/or fair play. Now that four generations have had all that exploded in their faces, legal outcomes are anything some random judge thinks they should be whether he or she is having a good day or a bad one. It's chaos.
Since 1990, notes the psychoanalyst and writer, the rate of married women who report they’ve been unfaithful has increased by 40 percent, while the rate among men has remained the same.
From "How to Lie With Statistics" I understand this writer is trying to make a small number look large. An increase of 40% can be 2 out of a hundred changing to 3 out of a hundred. So, if 4 of a hundred cheated in a 1990 survey and now 27 years later 5.6 cheat, that is a 40% increase.
On the downside of their sexual market value, their hypergamy internal switch kicked in and they latched on to a Beta male for a decent cash flow.
His boring life of working hard to support her and her family are not enough to stop love for the *ock carousal.
You are right to some degree (it varies by by state/local/judge), but according to NATIONAL statistics, women are 11x more likely to get child custody than the man is and 32x more likely to get alimony. No fault divorce simply screws men over, period. There are exceptions, of course, in a nation this large there always will be.
Not according to this article, this article.
Neither of your articles refutes my point or puts forward any comparative statistics. The "research" cited was the opinion of marriage counselors, and it was a very small sample of 100, not an actual reputable study of thousands of divorcing couples. All that either of those articles says is that people cite several reasons for getting divorced, women one set and men another. It does not give any numbers for any of those reasons.
1) the point is the primary reason women file for divorce isn’t cheating and 2) men aren’t cheating more than they were 50 years ago when divorce filings were much closer to 50/50
Those statements are misleading and badly worded.
• Are they identifying themselves as the cheater and therefore that is why they are getting divorced against their will, or because they like the new person better?
• Are they identifying cheating as the main reason for the divorce, without indicating whether it was their own cheating or their partner's cheating that they blame?
• Was the cheating something one did first or for a prolonged time, abandoning sex with the spouse, and then the other spouse hooked up with someone else after having been abandoned by the first cheater, but the statistics simply count both of them as having cheated?
"There are lies, damned lies and statistics." This is not to say statistics cannot help -- good, well-constructed studies that reveal the mechanics of how the numbers were arrived at and that study a large and representative sample of people can be helpful. But you didn't even cite the source of your chart, much less who conducted it, how many were studied over what period of time, and a variety of other factors that would lend legitimacy.
Very responsible! Hope you both live long and happily and exit within a short span of time from one another.
Congratulations ! You managed to find another post written by someone inviting you to tell them what you think, what they should do, and how horrible they are !
Whoo hoo !
Cheers, a-hole. I appreciate the Doctorphilling that you have graciously bestowed. I’m glad you were there for those 14 years of our lives so that you could level your wisdom on us.
I guarentee I will never be cheated on by my wife.
That’s because I refuse to marry anyone.
I judge you. I look down upon you, since I am superior to you in every way. Your lifestyle is unacceptable to me and to all good people. Why you want to live the way you do is mindboggling to any thinking person.
Remind me to cool my girlfriends' slacks down after taking them out of the drier.
There is simply no way to make divorce "fair". It is an abomination start to finish. Final statistics do not reveal the circumstances that created them unless they are the result of a rigorous study process of causation. If divorcing women are 11 percent more likely to get custody, it could be that divorcing men are 89% less likely to have taken an interest in raising their chlldren, or that they have overwhelmingly brought a third party into the relationship who doesn't want the children, for all we know. If women are 32x more lilkely to get alimony, perhaps they are also 32x more likely to have reduced their work lives to take care of their children while their husbands worked, and now have no marketable skills. Numbers out of context do not and cannot tell the whole story.
I hear what you are saying; it may feel skewed, especially if a man is unfairly judged and gets the shaft; but trying to use endgame stats to explain causation doesn't work.
One of the earlier posters cited some articles about why women say they divorce vs. why men say they divorce. Among the women's top reasons was that they felt their husbands did not listen to them or hear what she is trying to tell them. Among the men's top reasons was that the divorce was a complete blindside and he had no idea anything was wrong until she hauled him into counseling. That, right on its face, demonstrates that the two parties are often playing with an entirely different deck and have not done the work to make their marriage a true partnership instead of a contract of anticipated entitlements.
That level of promiscuity is going to create a disease vector approaching that of homosexual males, and don't think that single women haven't started abusing their bodies in the same, very unsanitary ways. It must be porn influence, I honestly don't see why women would do that. Well, I really don't understand why anybody would, but it's especially puzzling for women whose bodies are designed for penetration without going... there.
Why thank you! And thank you for demonstrating why it took you so long to find someone to marry you.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.