Anyway, I saw this over at The Best Week Ever Blog and it cracked me up!
10 Things We Wont Care About During Tonights American Idol Finale
10. What Jordin will be wearing during her big finale. 1 guess: Grecian gown. Next.
9. The celebrity guests in the audience. Lisa Rinna? Jennifer Aniston? Yawn. J.D. Salinger could be there with Shiloh Pitt slung in a papoose round his bod and well probably be too busy playing minesweeper to blink.
8. Scatting. How many Doo-be-doo-ba-ba-dahs can Blake Lewis throw into a song that isnt the Full House theme music? The answer? Snooze many.
7. How invested Simon Cowell is in tonights show. He knows this is the worst finale in AI history, so hes either going to give the blandest critiques of all time because, as well all know, his heart beats coals blood, or hes going to give Jordin the biggest confidence boost in history. Either way, well be sifting through our cats litter for fools gold.
6. The lyrics to the always cheesified finale number written specifically for the American Idol winner. If the songs A Moment Like This or This is the Night are any indication, tonights tune will probably be called How Lucky Can a Bitch Get? Expect Blake to sing it beautifully.
5. Ryan Seacrests jewel-encrusted lifts.
4. Paula Abdul on 3 times as much pain medication as before, thanks to her broken nose caused be her dog Tulip.
3. Cowell-Seacrest sexual innuendo. (Fine, well be a little interested in these last two )
2. Whether or not the perma-fake-grin hot glued to Jordins face will lock for eternity, or last only til the end of tomorrow nights episode. Why dont we also group in with this one What color will Blakes hair be? to be fair, though its the phony-smile that peeves us to no end. Then again, we dont care, right?
1. Who wins.