[Thatcherite]

my mood was tempered by the fact that your attempt at parody is so very and so sadly close to reality.

A real problem isn't it. I was as over the top as I could be whilst retaining comprehensibility, and yet all I managed was a painful approximation of reality.

[Dimensio]

The only part where you went off is in the backpeddling of your credentials. I've not seen actual creationists to do that. They either assert that they themselves have the credentials (while never demonstrating any level of knowledge that someone of said credentials should posess) or start out by citing an unnamed relative and/or friend with credentials (often credentials unspecified beyond "science" or "PhD", giving no indication regarding competence in biology) and stick with it.

They won't start with the assertion that they posess the credentials and then later claim that they "meant" someone else. That would be admitting a prior error, and creationists don't do that. If they start with the claim that they have credentials then they'll stick by their claim that they have "years" of experience under their belt, with no specific explanation of what that experience involved, no matter how incompetent they prove themselves in the relevant subjects of discussion.