You know, I don't go around all day screaming out my "sexual preference" to everyone. I remember when no one else did either.
Lynne Cheney's criticism of Kerry for bringing up her daughter is not the result of "shame" - it's just saying that there is still a part of the country that doesn't think someone should be defined solely, and loudly, by their sex life.
I'm of the old school. I think there should be shame in homosexuality. Not necessarily a law against it (though that should be a decision for states' to make), but certainly public opinion can play a part in keeping the problem from infecting the entire culture. Liberals, on the other hand, want government to dictate public opinion on the issue.