"God chose Jacob for His mercy before either child was born
(Romans 9)"
It is useful to note that Romans 9 does NOT say that Esau was "hated," or "chosen to be hated," before he was born.
DG
p.s. I know you did not say this, but some do.
With regard to Jacob and Esau, here are the relevant passages for anyone interested:
I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? [Was] not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness. - Malachi 1:2-3
And not only [this]; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, [even] by our father Isaac; (For [the children] being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;) It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated. - Romans 9:10-13