You guys are kidding, right? Those things are already dragging down halfway to her bellybutton, and she's only thirty. By the time she's forty they'll be hanging around her knees. Get some taste. Take a look at her father and you can see what she's going to look like in a few years. She'll look like John F with long dangly things flapping against her stomach. (shudder)
In the name of all that is conservative and holy, I would defile her. With Ketchup.