Free Republic

(AP) Nairobi, Nigeria -- Prince Alab Swalahari was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his palace in Nairobi on Tuesday. A note next to his body stated that he was despondent that no one would accept his attempt to give away his vast riches. His brother explained, "Alab had converted to Christianity quite some time ago. All he was trying to do was live a Christ-like life! Christ commands us to give our money to the poor. He tried for over 15 years, sending people emails to give away his money, but all he got back was mockery...

Hillary Clinton, facing increasing investigations of her private email accounts while she was Secretary of State, and worried that the scandal could destroy her presidential prospects, sat down yesterday with Oprah (for an interview to be aired tomorrow on MSNBC) to explain that she is "addicted to pornography, and set up the private email system so that she could surf the net without violating federal regulations."

-Satire - A recently unclassified government report warns against the possibility of violence by “right-wing extremists.” According to unnamed sources close to Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, you are a right wing extremist if you-- Were born in the Deep South Believe that 9/11 was more serious than Watergate Wear an American flag in your lapel Knowingly listen to Rush Limbaugh Speak and write perfect English, but no Spanish Own more than two Bibles or one Confederate Flag Believe that Jesus Christ means eternal life Support the rule of law and maintenance of law and order Want America’s borders secured...