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Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!

Yes. I’m here all week. Try the veal. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Seagulls come, poke me in the coconuts.

Ever watched any of the videos from Bad Lip Reading on YouTube?

The NFL ones and Star Wars ones are hilarious.

I would have gotten my eyeballs gouged out, and... well, you know the rest.

The cows evangelize?

REED MOR BYBEL

There’s a chatroom on the right...

Birds eat seeds.

Birds migrate thousands of miles.

Birds poop.

Bird poop is good fertilizer.

Lolz. I see what you did.

Reminds me of my favorite Faster Pussycat album.

They always put way too much mustard on my burger at Fuddrucker’s...

That doesn’t necessarily change my opinion. He alone had the power to stay in the game, and instead, bet on the come.

Never get voted out with an idol in your pocket.

How deep is your love?

Better than getting wasted.

RIFFS!