Free Republic

From the You Can't Believe Your Eyes file comes a progressive version of reality. If a cat believes itself to be a dog, who are we to disagree? Where this version of reality gets really scary is when they start legislating obvious nonsense into actual reality. How long before we're required by law to tell our anorexic friends they could stand to lose a few pounds?

In recent years, the closest thing the team has had to an offensive line is "Hail to the Redskins." Now the guilt riddled left is hell-bent on taking that away. The least disruptive and most cost effective solution for the Skins, would be to replace the formidable proud American Indian profile with the humble redskin potato. That should shut the libs up until they realize that potatoes are members of the tobacco family.

Why the long face America? John Kerry hasn't skipped a beat from Hillary in carrying out President Pandora's foreign policy. Turning the blindest of eyes from the outrageous treatment of Christians in the plethora of newly fundamentalist Islamic controlled countries and pushing hard for Israel to commit national suicide. One wonders how they find the time to wring their hands over Vlad Putin and Chinese rumblings while gutting our military. Funny, the only thing left in Pandora's box was HOPE.

Super Moderate Jeb Bush plays out his compassionate scamnesty logic with the help of Hard Left scambag, Harry Reid. If Jeb had been on the Titanic, I'm sure he would have been eager to work with the iceberg, to get things done.

As the world continues to fade to grainy black and white, Barry and his Democrats are bringing back a blast from the past, Blacklisting. In his zeal to root out communist ideology in America, Joe McCarthy used the force of government to ruin the lives of communist dupes in Hollywood and elsewhere. Finally, cooler heads prevailed and the witch hunts came to an end. Now the jackboot is on the other foot. The difference today is that there don't seem to be any cooler heads to put the brakes on this bunch who want to root out traditional American ideology....

Shrouded in mystery, the sudden disappearance of the Mayan empire baffles historians and provides fodder for the imaginative. What is known about the Mayan culture suggests that the world is a better place without it, or is it? We can imagine that the leadership of the last surviving remnants of the empire was less than optimal. Suppose the Blame Mesoamerica First crowd has weaseled its way into power concerning itself with looting the treasury and subjugating the people to enrich themselves and their comrades. Flash forward: As Mrs. Obama stands on the Great Wall and tells the Chinese how much...

Hillary has worn many hats. College radical, shady lawyer, cattle futures whiz, long suffering first lady, cookie hating mom, undistinguished Senator, and finally Barry's hapless Secretary of State. Strangely, her many endeavors are best characterized by what she didn't know, when. Only a common house cat is better at covering up its own messes. If America's voting public is not yet ready to abandon novelty elections, they might do better to skip proving they aren't sexist and go directly to proving they aren't specieist and elect the cat.

It's that time of year again. Like clockwork, Barry the Terrible has once again urged his faithful droogs to use the occasion of family holiday gatherings to aggressively promote his hard left agenda. If we want to hear a reverent holiday proclamation from this White House, we'll have to wait for Ramadan.

National Geographic, once a picture rich travel magazine, has evolved into another tentacle of the slime coated beast which should be called the Marxist Media. No longer satisfied with perpetuating pseudo-science hoaxes in its glossy pages, NatGeo has branched out to cable television, where it delights in freak shows on American sub-cultures. Doomsday Preppers is perhaps the pinnacle of the genre, where the wackiest survivalists are mocked for the amusement of the "rational" viewing audience. Voilà, preparedness, once a Boy Scout motto, is suddenly grounds for admission to a mental institution. Would that there were a channel that shined a...

According to Gallup 58% of us are in favor of the legalization of marijuana. With poll numbers like these, our Washington masters will certainly be moved to grant us bread and circuses. Here's a novel idea, let's legalize liberty, return to a limited Constitutional government and learn what it feels like to really breathe free. Even the huddled mass of pot-heads should be able to get their minds around such a simple concept.

A few questions: Is there any doubt that the Federal Government is way too powerful? Is Jimmy Carter the second worst U.S. President? Is the National Park Service only following orders? Does a bear sit in the woods?

As Ol' FoFo opens his Obamacare exchanges and plays the government shutdown like a violin, we the sheeple are all the while being marched into Barry's "socially just" abyss.

If we trace backward along the red lines drawn by Dear Leader, a reason for his nonsensical behavior emerges. Has Barry been huffing his red marker? What else could be causing him to facilitate the worldwide ascendancy of fundamentalist Islam? Oh yeah, there is his ideology.

Professional egghead, Karl Rove, is seen here putting the stink in distinction without a difference. When will the GOP leadership stop trying to impress the left by emulating them? The choice they leave the Conservatarian is a trip to hell on a cruise ship or a Saturn V rocket. They banned waterboarding, when will they ban whiteboarding? Torture is torture.

The Chris Matthews mystery has been solved. Researchers have discovered that Matthews suffers from advanced stage Cerebral Thrillosis. CT occurs when the brain reaches its maximum containment level of leftist ideas. Once saturation is complete the abnormality begins to boil over into other parts of the body, most often an extremity. A common initial symptom is described as a thrill up a leg associated with autocracy. In the final throes of this condition, the patient's tongue becomes incapable of forming credible statements. CT is highly contagious as evidenced by the behavior of all the employees of MSNBC. The old adage...

When the Trayvon Martin tragedy first occurred, our post-racial president insinuated himself into the action by opining how his imaginary son would look like Trayvon. Barry's "free press" went wild trying to create a story of George Zimmerman as a white racist murderer. The Polarizer-In-Chief never misses an occasion to keep us separated into neat, easily manipulated little groups, dependent on ever expanding government programs. You see, Creepy-ass Socialists thrive on the dependence of their subjects, not their independence. I guess Barry's imaginary son might sound a lot like Trayvon too, since the ember never falls far from the crack...

The American Medical Association has officially classified obesity as a disease. With this edict, the Obamacare facilitating AMA opens the door for publicly financed mandatory treatment programs, because prevention initiatives have failed. For the full weight of the U.S. Government to be effective in solving this new health crisis, old Uncle Sam will need to bulk up. So, who's the biggest loser in the administrations War on Liberty? We are.

...and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver. Left to the Left, idyllic Mayfield has become a sink hole of Progressive ideology in the "Leave it to Beaver" lost episode, "Beaver's Fever". Beaver, suffering a high fever, dreams that he has been dressed up as a creepy girl and made to stand in front of his class in a bizarre version of Mayfield Elementary, where every subject is infused with Leftist indoctrination. By the end of the show, his fever breaks and all is back to normal. The episode was shelved, as the shows producers found it unbelievably far-fetched and feared the...

To paraphrase one of Barry's Marxist mentors, Jeremiah Wright, Obama's chickens are coming home to roooost! Speaker Boehner wants to know who's going to jail over the IRS scandal. We've heard many such opening salvos from the Speaker, then comes a round of golf or a getting to know you dinner, and then nothing happens. Unless Congress moves to abolish the IRS and replace our taxation system with an equitable way of financing legitimate government, nothing will change. These guys have been yanking our chains for way too long. If we weren't wearing chains they'd have to find something else...

Does Barnito still have the juice? A cluster of legislative failures, is making The One look pretty watered down these days. His thwarted attempt to ruin Summer vacation travel for the masses, in order to blame the pain on his enemies, is a biggie. All he seems to have left in his bag of tricks is the fast-tracking of cultural rot and the absolute corruption of every Federal agency.