Posted on 04/22/2018 11:48:52 AM PDT by Hostage
I didn't know family counselors, especially Christian family counselors, had a duty to report to the state.
To the great mothers out there, this is not a male v. female thing as the genders in the above story could be reversed and the point would remain the same, that a counseling clinic can call in an aggressive CPS investigation that could go off the rails.
I also point out that it is strange to think that a 'Christian' service has a duty to the state first before having a duty to a family in a Christian setting. This puzzles me. I don't have any good answers.
He should’ve asked the counselor if reporting to the state was required by law. I would suspect it is these days. If the counselor KNOWS that child abuse is occurring/has occurred in a home, & they do nothing, they could be liable if something happens in the future.
The father initiated a course of action. He should follow through on it.
You can’t tell me the SS# is required. I have reported child abuse and had no earthly clue what the SS# was. Plus, either the reporting is mandatory or it’s not. Do you imagine the statute reads, ‘Must report provided the parent divulges the SS#; otherwise, no responsibility to reort.’
Please. This thing stinks to high heaven. Prayers for the father and his son.
“He asked me for feedback. I told him he might need to consider a third-party evaluation of his son to obtain objective evidence for the court to weigh.”
You caused it.
SSN and DOB were needed to report so that the child was identifiable in the state database. The father didn’t provide it.
When I was a kid, kids didn’t need an SSN until they were old enough to work for wages.
Can’t disagree that I played a factor.
Question is if one wants to avoid a CPS investigation and obtain a third-party record for the court, how can that be done?
This is certainly a horrible predicament, & I have no trust in the child welfare folks or even the police to do the right thing anymore. The SS# isn’t anything to get hung up about. We get asked for that number for any irrelevant thing these days. If the son is experiencing abuse at the hands of the mother’s boyfriend - to the point of trembling at the prospect of being sent to his home - someone needs to intervene. The father can’t do that himself now. That means going to the authorities who have the ability to terminate custodial rights.
I will most certainly pray for the father & child.
“But over the course of about a year, the hostility of the ex-wife’s boyfriend turned to abuse.”
This is about where my blood reached billing level. People would start disappearing. Just vanishing.
Boiling level! Sorry, on the phone.
So the state has it set up so that all a parent has to do to avoid a child abuse report is to withhold two pieces of information.
Got it.
I am 100% biased. I am a deeply, profoundly committed Christian, but I have experienced the absolute worst of ‘Christian’ Counseling. The only help I ever received was from a secular counselor after ***innumerable*** attempts at ‘Christian,’ Counseling had progressively made the situation exponentially worse.
The abuse can be reported but unless there is identifying information on the child, there is no way that CPS can know what child they are supposed to be attaching an investigation to.
So the father paid via cash, no check/address involved?
Reading this narrative reminded me to a large degree of my own experience. I do not know what jurisdiction your friend lives in, but in mine, there are restrictions on live-ins being around during night time hours when the child is present. I would NEVER hire a counselor or psychologist without advice of Counsel. And I would certainly follow my Counsels recommendation on a plan of action to address any abuse. I am not familiar with family law, but it is my understanding that any allegation of sexual abuse of a child MUST be reported. Not reporting is an offense. Making a false report is an offense. Get with a good attorney an make a plan to address the problem. Dad is at fault if he does nothing and his child gets hurt.
Sorry, but grow a set and take action. Be prayerful. If CPS must do an investigation, keep witnesses and your attorney on call.
He had no idea that a ‘Christian’ clinic was regulated by the state. To him, it was no different than going to his priest, only he needed a legal record to take to the court.
He wanted to file a motion with the court to restrict visitation to the mother unless there was monitoring. He had no idea that CPS could be brought in. He had zero trust for CPS.
My take is that CPS is a necessary agency but they seem to be feared because they treat all parties as suspects and they end up taking over a child’s life away from both ‘bad’ parents even if one parent is responsible and not at fault.
IOW, CPS like a lot of government agencies have no means to temper a situation with best practices because if they get it wrong, they can be blamed, whereas going tyrannical is not as risky for them.
I don’t know. When we take the boys for pizza, he uses a card.
He’s probably painted a target on himself by lying to, and playing games with, the counselor.
Until he pulled that stunt, it sounds like he was playing a smart, defensive, game.
I asked him why he doesn’t trust CPS to do the right thing, but his experience says they don’t have the means to do the right thing. It’s less risky for them to come down on all sides equally, at least at the start.
I believe he’s getting a lawyer.
I know nothing of the circumstances but if a boyfriend living with my ex is abusing my son I would hot foot it down to a lawyer worth his hire. By doing nothing I would consider myself guilty of neglect of my son. Should be noted that in this case it appears the son is appealing to his father.Time to bite the bullet.
Had the counselor been honest he’d have leveled with the dad up front. As in, ‘If I find evidence of abuse I’ll have to report it.’
But then he might not have gotten the gig. Better to wait until later to spill the beans.
(Alternately, had the counselor been honest from the get go, he might have both secured the client and the reporting. People appreciate honesty and integrity.)
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