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Single Christians Can Have Sex as Long as It's 'Mutually Pleasurable and Affirming,' Pastor Says
Christian Post ^ | August 22, 2016 | Leonardo Blair

Posted on 08/25/2016 5:24:13 PM PDT by Gamecock

Bucking against conservative Christian tradition advising against extra-marital sex, the Rev. Bromleigh McCleneghan, a married mother of three and associate pastor for ministry with families at Union Church of Hinsdale in Illinois, says single Christians can have sex as long as it's "mutually pleasurable and affirming."

Citing 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, many Mainline Protestant and evangelical churches like the Assemblies of God Church, advise against sexual relations among single Christians.

"Today within our society singles exist for one of two reasons — by choice, or by circumstance. In either case the Bible's mandate is clear for all unmarried individuals: they are to remain sexually pure (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)," the Assemblies of God church warned.

For McCleneghan, however, whose views are comprehensively captured in her new book, Good Christian Sex: Why Chastity Isn't the Only Option — And Other Things the Bible Says About Sex, single Christians don't need to abstain from sex to remain pure since being chaste is about moderation.

"American Christians sometimes conflate celibacy and chastity, too, which is a problem. Chastity is a virtue, related to temperance — it's about moderating our indulgences and exercising restraint. We're all called to exercise chastity in a variety of ways, though the details will vary given our individual situations," McCleneghan said in an op-ed for The Washington Post.

"In the official teaching of the Catholic Church and some other churches, however, chastity requires restraining oneself from indulging in sexual relationships outside of the bounds (and bonds) of marriage. That is, chastity for singles means celibacy — no sex. … I'd argue that we can be chaste — faithful — in unmarried sexual relationships if we exercise restraint: if we refrain from having sex that isn't mutually pleasurable and affirming, that doesn't respect the autonomy and sacred worth of ourselves and our partners," she explained.

McCleneghan believes it's unfair to ask single Christians who haven't been called to a life of celibacy to refrain from sexual intimacy when both men and women need sex.

"There are those who feel that they are called to seasons of celibacy, or even years of celibacy, and if answering that call is life-giving and purposeful, then they should take it up as a spiritual discipline. But no call can be forced on an unwilling person, especially not if they find themselves single only by virtue of circumstance," she wrote.

"Plenty of women and men love sex, and need it — we need bodily pleasure, remember — and the abundant life for them will involve seeking out relationships of mutual pleasure. Chastity, or just sex, requires that whether we are married or unmarried, our sex lives restrain our egos, restrain our desire for physical pleasure when pursuing it would bring harm to self or other," she added.

The Christian Post reached out to McCleneghan to further discuss her book on Monday but she was unavailable for comment at the time this story was published.

While some Christian scholars have offered praise for McCleneghan's views, not everyone thinks her advice is sound.

"We are to be Holy people, blameless and spotless unto Jesus Christ. One man and one woman married until death, not extra-marital affairs (adulterous behavior) even fornication. That is sin that will lead anyone to eternal Hell. Please show me Scripture that backs up your belief," wrote Trish Nastasi, a longtime married Christian woman on McCleneghan's Facebook page.

McCleneghan, who began her ministry at Hinsdale in July 2015, is responsible for worship, pastoral care, ministry leadership, teaching at the church. Her special focus is on helping people with children at home better their ability and commitment to raising those children in the Christian faith, according to the Church.


TOPICS: Current Events
KEYWORDS: fornication; homosexualagenda; moralabsolutes; sluttalks; ucc
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To: LadyDoc
so looking at a woman with lust is a sin, but having sex with her is not.

Got it.

Evidently you don't "got it". Big difference between adultery (as specified in Matthew) and the topic at hand - nice try though....

Keep digging though - other than religious doctrine (which often goes way off course from the Word of the Bible) I haven't seen it called a sin - may not be backed and condoned, but also not specifically condemned.

I am one of those who was not a virgin when married as I imagine is the case of the majority trying to make "a federal case" of this. Funny what turns people's cranks to allow them to demonstrate a little above and beyond self-righteousness.....

121 posted on 08/28/2016 5:12:26 AM PDT by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)
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To: Gamecock
UCC, not a real church at all. The Men's Club for September will be hosting some bimbo pretending to be Bette Davis, if that tells you something. Bunch of horny suburbans apparently.
122 posted on 08/28/2016 5:09:46 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: LadyDoc

Nicely done reductio ad absurdum.


123 posted on 08/28/2016 5:15:03 PM PDT by ameribbean expat
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To: trebb
Just because you were not a virgin at the time of your marriage does not make it OK from a Biblical stand point. Scripture is clear that virginity is God's law. For a supposed minister to tell Christians otherwise is leading the sheep down the path of destruction.
124 posted on 08/28/2016 5:30:20 PM PDT by Gamecock (There is always one more idiot than you counted on.)
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To: trebb
As a physician I see the fruits of a society that does not see sex outside of marriage wrong.

unwed mothers, who often live in poverty, children growing up in broken families. STDs, HIV and abortion. And this doesn't include the poor victimized by sex traffickers, a major problem in the Philippines but also found in the USA.

and this is in a world with reliable contraception.

And you think these things are not sins because you parse the words and ignore the spirit of the law?

125 posted on 08/28/2016 11:35:09 PM PDT by LadyDoc
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To: Gamecock
Just because you were not a virgin at the time of your marriage does not make it OK from a Biblical stand point. Scripture is clear that virginity is God's law. For a supposed minister to tell Christians otherwise is leading the sheep down the path of destruction.

??? Never said the Bible condoned it - just that it didn't call it a sin to have sex when not married.

Where does it say virginity is "God's law? Jesus told us that there were really two great commandments and that the love included in each meant no harm which fulfilled the intent of the Law - much of which was negated with the New Covenant, hence the folks who decided they would continue to follow the Law being rebuked for having fallen from Grace. (Not saying we shouldn't be better but that God, who made us, knew we couldn't be and decided to fulfill His Law for us by allowing His Son to be sacrificed).

126 posted on 08/29/2016 3:53:47 AM PDT by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)
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To: LadyDoc
And you think these things are not sins because you parse the words and ignore the spirit of the law?

Never said it was good and I acknowledge the disease and other terrible things that can happen with sex for anyone, much less youngsters (but the original topic wasn't confined to youngsters).

The only place I recall seeing anything about the intent of the Law is when Jesus gave us the two great commandments (Love God with every fiber of our being and love our neighbors as ourselves) - because where there is love there is no harm and that fulfills the intent/spirit of the Law.

Understand, I didn't condone it, I just stated that it wasn't, to my knowledge, called a sin in the Bible (premarital sex - not sex trafficking and other actual sins against children and others of His children) and that most of those who were putting on sack cloth and gnashing their teeth over the topic were also guilty of the exact same thing they railed against - lots of unworthy stones being flung around.

BTW - it was you who "parsed the words" with your out of context reference.

All that said, as a physician, you must see many heartbreaking things. I will pray that God braces you up and helps you do the best possible job for those you tend to and that He Grace you with awareness of some of the better impacts you have on some.

127 posted on 08/29/2016 4:03:59 AM PDT by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)
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To: trebb
"At any rate, I am not sure if the Bible calls premarital sex a sin. It tells us not to be sexually impure, but does it actually call it a sin?"

The word you are looking for is "fornication."

128 posted on 08/29/2016 4:14:52 AM PDT by Flag_This (Liberals are locusts.)
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To: trebb
Where does it say virginity is "God's law?

The OT tells us what sexual immorality consists of. Here are the parts having to do with one's virginity: Exodus 22:16 “If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife.

Leviticus 21:14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or a woman who has been defiled, or a prostitute, these he shall not marry. But he shall take as his wife a virgin of his own people,

Deuteronomy 22:19 and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife. He may not divorce her all his days.

Deuteronomy 22:20 But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman, 21 then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father's house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.

Jesus told us that there were really two great commandments and that the love included in each meant no harm which fulfilled the intent of the Law - much of which was negated with the New Covenant,

Nothing has been negated by the "New Covenant." To love God with all your heart is to keep His laws. ALL of them. The NT is very specific in calling out sinners on their sexual immorality. To say those OT laws no longer apply is leading people down the path of condemnation.

129 posted on 08/29/2016 7:39:40 AM PDT by Gamecock (There is always one more idiot than you counted on.)
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To: Gamecock

So, any sex that’s not rape is okay?


130 posted on 08/29/2016 9:55:15 AM PDT by fwdude (If we keep insisting on the lesser of two evils, that is exactly what they will give us from now on.)
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To: LadyDoc

Yep.

You said it, as an expert.


131 posted on 08/29/2016 9:56:44 AM PDT by fwdude (If we keep insisting on the lesser of two evils, that is exactly what they will give us from now on.)
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To: Gamecock
Nothing has been negated by the "New Covenant."

So, when Perter had his dream and the words from God (in response to that he would not eat that which was unclean) were something to the effect, "Who are you to call unclean what I have made clean" have no relevance or meaning?

If nothing changed with the New Covenant then why did Gd waste His time?

132 posted on 08/30/2016 4:43:04 AM PDT by trebb (Where in the the hell has my country gone?)
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To: metmom
The penalty for sex outside marriage in the OT was death by stoning.

Except for single people. If two single people had sex, their penalty was that they had to get married.

And that was punishment enough.

133 posted on 08/30/2016 4:48:26 AM PDT by Jess Kitting
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To: cyclotic

“Well, once you ignore the scriptures about female ‘pastors,’ there’s no reason to follow the rest of them.”

There you go! Women preachers — absolutely unbiblical.


134 posted on 08/30/2016 4:50:41 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam
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To: Pollster1

“I thought I was pretty knowledgeable on the Bible, but I am unable to recall which passages affirm her conclusion”

She isn’t knowledgeable on the Bible, or she wouldn’t call herself a pastor.


135 posted on 08/30/2016 4:52:11 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam
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To: trebb

This one was specifically over turned.

Sex laws weren’t.


136 posted on 08/30/2016 5:25:57 AM PDT by Gamecock (There is always one more idiot than you counted on.)
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To: Jess Kitting

Someone facetiously asked if that did not mean that it made it a fate worse than death?


137 posted on 08/30/2016 6:31:27 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: arthurus; Gamecock; Alex Murphy; bkaycee; boatbums; CynicalBear; daniel1212; dragonblustar; ...
Protestants. But then Pope Francis seems to be sidling over to it, too.

Quite the broad brush there.

The opinion of one lone person represents all Protestantism?

Are you sure you really want to go there?

138 posted on 08/30/2016 6:34:18 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: trebb
At any rate, I am not sure if the Bible calls premarital sex a sin. It tells us not to be sexually impure, but does it actually call it a sin? I suppose it might consider it a "wedding ceremony" if one was to be "as correct as possible".

At that point, then, only two virgins get one shot at it, and after that it's sin because in God's eyes, they set up that one flesh union.

139 posted on 08/30/2016 6:40:28 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: LadyDoc

Ouch.....


140 posted on 08/30/2016 6:41:22 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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