Posted on 04/12/2016 6:38:57 PM PDT by Lee N. Field
LOUISVILLE, KY—For the third time in as many gatherings, the Together for the Gospel Conference was marred by an outbreak of turbulence as tensions rose over differing hermeneutic approaches to Scripture. “The dispensationalists feel like they’ve been given short shrift again,” said Dr. John Dawsen, as a Crossway pen whizzed by his ear. “Combine the grammatical-historical and redemptive-historical feud and inter-complementarian squabbles, and you have a recipe for contention.”
Clad in a Straight Outta Westminster t-shirt and sporting a teardrop tattoo by his left eye, Charles Lyman said, “It’s not my fault they can’t read their Bibles. Next time they won’t bring an eschatology chart to a sword fight.”
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Event organizers were at odds about how to calm the various combatants. Some suggested that a breakout session headed by rising kingpin “Dalek” Rimshaw could bring accord to the warring sides, but he was not to be found among the participants.
“We are seriously considering that our next conference may have to take place by remote video in order to avoid these regrettable atrocities,” lamented Chas Timmly. “We will be calling it “Apart Together for the Gospel.”
“Clad in a Straight Outta Westminster t-shirt "
I want that shirt.
(BTW, parody parody parody.)
HERESY!!!! BURN IT!!!
;-)
They have what you need on Amazon. Of course!
In case anyone wonders, this is parody, and doesn’t happen. Contrary theses is far as we get nowadays.
Me, too.
“But to hear those guys talk, it’s like five blind men trying to describe an Oliphant
Oliphant was a columnist for the NY times in my youth.
Maybe an anti- Christian?
Straight outta Westminster...I love it.
A heresy joke:
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing
on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said “Stop!
don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”
He said, “Like what?”
I said, “Well...are you religious or atheist?”
He said, “Religious.”
I said, “Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?”
He said,”Christian.”
I said, “Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?”
He said, “Protestant.”
I said, “Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?”
He said, “Baptist!”
I said,”Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or
baptist church of the lord?”
He said, “Baptist church of god!”
I said, “Me too! Are you original baptist church of god,
or are you reformed baptist church of god?”
He said,”Reformed Baptist church of god!”
I said, “Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god,
reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god,
reformation of 1915?”
He said, “Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!”
I said, “Die, heretic scum”, and pushed him off.
Clan Oliphant were Episcopalian Jacobites who served the Stuart monarchy in its long decline and end.
Laurence Oliphant and his son fought to the end, losing their lands and fortune, and escaping to Sweden and France.
Poetess Carole Oliphant penned the sad ode to Bonnie Prince Charlie:
Will Ye No Come Back Again?
Bonnie Charlie’s now awa’
Safely owre the friendly main;
Mony a heart will break in twa,
Should he no’ come back again.
Chorus:
Will ye no come back again?
Will ye no come back again?
Better lo’ed ye canna be,
Will ye no come back again?
Ye trusted in your Hieland men,
They trusted you, dear Charlie;
They kent you hiding in the glen.
Your cleadin’ was but barely.
Chorus:
We watched you in the gloamin’ hour,
We watched thee in the mornin’ grey;
Tho’ thirty thousand pounds they’d gie,
Oh, there was nane that wad betray.
Chorus:
Mony a traitor ‘mange the isles
Brak the band o’ nature’s laws;
Mony a traitor wi’ his wiles,
Sought to wear his life awa’.
Chorus:
Many a gallant sodger gaught,
Mony a gallant chief did fa,
Death itself were dearly bought,
A’ for Scotland’s king and law.
Chorus:
Whene’er I hear the blackbird sing,
Unto the evening sinking down,
Or merl that makes the wood to ring,
To me they hae nae other sound.
Chorus:
Sweet the lav’rock’s note and lang,
Lilting wildly up the glen;
and aye the o’erworld o’ he sang,
‘Will he no’ come back again?”
Of course, there was a weak elephant pun in the article also.
Under leadership of Raymond Austin Memphis Tennessee Joshua Austin Vicksburg Miss Charles Kinchelow Indianapolis Indiana and bioligical family members Georgia Denton Frances Taylor and Dan Taylor Jr Lorraine Taylor Ronald Glenn Taylor Gwendolyn Regina Taylor Milton Owens Trudine Taylor. More than a 200 members of the family involved with crimes including racketeering conspiracy, RICO Conspiracies, murder conspiracy and attempted murder. In one scheme, the family — a Racial Biased Hate Motivated Organized Group Gang Members —conspiracy to participate in the affairs of a racketeering enterprise (RICO conspiracy), in violation of Title 18, United States Code, Section 1962.
>The family notorious for violent crimes to African Americans and other races that controls women and benefit from fraud crimes. The family and its associates engage in a variety of crime in order to maintain their presence in the criminal world, including murder, assault, kidnapping, extortion, bank fraud, Underwater Mortgage Fraud scheme scam. Raymond Austin and Joshua Austin and children Sheila Austin Darlena Austin Campbell Charles Austin , Marcus Payne and Girlfriends Charles Kinchelow Jr and III, Liz, Shea and a member of Gayhawks Motorcycle Club, Ira Morgan, Fredrick Stuart, Elaine Stuart Peggy Nickelberry Glenn Harper and two son’s, Sheila Harper, Vera Harper Willie Braddock Jr Dave Wilburn Lillie Bell Chatman Denitra Chatman, Barbara Presley, Mary Dean, Robbie Moore, Vanessa Chatman Brandon Tasha Presley Frenchie Louellen Shereta Louellen Kyle Louellen, Charles Kinchelow III Jamberlyn Voss Anthony McGhee Darlena Austin Claude Smith III Charles Kinchelow Jr, Trina Johnson, Louise Turner Cato, Mary Dean, Shebaby Kinchelow alias first name, Dee Chatman, Denitra Chatman, Jessica Chatman, Charles Austin, Jesse Chatman, Georgia Denton, Demetria Denton, Jeremiah Denton, Detreisse Denton, Tosha Jones, Ann Jones, Tony Turner, Tony Jones, Terri Little, Tereny Little and several other Racist Extremist Supremacist Group Gang Members.
Rival gangs MS-13; Gangster Disciples
I want one of those!
“But to hear those guys talk, it’s like five blind men trying to describe an Oliphant
Must be an inside joke.
Perhaps a reference to this guy: http://faculty.wts.edu/faculty/oliphint/.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.