Pope Francis Says Women Can Have Abortions During Year Of Mercy, MSNBC Reports [Satire]

MSNBC ^ | 9/1/15

[markomalley]

Pope Francis announced Tuesday that he will allow Roman Catholic women to have as many abortions as they want during the upcoming Holy Year of Mercy, MSNBC is reporting.

According to MSNBC, Francis said that he will allow women the “discretion to absolve themselves of the venial sin of abortion if they had already procured one and had a contrite heart.” They also went on to report that Francis urged women who were wanting to procure an abortion to wait until the beginning of the Year of Mercy beginning December 8 so that they would “not need a contrite heart at all.”

The MSNBC reporter told EOTT this afternoon that Pope Francis announced that the holy year was a way to promote inclusiveness no matter what the cost, saying that the Church could finally “make more evident its mission to be Episcopalian.”

The Holy Father also reportedly implored priests who offered forgiveness for abortion to “stop wasting their time, and to enjoy a year off from hearing confessions, as the Year of Mercy would be “so freaking abundant in mercy” that nothing could possibly separate the people of God from his love.”

[markomalley]

BTW, the PMSNBC article that this satire is based off of is here:

link.

(Please note that NBC has hence corrected the headline to be a little less ludicrous)

[zzwhale]

Nonsense
This “pope” is evil

[Charles Martel]

Venial? Well, heck - I wonder what else is covered by a quick Act of Contrition these days?

[Montana_Sam]

This “pope” is evil

The Pope is not evil. He has misspoken several times, and has been misreported/misinterpreted numerous times. We were spoiled by the careful words and statements of his immediate predecessors, both of whom survived the twin crucibles of Nazism and Communism. Both St. PJPII and Pope BXVI were fastidious in their language as they had seen how cunning and clever and murderous are the enemies of the Church.

Instead of condemning Pope Francis, let us pray for him.

[DungeonMaster]

Infallible.

[Thorliveshere]

Not really funny.

[yongin]

sadly many christians are ignorant of their own faith. they may buy the msnbc headline. the media has zero understanding of religion. only god forgives sin.

[mlizzy]

Satire is so hard to pull off, period, but when it has to do with abortion, I think it pretty much always fails, except for maybe that cartoon with Obama beating on the discarded babies in a dumpster outside of PP, he making sure they are all dead.