Posted on 10/17/2014 12:58:09 PM PDT by NYer
Ping!
The most common reason I find for a marriage failing is that one or both stop valuing the family over themselves.
Nicely put!
Somewhat in line with what Msgr. Pope is saying, I think a key error occurs when spouses view their family as a vehicle to satisfy their personal desires, rather than as an institution that has an existence of its own, greater than either of them individually, greater than both of them together.
One of my college professors, a Korean, talked about his family as a boat moving through time. He and his wife and children were among the current passengers/crew, but the “family boat” had a past, present, and future bigger than all the current passengers.
I’ve tried to cultivate in my own family the attitude that we all have to serve the organization, crew the boat, to some extent. We are not only the crew of the family boat, but that’s part of the life vocation for every family member, and it has to be taken seriously. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask, about a proposed activity or expressed desire, “How does this benefit the family?”
I currently work where husbands and wife make purchases that both of them use equally. Nine times out of ten, when there is a difference of opinion, the husbands will either acquiesce to his wife or if he holds firm the wife will return the product or part of it. Feminism has turned the home's chain-of-command on its head. Men and women both have been propagandized to accept that biblical patriarchy is some form of injustice. 75% - 90% of divorces depending on which source is referenced, are filed and instigated by the woman. Feminism has made its goal the destruction of patriarchy by means of the elimination of marriage. Women have been taught that they are victims, they have been encouraged to complain and be discontent. Both Husband and wife have been inculcated to view love and lust as the proper context for sex rather than marriage for the proper context for sex. Wives have been instructed and encouraged by the clergy to withhold sex until her husband does something or other.
There has never been a greater threat to families - Feminism is thy name!
What is the product?
The reason for the failure of most marriages is in a word: Feminism. —
I believe it is money-
tied to Soooo many mothers- (started in the 40’s/50’s)
moving into the work force— HEY that EXTRA cash really
Helps!!- to Hell with raising the children, to Hell
with making a home, to hell with my husband.—
Come to think about it... to hell we all go
Feminism has taught women they don’t need men in a family.
Pray America wakes
This is a good reminder: “Two sinners have married.”
Cynics don’t know what to do with that info. But followers of Christ can humbly reflect on that truth, to the benefit of their marriages.
Love is an affirmative act, it does not just happen.
We SPEAK Love into existence just as God spoke light into existence.
“Being unequally yoked with a non-believer” is a major problem as well.
Five love languages, great book, secret to a happy marriage. Its about meeting each others needs, sure you can delude yourself that religion can make you a better spouse but our base nature is to have our needs met, how we are wired.
As an aside this type of thinking, the self flagellation, to impugn yourself is just as corrosive as “sinning”. We are not BORN sinners, we sin as an conscious act of rebellion. This is bad theology a construct of the nan made religion. A dog is born to bark, a bird to fly, a dolphin to swim. We are not born to murder, steal and cheat on our wives. We are born perfect, not corrupted or flawed. We CHOOSE to act one way or another. Adam ran and hid in the garden not because he was disgusting in God’s eyes but because he PERCIEVED himself as disgusting. A distinction with a difference.
Ah, that explains it. A mattress is a female mat, and a man needs only a mat.
(OK, it sounded funny when I first thought of it.)
LOL I actually got it.
Speaking from personal experience here.
We were on the brink. We went to counseling. One of the exercises was to write out the top five things that you valued in your marriage—what you were willing to work for.
We did them apart and brought them to the next meeting.
All five were the same. We had the order of #4 and #5 switched.
I got goose bumps and teary eyes. The counselor said that the score was usually three out of five. Almost never five for five.
After that moment everything started getting better.
We get so busy and drawn apart. The grass starts looking better EVERYWHERE else. But, I doubt I was ever going to find anyone who could give me, or me them, 5 out of 5.
And tomorrow is 28 years for us.
I used to say 28 years, 25 of the best years of my life.
But that is a lie. Even in the bad ones I learned important lessons. And, boy...I don’t want to learn them again!
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