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Why Do Marriages Fail? Here’s One Often-Overlooked Root
Archdiocese of Washington ^ | October 16, 2014 | Msgr. Charles Pope

Posted on 10/17/2014 12:58:09 PM PDT by NYer

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To: PapaBear3625

ewwwwwwwwwww

What you are talking about is sex for sex, which somehow makes the guy feel “happy”, whether or not it makes the wife feel “happy”. So, he gets what he wants, what about her?

It’s about building a family, not at anyone’s expense, but to the benefit of the members.

Do you really want sex if your wife doesn’t? Do you really want to have her tolerate your advances? Wouldn’t you rather have your wife indicate when she would welcome your advances? Or does your wife’s true consent not matter? Do you think because you married her she consented to be available 24/7 for sex? Because if that is what you thought, I bet you a million to one that is not what she thought.


61 posted on 10/18/2014 12:56:12 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: yldstrk
What you are talking about is sex for sex, which somehow makes the guy feel “happy”, whether or not it makes the wife feel “happy”. So, he gets what he wants, what about her?

You didn't read the whole passage. Particularly the part about "In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife".

Marriage is about each belonging to the other, with obligations to make an effort to keep the other happy. It's not all one way, in either direction.

The wife making her best effort to keep the husband happy gives her the right to expect reciprocal treatment. Refusal means she loses any rights to any expectations.

In current society, even as "liberated" and "equal" as it purports to be, the man is under the primary obligation to ensure that the family is provided for, even if that means the job he has to work is stressful, unrewarding, dangerous, or injurious to his long-term health. That's how it is, and men accept that.

If a woman came to you and said "My husband decided that his job as a hedge fund manager was too stressful, and has decided to make a go of it with a small rock band. This means we can't afford the mortgage on our house any more and would need to move to an apartment", would you tell her "Well it's his life, and his decision, deal with it", or would you start filling out her divorce papers for her?

62 posted on 10/18/2014 2:56:31 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: PapaBear3625

Nope, I always tell them their obligations to the marriage. We don’t file a lot of cases, but we do defend them.

Don’t assume you know my mind.

I do find the men have a huge emphasis on their own “needs” based on some garbage they have seen on the internet or TV. It is the husband’s refusal to keep the wife happy that is the cause of lots of problems, husband’s tight fist on the money, husband’s drinking, husband’s drugging, husband’s hitting, husband’s obsession with work interfering with the ability to pay attention to the kids or be nice to the wife, husband’s tendency to take opportunities to “get it on” with women or peruse porn when out of town. So you end up with husbands demanding “submission” (Protestant and Moslem) when the husband is not following God.

Luckily the Catholics don’t have this sick obsession with “submission”, although you do have Catholics who are poking their anatomy where it doesn’t belong.

And yes, sometimes it is the women who are acting like sluts, but for the most part, it is the men.


63 posted on 10/18/2014 4:00:07 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Tax-chick

Good point.

I also have a problem with the anchor. I understand it should be up, but the Apostles should rather be holding the net. As it is, it looks like they’re fishing with an anchor.

However, this is not a popular icon. I’ve only seen a few.


64 posted on 10/18/2014 5:24:54 PM PDT by annalex (fear them not)
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To: NYer

Selfishness is a huge reason marriages fail. When someone always puts their wants and needs first instead of their husband or wife.


65 posted on 10/18/2014 6:06:33 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: annalex

The four guys on the lower right have lines in their hands. Maybe those hold the net or fishhooks.

There are an awful lot of figures and symbols crowded into one picture. It doesn’t really work artistically.


66 posted on 10/19/2014 3:12:11 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Feeling fine about the end of the world!)
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To: taxcontrol

Easily summed up in the fact that ‘you can never make another person do what they are supposed to do’, and that is clearly seen in divorces where infidelity, laziness, financial ruin and just plain selfishness is obvious.


67 posted on 10/19/2014 3:16:42 AM PDT by Kackikat (Two wrongs do NOT make a right.... unless you are a Democrat!)
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To: DaveyB

Clearly said by a man. Feminism contributes to many divorces, but a lying cheating husband is also a problem.


68 posted on 10/19/2014 3:18:09 AM PDT by Kackikat (Two wrongs do NOT make a right.... unless you are a Democrat!)
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To: yldstrk
Do you really want sex if your wife doesn’t? Do you really want to have her tolerate your advances? Wouldn’t you rather have your wife indicate when she would welcome your advances? Or does your wife’s true consent not matter?

There's "I'm horny too" sex, and there's "I love you and want to make you happy even though I'm not personally in the mood sex".

The first kind is better and preferred over the second kind.

The second kind is preferred over "no sex this week".

69 posted on 10/19/2014 7:25:00 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: Tax-chick

These fishing lines don’t “read” because of the sail and mast lines above. He should have shown a net, which has a unique and recognizable shape, and there is no need for the anchor whatsoever.


70 posted on 10/19/2014 12:28:05 PM PDT by annalex (fear them not)
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To: annalex

The anchor looks more like a grappling hook, too. It’s not nearly big enough to serve as an actual anchor, which (in the historical context) would probably have been a big rock.

Mary looks like she’s telling Jesus where to steer. Having trained four teenage drivers, I sympathize. “Slow down now. Now, not later! Use your turn signal, already!”


71 posted on 10/19/2014 12:54:11 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Feeling fine about the end of the world!)
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