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Magic Underwear & Magic Food
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1340878 ^ | July 31, 2014

Posted on 07/31/2014 11:11:43 AM PDT by greyfoxx39

Mormons have some really weird beliefs. For example, many (all) Mormons believe they (males only) can take a cooking/salad oil, pour just a small drop on the crown of your head and their god will heal them of almost anything.

Mormons believe that by wearing ugly underwear bought from a specific company, their god will protect them from harm.

Mormons believe that by wearing a really weird looking costume they are taught secret ways to touch angels so after they die, the angels will let Mormons get into heaven quicker.

Mormons believe their god requires women to not wear outer clothing that covers their crotch (pants) to worship their god in a large and spacious room (chapel).

Mormons believe that a little torn piece of bread and a small sip of water that has been chanted over and then swallowed will require their god to forgive them for their sins.

Mormons believe by consuming certain foods and wearing funny looking clothes god loves them more than the rest of the humans.

It is the same with all parents. We love our children more or less depending upon how ugly their clothes are and how they consume small bits of food items.

The Mormon god must have a sense of humor watching his "SPECIAl" children called Mormons think this makes god love them the most.


TOPICS: Catholic; Charismatic Christian; Evangelical Christian; General Discusssion; Mainline Protestant; Other Christian; Religion & Culture; Theology
KEYWORDS: bigotry; inman; lds; mormon; nonchristian
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To: Ben Mugged
Why the anger?

You wrote:

"My absence of any adherence to an organized religion gives me unique insight into bigotry."

Why the anger and bigotry, and the blatant hypocrisy?

This is all a liberal way of argumentation. It is absurd and just as easily turned on the originator, who, apparently, does not blush about condemning the practice when it is used on him.

121 posted on 07/31/2014 3:48:30 PM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans (I mostly come out at night... mostly.)
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To: greyfoxx39

Oh good grief, please don’t pretend you were offering religious debate.


122 posted on 07/31/2014 3:49:34 PM PDT by workerbee (The President of the United States is PUBLIC ENEMY #1)
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To: workerbee
Oh good grief, please don’t pretend you were offering religious debate.

Must a thread be dedicated to "debate"? It is just as valid to discuss anything of a religious nature, whether it is the goofy teachings of the LDS, or something else. There is no rule that it has to be fair and respectful to every religion. Furthermore, FR is not a LDS forum. It is a Pro-God, Pro-Judeo-Christian forum. Mormons fall outside of this due to their heterodox positions, such as polytheism.

123 posted on 07/31/2014 3:51:34 PM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans (I mostly come out at night... mostly.)
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To: Ben Mugged

There should be a special forum for bigots.


Really. These monotheist, rehashed, and restored cultists don’t belong on a humor forum......


124 posted on 07/31/2014 3:52:53 PM PDT by S.O.S121.500 (Had ENOUGH Yet ? ........................ Enforce the Bill of Rights ......... It's the LAW !!!)
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans

This is getting boring. I’m a Catholic who reads the King James Bible because it has a high literary value. The Catholic bible is not as beautiful. I don’t worry about Mitt Romney’s status with God and that makes me evil, I quite understand. Joseph Smith was a nasty guy and so that makes everybody who comes after him a nasty guy. Yada, yada, yada, I get it.

I will give you one Mormon I can’t stand and maybe you guys can do something about her: Marie Osmond. If I see one more of her Nutrisystem commercials, I’m gonna start sending HER Bible passages.


125 posted on 07/31/2014 3:53:24 PM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: greyfoxx39

Sounds like I’m getting close to getting one of the mods after me...


126 posted on 07/31/2014 3:54:10 PM PDT by miss marmelstein (Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: miss marmelstein

LOL!


127 posted on 07/31/2014 3:54:23 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine
How many Mormons will admit that they believe this stuff? It mattereth not; as we can POST facts from their own chosen religious organization's voluminous data banks that PROVE it.
128 posted on 07/31/2014 3:55:20 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: blackdog
Faith in a peaceful god is a good thing, even if wrong, half right, confused, or just plain old goofy.

For now...

But the WRONGNESS will come back to bite a person quite severely when the JUDGMENT comes...

129 posted on 07/31/2014 3:56:52 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Ben Mugged
There should be a special forum for bigots.

They have one once a year in SLC: General Conference.

130 posted on 07/31/2014 3:57:38 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: miss marmelstein
Joseph Smith was a nasty guy and so that makes everybody who comes after him a nasty guy. Yada, yada, yada, I get it.

This is a false and hateful accusation. I never claimed that individuals, that is, Mormons themselves, are all "nasty". Their religion is nasty, certainly. You need to distinguish between the two and stop making ugly accusations like this.

I don’t worry about Mitt Romney’s status with God and that makes me evil, I quite understand.

Technically, everyone is evil from God's point of view, since everyone has fallen short of the glory of God. What this tells me for you, however, is that you do not possess the Holy Spirit, since you have no zeal for the lost.

Atheists and all the world insist that conversion must consist of "love" and "kindness" because this is a vanity for them. They feel good by doing these acts, even though, according to God, mere works will never save anyone. Paradoxically, they rain all manner of ugly insults and threats onto Christians who stand up for something, that is, an absolute, either white or black, truth, and a truth that demands something more than mere vanity from its followers.

To be a Christian, you must set aside vanity and seek the Lord only.

131 posted on 07/31/2014 3:59:20 PM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans (I mostly come out at night... mostly.)
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans
Mormons use the KJV, however.

..Oh Oh...only "as far as it is translated correctly"..

Articles of Faith

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul-We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

132 posted on 07/31/2014 3:59:34 PM PDT by greyfoxx39 (Valerie Jarrett warned us they would "get even with those who opposed them"..)
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To: 4everontheRight
When Mormans fly planes into buildings, then I will worry about what they believe

When the GOD of the Bible fails to let them into Heaven; THEN what will you do?

Heck; the MORMON god won't even 'allow' but about 15% or so of the Mormon's into His presence in Heaven!

133 posted on 07/31/2014 3:59:40 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Dilbert San Diego
All religions have beliefs and rituals such we could all make fun of.

Yup.

But it AIN'T gonna be very 'funny' at the END!

134 posted on 07/31/2014 4:00:31 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Elsie

A here on earth heart felt “Agreed”. That comes down to personal decisions between one and God. The discussion of that outcome as such arrives at another day and time.


135 posted on 07/31/2014 4:02:11 PM PDT by blackdog (There is no such thing as healing, only a balance between destructive and constructive forces.)
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To: dirtymac
I am not Mormon but why do you care what they believe?

Some of us here care about men's souls; and their eternal destinations.


The guys that wrote the BIUBLE seemed to have this strange affliction as well...


 
 
 
 
Romans 15:4
 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
 
 
Romans 16:17
   I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.
 
 
1 Corinthians 4:17
   For this reason I am sending to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.
 
 
1 Corinthians 11:2
 2.  I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings,  just as I passed them on to you.
 
 
Ephesians 4:14-15
 14.  Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.
 15.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
 
 
2 Thessalonians 2:15
   So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings  we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.
 
 
2 Thessalonians 3:6
  In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching  you received from us.
 
 
1 Timothy 1:3-4
 3.  As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain men not to teach false doctrines any longer
 4.  nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. These promote controversies rather than God's work--which is by faith.
 
 
1 Timothy 1:7
  They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.
 
 
1 Timothy 2:7
   And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle--I am telling the truth, I am not lying--and a teacher of the true faith to the Gentiles.
 
 
1 Timothy 4:1-2
 1.  The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.
 2.  Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
 
 
1 Timothy 4:6
   If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed.
 
 
1 Timothy 4:11
  Command and teach these things.
 
 
1 Timothy 6:3-5
 3.  If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching,
 4.  he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 
 5.  and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.
 
 
2 Timothy 1:13
  What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.
 
 
 2 Timothy 2:15-17
 15.  Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
 16.  Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.
 17.  Their teaching will spread like gangrene.
 
 
2 Timothy 3:16-17
 16.  All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
 17.  so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
 
 
 2 Timothy 4:3-4
  3.  For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
  4.  They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.
 
 
Titus 1:11
   They must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach--and that for the sake of dishonest gain.
 
 
Titus 2:1
  You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.
 
 
Titus 2:15
  These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.
 
 
 Hebrews 13:9
 Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings.
 
 
 2 Peter 2:1-3
 1.  But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them--bringing swift destruction on themselves.
 2.  Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute.
 3.  In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.
 
 
2 John 1:10
  If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him.



136 posted on 07/31/2014 4:02:52 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Trapped Behind Enemy Lines
I suppose we could find faults with all religions including our own from time to time.

Do you find fault with Catholic teaching about Mormonism?

137 posted on 07/31/2014 4:03:39 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Tilted Irish Kilt
In the many years I was an active mormon, I had never heard of any of those exagerations

Hold on; for you will NOW!

138 posted on 07/31/2014 4:04:17 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Reddy

Sure a LOT of folks in this thread that seem to have NO idea what Christianity is about!


139 posted on 07/31/2014 4:05:05 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: BeauBo

Yup; your second sentence shows how good, patritotic Americans (well; except for the FOREIGN Mormons) are.

Unfortunately; none of those things has any bearing at all on the GOD of Heavens requirements.


140 posted on 07/31/2014 4:06:41 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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