Posted on 06/14/2013 3:34:50 PM PDT by NYer
My oldest girl just entered her teens, so I still have some time. However, lately I have been giving some thought to my requirements, yes requirements, for any young man that may one day seek her hand. It is never too soon to start planning.
He must be Catholic. Period. Now I know that for many CINOs or C & E Catholics, intermarriage is no big deal. It is a big deal. The key to a successful marriage, which I define as a mutually supportive relationship that will assist the spouses and their children reaching heaven, is to have agreement on the fundamentals. To be a Catholic in today's world is increasingly counter-cultural. Unless both spouses are on-board with what the Church teaches and its authority, you can expect nothing but strife. Any young man that seeks my daughter's hand must be a Catholic through and through. How can you tell? The following rules assist with that.
He must attend mass every Sunday of his own accord. As an independent young man, he must attend mass every Sunday of his own accord. It is one thing for a young man living with his parents to attend mass because they require it. ('cause that is what good parents do) But the real test of his commitment to his faith is whether he attends mass every Sunday and holy day of his own volition. If he knows enough to accept his need and responsibility to attend mass, that is a very good sign in my book. If he doesn't, he is not the right man for my daughter.
He must pray. Now I don't expect to know the details of his prayer life, but I think you can tell when somebody is prayerful by how they are when involved in a public prayer setting.
(Excerpt) Read more at ncregister.com ...
What if its nascar season and nationwide is a saturday night race sunday is indy and the 600
QUESTIONS FOR FATHERS TO ASK POTENTIAL SONS-IN-LAW
These questions may be handled between father-in-law and son-in-law together; they may be answered orally or in written form; they may form the basis of regular "discipling"during the engagement period of the daughter This is not a test; it gives an opportunity to know one another. Some questions may be asterisked as important; other questions may be checked off not to be answered. Please note the questions are not in the order of importance, you know how you raised your daughter, therefore you will need to prioritize the importance of each question.
1. Who are the three most important people in your life, besides the Lord Christ Jesus?
2. What are the two most important things in life?
3. What is the one thing you wish to do with your life?
4. What is your policy on borrowing/owing money/credit card usage?
5. Are you a virgin?
6. Have you ever had an homosexual experience? At what age? Multiple times?
7. Have you ever been married/divorced?
8. Do you know that you have been converted to Christ? Under what circumstances? At what age?
9. What kind of music do you prefer to listen to?
10. Will you raise your children to know the Lord Christ Jesus and to attend Sunday school and church?
11. Will you tithe your income consistently to the Lord?
12. Under what circumstances might you feel right in divorcing my daughter/your wife?
13. What church are you now attending regularly? Are you a member of that church?
14. What Christian service have you performed through or outside of your church? Do you witness for Christ?
15. Will you ask my daughter to share her insights in major events/decisions you will face? Is your sexuality under and submitted to Christ's Lordship? Do you have a habit of touching women on the back or shoulder?
16. To whom do you turn for counsel and advice?
17. What would you like to change in your parents?
18. Are you on good terms with your brothers and sisters?
19. Have you ever possessed or used illegal drugs?
20. Have you ever used a ouija board?
21. Who do you believe is the more spiritual, my daughter or yourself?
22. Do you now have, or have ever had, a sexually transmitted disease?
23. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what was the charge?
24. Have you been baptized by immersion? At what age? How long after your conversion?
25. Are you willing to spend one year in a bible college?
26. Do you believe in the Lord's pre-tribulation, pre-millennial rapture of the church?
27. What is your pastor's name?
28. What version of the bible do you habitually use?
29. Are both your parents believers? If not, which is?
30. Are both parents college-trained? If not, which one is?
31. Are you a reader? What kind of literature do you read?
32. Are you a "couch potato"? What tv programs do you watch regularly?
33. Do you enjoy dating in a group as well as one-to-one?
34. Do you and my daughter both enjoy sharing Bible insights and do you pray together often?
35. Do you enjoy being in our daughter's house when her mother and I are present?
36. Do you prefer soap operas or sitcoms on tv more than you do other types of programming? Why?
37. Who is your favorite uncle or aunt, and why?
38. Do you enjoy having your siblings' children, your nieces/nephews around if they have any?
39. Are you upset when your plans for an evening or outing are disrupted or changed by others?
40. Would you be willing to give your personal testimony in a men's shelter or a men's bible study?
41. Have you had the joy of leading a friend or neighbor to Christ?
42. Approximately how many bible verses do you know by Heart? Have you ever been enrolled in a bible memory system?
43. When do you experience being most impatient?
44. Are you overweight by more than 20 lbs?
45. How long have you lived at your present residence?
46. Are any of your relatives missionaries? Or have been?
47. If you worry, what are you most worried about?
48. Do you believe that you can lose your salvation?
49. What do you enjoy most about Sunday school, about the your church's Sunday service?
50. Does singing hymns, songs, or choruses give you pleasure?
51. How far are you in your education? What majors?
52. How are you going to support your family?
53. Have you ever looked at pornography, if so are you going to expect my daughter to compete with those woman?
54. Do you understand the importance of Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it"?
55.How do you feel about your wife, my daughter, staying home and home schooling your children?
56. Are you willing and able to live on just your income?
57. How many children would you like to have?
58. In the event of a financial melt down, do you have a marketable trade? Can you do simple electrical, plumbing and carpentry repairs around your home? Do you have basic tools to do those repairs?
59. Do you enjoy home cooked from scratch meals?
60. Do you believe in spanking? Are you willing to be the chief disciplinarian in your family?
Now I have some questions for you fathers and mothers, are you raising your son so as to be able to answer the above questions in a manner that you would want a potential son in law to answer them concerning your daughter? Are you raising your daughter to be worthy of a man who can answer those questions to your liking?
Are you raising your son to understand and fulfill Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it"?
Are you raising your daughters to be worthy of man that does understand Ephesians 5:25 and is willing to commit to it? Are you raising your daughter to understand and abide by Ephesians 5: 22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Are you raising your daughter to be a Proverbs 31 wife or a wife of this world?
I feel sorry for your kids.
#7 is the key:
“”He needs to be open to children. If I ever hear the young man disparage or question the idea of a large family, my daughter needs to choose someone else. Openness to life and the willingness to accept each and every child as a gift from God and a blessing in life is one of the true signs of a proper relationship with God. Anyone who sees children in financial terms or as a burden does not have the respect for God’s greatest blessing. To me, it shows me a person oriented to the world and not to heaven. Each and every child is a blessing. Openness to life is a must.””
The reality is that men should wait until they are near 40 to get married. The woman he marries should be in her late teens or early 20’s. A guy in his 20’s cannot support a family in this world of low salaries, low opportunities and high taxes. Even if you make all the right moves the money comes MUCh later now.
I perceive that the author is REAL YOUNG. Additional cynical comments redacted.
With the first requirement he lost me. Not “a Christian” but “Catholic.” OK, dude.
I agree. When you have nothing else, when even your oath wouldn’t hold you, you have your baby.
Amen to that! and it doesn't matter to which denomination/religion one belongs.
the author may be in for a rude awakening...or not. If not, nope he's not the kind to take all the credit. He will just be immensely blessed. Many before the author have had the same thought and prayer...and have had their girls end up differently than hoped.
My first thought to this article was, "HA! good luck with that!" We do our best as Christian parents...we pray for our kids daily....and, at the end of the day, we realize God gave us kids with their OWN ideas. kind of what it's all about, eh? God didn't want robots....so He gave us free will.
My only rule for marrying your daughter: Full disclosure of all her financial assets including stock portfolio.......
Your view of the world is immature and naive. Let us know how your demands go.
This has to be HER list, not yours.
Common sense is wasted on the obtuse.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
You wouldn’t have been considered anyway, thus your loss is in fact no loss.
No doubt.
it’ll be interesting to see if said daughter has a list even remotely like dad’s in a few years.
On the first date, tell him to “have my daughter back by a decent hour, because if you don’t, I don’t have any problem with going back to prison.”
I'm surprised this hasn't surfaced earlier. Classic, but in need of a little updating.
10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Saigon. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
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