Posted on 07/02/2002 9:12:09 AM PDT by Stand Watch Listen
I was wandering through my local supermarket the other monrning when I noticed a young woman checking the dates on some bread. In the seat of her shopping cart was her young son, who I reckoned to be about 5 and whose name I quickly learned was Brian.
There is a reason I have not forgotten his name.
It seems young Brian had become bored and was demanding that his mother take him back to the toy aisle. I only know this because Brian started screaming the word "Toyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," the way a World Cup announcer might call a game-winning goal.
When Brian's lungs finally ran out of wind, his mother did not even look at him, instead seizing on the silence to counter with "Lower your voice, Brian," in a whining, un-authoritative whimper.
Unimpressed with his mother's instruction, Brian began screaming again, this time throwing a box of cookies out of the cart.
Amazingly, although the box of cookies landed near her, Brian's mother still did not look at her son and simply repeated her simpering plea to "Lower your voice, Brian" while the boy's face turned purple.
As his mother continued to browse without looking at him, Brian lobbed another item out of the cart. I wasn't quite sure what it was until I heard the sound of breaking glass and noticed a thin spatter of Ragu spaghetti sauce all over my pants. Slack-jawed, I simply stared back and forth between Brian and my pants.
Brian had finally gotten his mother's attention, and I watched as she followed the trail from the floor to me. There was then a brief moment of satisfaction for me, presuming I would now have the pleasure of watching this little miscreant get it - but good.
Brian's mother grabbed the cart and said, "Do we need to have a time-out?" and began to push it down the aisle. The End. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Brian continued screaming and even managed to push some bread off the shelves as they strolled away; Brian's mother never said a word to me.
This sort of behavior - by mother and son - is indicative of the continued trends in child rearing and discipline. Just last week, the American Psychological Association's Elizabeth Gershoff reported the findings of her study, which indicates parents should never spank their children, as it could lead to anti-social or belligerent behavior later in life.
Gershoff recommends that parents who are considering spanking a deserving kid "think of something else to do - leave the room, count to 10, and come back again."
She claimed to have found links between spanking and negative behaviors, although she admits that one positive result of spanking is that children usually stop the behavior in question almost immediately.
Certainly, no one in their right mind wants to condone any sort of parental abuse of children. Nonetheless, as is usual in the utopian, politically correct world of academia, theory bends and distorts reality; reality is not what we experience, it is what these academicians tell us we are supposed to experience.
In some European countries spanking has been deemed an illegal corporal punishment, and the American Academy of Pediatrics supports such legislation.
Such laws are the natural progression of a philosophy that embraces child self-esteem more than learning and discipline. In the wake of this we are left with a young generation filled with glib, smart-mouthed, arrogant little slackers who have as little respect for their elders as they do actual knowledge of the world.
Parents are encouraged by psychologists to allow their children to "discover" the truth on their own, rather than be "limited" by parental authority. Thus, the job of teaching these children right from wrong is often foisted on the rest of society by default.
But spanking or similar forms of mild punishment are often the only way in which parents can establish boundaries with their children. Despite what tinkering psychological theorists tell us, this is not because adults make bad parents.
It is because part of a child's job description is to push the edge of the behavioral envelop and because they're not as bright as we'd like to think; they tend to do dumb things, and get in trouble, which is what growing up is all about.
What kind of idiot would argue that instead of teaching children about the world in advance, including what actions will result in punishment, you should instead stand back and let them "discover" it for themselves?
Frankly, I would prefer a child be spanked for playing with matches than watch as my house burns down because his parents would rather have the consequences discovered .
Even though you and I know that a swat on the rump would have likely prevented the mess Brian made in the bread aisle, we are told to instead concern ourselves with the meaning of that swat and whether it might make Brian anti-social or belligerent 30 years from now.
Whatever it means, it isn't making Brian any less anti-social or belligerent today.
And it won't get the Ragu out of my pants.
Sterling Rome.
Send a Letter to the Editor about this commentary.
I'm not for 'beating' a child - but there are times when the only remedy is warm up the seat of the peoblem...
. . or. . as my Wife would say "The Quickest to The Brain of a Child, is Through Their Backside".
Her argument falls completely apart here. Why didn't Sterling Rome (great name) confront the mother, point out the sauce on his/her pants, and ask that the mother pay for the cleaning. Instead, she/he did exactly as the mother did - she/he simply stood, stared, and said nothing.
The good news is that liberalism is ultimately self-destructive. The bad news is all that damage liberalism does before the collapse.
When that no longer stops them when they are about to get into potentially dangerous or very disruptive behavior, after the first "no!" you get up off your duff and physically remove the infant from wheresoever s/he has gotten into. No coo-cooing or laughing; stonefaced, non-positive re-direction.
When in the course of the next several months (baby now 14-18 months old) there is continuing problems/danger after you go through the drill, a sharp, stinging rap on the back of the hand accompanied by a "No!" will do the following:
--it will gain enduring respect for your "No!"
--it will possibly save your child's life or limb because now you can stom him/her from danger with a word from across the room
--it will make you all a happier family
--it will prevent the kiddo from becoming a brat
--you will only need to smack their hand rarely and essentially never when they get beyond three.
Children who see their parents react to every negative thing they do assume the child can set the agenda. Ignoring the misbehavior allows the parent to communicate to the child that the parent is in control of the relationship and the parent will deal with the situation when the parent is ready to deal with it, not the child.
To some children, no attention is worse than negative attention. Ignoring Brian is its own form of punishment.
Secondly, the mother and child were in a public setting and it's not uncommon for some liberal do-gooder to report to CPS a woman using physical discipline against her child. She may have been restraining her anger until such time as she and Brian were out of sight. Once alone (home or possibly a bathroom stall) Brian will get "delayed justice".
Just because the author didn't get the satisfaction of seeing a swift slap to the butt doesn't mean it didn't eventually happen. And discipline, even delayed discipline, is needed for this sort of situation. Otherwise, you'll be raising little Bill Clintons and James Carvilles.
regards
He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
-- Proverbs 13:24
Spanking is the mechanism through which a parent conveys to a child the message that society holds in reserve, a physical response that it is prepared to mete out for certain behaviors. All societies are prepared to apply force under certain conditions. Gershoff's recommendations are self-serving.
Yes, this is true, but my point was why didn't the author of the article confront the mother of the misbehaving child when her pants were splattered with the sauce?
Thanks Dad...you got your point across very firmly.
FMCDH
You got it Orual...the writer is as dumbdowned as the mother.
FMCDH
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