The Liberal Pledge of Allegiance

me | 6/28/02 | me

[mrs9x]

I thought we could have a little fun making pledges that liberals would want. Here are two that I came up with:

I pledge allegiance,
to the rainbow flag,
of the People's Socialist Republic,
and to the hypocrisy,
for which it stands,
one commune,
under Democrats,
with abortions,
and prescription drugs,
for all.

[mrs9x]

Another one for the NAACP:

I pledge allegiance,
to the gang colors,
of the NAACP,
and to the racism,
for which it stands,
one hood,
under Kweisi Mfume,
with welfare benefits,
and slave reparations,
for all.

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

with welfare benefits...

Wait...Speaking as one never receiving a welfare handout...er, benefit, I'm offended.

I demand all welfare to cease at once, so my children don't feel different

:*) Good Post.

[Paul Atreides]

For Dims:

I pledge allegiance,
to the Clintons,
of the Clinton Party of America,
and to the corruption,
for which they stand,
one evil,
under Democrats,
with tyranny,
and socialism,
for all.

[B-Chan]

THE ATHEIST / MATERIALIST / OBJECTIVIST PLEDGE

I pledge allegiance to myself,
the united atoms of Me,
and to the self-awareness* which they support:
one will,
beholden to none but my own desires,
and to hell with the rest of you losers.

* strict materialists, please substitute "illusory self-awareness" here.

[concerned about politics]

I pledge allegiance to myself,

LOL. Thanks. That's so funny.

[mrs9x]

Good one...actually, I was thinking of one for Hillary like this:

I pledge allegiance,
to follow the dictates,
of Emperor Hillary Clinton,
and to the collectivist village,
for which she stands,
one Soviet,
under tyranny,
with national health care,
and abortions on demand,
for all.

[vannrox]

OK. I can't help myself... Pledge of DASH-HOLE; I Pledge to pledge possible allegiance to
what might be possibly the end result
of our combined non-partisan efforts,
in the creation of a unified and socially emphatic genaral organizational sturcture,
that is united and free to act as the people,
Democratilly elected, and verifed as not hanging chad deprived,
United disverse peoples of the globe,
Of which the content in which,
By the grace of men and not god,
Has permitted us to live as all,
FInancially equal, without regard to our color,
Race, sexual orientation, hobbies, deviances, dilliances,
interests, and recreational desires,
SO LONG as we all may TAXES.

[vannrox]

OK. I can't help myself...
Pledge of DASH-HOLE;


I Pledge to pledge possible allegiance to
what might be possibly the end result
of our combined non-partisan efforts,
in the creation of a unified and,
socially emphatic general organizational sturcture,
that is united and free to act as the people,
Democratilly elected,
and verifed as not hanging chad deprived,
United disverse peoples of the globe,
Of which the content in which,
By the grace of men and not any god,
(or diety, or non-socialist personage),
Has permitted us to live as all,
Financially equal, without regard to our color,
(unless we are computed to be a minority)
Race, sexual orientation, hobbies,
deviances, dilliances, our
interests, and recreational desires,
SO LONG as we all may pay our TAXES.

[gitmogrunt]

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of atheistic socialism and to the totalitarian lies,

for which it stands,one nation under culutral

diversity,balkanized and seperate constituent groups for

all.

[Nathan Jr.]

The militant lesbian pledge:

I pledge allegiance
to the leaders
of the National Organization for Women
And to my vagina
which empowers me,
one sisterhood
encompassing all sexual orientations,
with comfortable shoes
and butch haircuts for all.

[bsaunders]

I pledge allegiace to the flag of the Socialist States of Oceanna, and to the commune for which it stands, one collective, under Big Brother, with telescreens and Soma for all.

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

I pledge allegiance to the Hag
Of the United Hates of America
And to the repugnant (for 'witch' she stands)
Damnation, ungodly, indefensible
With Hillary's pantsuits for all

[BlazingArizona]

I pledge allegiance to the Hammer and Sickle Banner, and to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals for which it stands, forcing us to be one Nation under government, divided by gender, race, class, poiltics, sexual orientation, smoking preference, weight, wastewater usage, and income, with taxation and wacky court decisions for all.

[tsomer]

I generally consent and agree to adhere
that as I reside in this place over here:

that the thing out there that flaps in the breeze
is the symbol of fauna and mountains and trees

that while the buraucrats manage this stuff
I won't make no trouble or give 'em no guff

There's bunches of people with whom I reside
We're all just one family--same color inside

Diverse as we are, we'll all get along
as long as nobody don't do no one wrong

In rational self interest, united are we
in fairness and tolerance and e-quall-i tee!

[NeoCaveman]

The Undecided Voter Pleadge

I pledge, well pledge is kind of a strong word
I'll try to pledge allegiance, well allegiance might be a bit much
To the flag, not like I own one
Of the United States of America, as long as we have coalition support
And to the republic, err democracy, for which it stands
Stands sounds so strident how about wobbles?
One nation, under the diety of your choosing or none see if I care
Indivisable, but subject to being given back to any people with grieveances
With liberty, nah security, and justice meaning more security for all.

[Argh]

Hahaha! It reads like a drunken pledge, pardon the expression.

[Tancred]

Here's one for the male homosexuals (meant to be funny, not to offend)

I pledge allegiance,
to the fag,
of the United Queers
of America,
and to the bath-house,
for which we fornicate,
one nation,
under the penis,
lubricated,
with sodomy and oral sex
for all.

[mrs9x]

Here's a Ted Kennedy pledge of allegiance:

I pledge allegiance,
to the drink,
of myself and the Kennedy clan,
and to the corruption,
for which it stands,
one bimbo,
in each arm,
and myself exempted,
from the law.

[Antoninus]

I pledge allegiance to the f@g
of the United States of Gommorah,
And to my domestic partner
and all his glands,
Two buggers under each other, indivisible,
With feces and gerbils for all.

[0scill8r]

get the t-shirt here:

http://www.cafepress.com/under g