40 Things No Man Over 40 Should Own

bestlifeonline.com ^ | 7/11/2017 | Eric Spitznagel

[rktman]

There’s an old proverb (or maybe it’s just the title of a Broadway play) that reminds us of the universal truth: “You can’t take it with you.” Though they’re talking about life after death, I believe it applies to your 40s, as well. If you’re a man on the cusp of middle age, there’s a long list of things you should be leaving in the past. I’m talking about everything from scooters that would be mistaken for a child’s to wildly age-inappropriate clothing to the single worst haircut any man can have—especially someone at your dignified station in life.

Now, without further ado, here are the 40 things you should probably say goodbye to immediately. And once you’ve cut these things out of your life, be sure to learn the 40 words and phrases no man over 40 should ever say.

[Gay State Conservative]

A Girlfriend Born in the Clinton Years.....Too funny

In one of Monty Python's great "link" skits they had several characters giving their views on new taxes that could be enacted.Michael Palin,dressed up as the dirty,bearded "it's" guy seen at the beginning of each show, said "I'd tax Raquel Welsh...and I have a feeling that she'd tax me".

[ArcadeQuarters]

> They “recommend” a 1795.00 dollar “formal” rain jacket?

I’ll keep my $35 insulated hoodie and the $1,760 difference.

[dfwgator]

A black eye at 40 isn’t so bad as long as the other guy has two. lol

"At the Nudie Bar........Where you can look at a thigh, and blacken an eye at the Nudie Bar!"

[Obadiah]

<font size=4 What about fanny packs? Are fanny packs okay? Because how can you wear a Speedo and flip-flops without a fanny pack?

[dfwgator]

Or Russian. Have to have sunglasses as well if you are Russian.

And be bald.

[beelzepug]

I have a large storage box with several hundred B-ball caps I’ve collected over the years. I have at least fifty I regularly wear kept in my dresser, mostly my collection of Vietnam vet hats.

I love hoodies. I wear New Balance shoes. I own a Road King and a pickup truck. I own a finger that makes short work of discourteous drivers and I always have a 6-pack of Becks in the fridge.

I’m not over 40, I’m over 70! I hope to continue like this until I’m prone in the back of a Cadillac. The fool who made this list can just...Bugger Off! :o)

[atc23]

I’m keeping my Stranglers and James Gang black T shirts - and the gf born in 93.

[dfwgator]

When I travel I usually buy a cap from the city I’m visiting. My personal favorite is the one I picked up in Bratislava, Slovakia.

[Obadiah]

Well said. What these hipster author has yet to grasp at his tender age is that as you reach a certain age you simply do NOT care about the opinion of others as one may have in high school. I keep myself in good physical shape, but I wear what I want (sans effeminate skinny jeans or Speedo).

[glasseye]

I have 5 of these...but I never wear the hoodie...
Hoodie
Flip flops
Jail story...25 years old
Shot glasses
NRA baseball cap

[dfwgator]

I’m keeping my Stranglers and James Gang black T shirts - and the gf born in 93.

"What is this? You're gonna wear THIS to the show? You're gonna wear the shirt of the band you're gonna go see? Don't be that guy"

[beelzepug]

“I had an accident on July 4th...”

I went down pretty hard a couple of years ago - bike is OK but my shoulder still aches. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[atc23]

Nooooo! Absolutely correct.

[mikeus_maximus]

NIce list- especially #1- #4.

[9YearLurker]

AdBlock is your friend.

[Red Badger]

Thanks!
Yes, shoulder still gives pain and ribs at night laying down.

Percocet!

Very little damage to my bike, just cosmetics and a turn signal....................

[atc23]

Any woman worth noticing notices men instead of metrosexual boys. Women like older men who aren’t going through life giving a flip what anyone else thinks. Women like men in Stetsons, straw in summer and felt after Labor Day. I seldom leave the house without my Open Road - even if I’m barefoot and running down to the mail box.

[pgkdan]

Is it true ball caps promote balding?

Nope. Full and thick head of hair and I wear a cap every day if I'm in the sun.

[beelzepug]

“A fedora while shingling?”

My Granddad was a carpenter. He wore a pair of bib overalls and a brimmed felt hat to the job every day of his working life. He’d be 121 now if he was here with us. Still miss him.

[RegulatorCountry]

I’ve got a great old pair of Clarks flip-flops, had them at least 25 years, leather, very comfortable but light. My footprints are very well imprinted into them by now so they fit perfectly. Leather has weathered down sort of burnished, they look great. Still plenty of tread on the soles and if they weren’t I’d go have them resoled. What else am I supposed to wear on my feet on the beach?

These idiotic metrosexuals and neurotic women quite honestly need to turn their critical eye back on themselves. I’m going to keep wearing them. Their opinions carry no weight with me, I’m not wearing them to make a fashion statement, but I guess they have no other context within which to judge, vapid creatures that they are.