Posted on 04/22/2017 1:38:01 PM PDT by sodpoodle
Other benefits President Trump intends to discuss during this evening's prime time address include: California will now be able to act as a sanctuary state within MexiCal noting that there is much more room for the refugees who will find the climate in the State of California more desirable than the climate in US cities such as NYC, Detroit or Chicago.
The elimination of the existing border between Mexico and California will allow drugs to flow more freely between Mexico and the users in Hollywood. Drug tunnel diggers at the Tijuana border will now be able to use their skills to dig tunnels under Los Angeles to help ease congestion in that city and allow rioters to move about the city's universities more freely
The U.S. taxpayer will no longer be on the hook for any future disaster relief required once the next megaquake hits California.
The space in the Capitol and other DC buildings vacated by representatives of California will be fumigated and turned into "time-out rooms" for the press as well as Liberty Centers where US citizens can meet with their congressmen to discuss the pursuit of economic freedom.
Nancy Pelosi released a statement stating that she looks forward to making the Mexican President's life miserable and prefers the year round weather in Mexico City to that of DC. Her office has already announced a schedule of fund raising activities for what is believed to be an upcoming campaign to run for President of MexiCal.
Papers released along with Trump's statement reveal that a newly incorporated real estate company, pmurT, Inc., which was intimately involved in the deal discussions, will receive a broker fee of $25 billion on the California sale. An anonymous pmurT, Inc. representative has revealed that the profits on the deal are HUGE and will be used to purchase, develop and convert all abandoned US Federal facilities in California into special high end retreats and resorts which will assist California residents with managing their euphoria and transition into the nanny state they have so long desired to be.
The exact northern border of the new MexiCal is still under negotiation. Apparently the White House is concerned that certain members of congress may be unwilling to give up California's wine country and are suggesting that the northern boarder align with the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge.
California residents will be issued special blue cards to cross the border into the US so that the total number of California liberals entering the US can be tracked and at any point in time not exceed predetermined levels. Residents that remain in California after the effective date of the sale will not be allowed to seek refugee status in the US in the future.
Mexican President Nieto stated he is thrilled with the deal and is looking forward to declaring Spanish the national language for his newly acquired territory and opening SSL (Spanish as a second language) schools throughout California. He also noted that funding for the transaction would come from the Mexican drug cartels, which have agreed to provide low interest loans to Mexico so long as they are allowed to move their cash out of Switzerland and the Cayman Islands back into Mexico tax free. He also said he considers the fact that a Disney park will now be located within his country an added bonus.
White House representatives refused to confirm rumors that a similar deal was in the works for the sale of Northeastern states from NY through Maine, to Canada.
President Trump wrapped up his statement stating, "this deal is HUGE and while territorially, the U.S. will be smaller, it will help Make America Great Again".
Why not....
Well of course a joke.
Why give up the West Coast? Well not quite. There’s still OR and WA.
You sure you don’t mean China?
Just means we’ll have to build a bigger wall. It will stop mass immigration into Oregon as Californians flee their own devastation.
Mexico is sooooo screwed. They thought that had dumped all those citizens on a country stupid enough to pay for their education, clothing, food, medical care, and even let them vote. As many times as they desired.
Too bad this isn’t true. ‘Twould make an excellent end to the over rated 100 days crap being foisted on us by the uneducated class (e.g. , journalists).
You missed posting on the correct day....should have been on the first
Actually, Nieto would probably call his new state Alta California, BUT I love a good satire anyway.
Oregon and Washington west of the mountains very much should be included. Let Mexico have the whole coast.
I dunno about a “win-win” for everyone, but it sure would be for me !
Can we throw in New Jersey and a set of steak knives ?
We keep the east side of Highway 5.
No, he plans to buy China later..... for a new golf course;)
Breaking News- Brian Williams!
“67 republicans”, when did tha calipublicans double their size?
At least there’s no river to impede the building of the wall there.
Nope CA stays in the U.S.
All the Marxists IN CA including Moonbeam - THEY get sold and shipped to Mexico - we’ll keep sunny Californ-I-A.
Go there every summer for happy days at the beach.
They have to agree to keep all the commies, leftists, queers, cross dressers, dopers and Barbara Streisand or it’s no deal!
Couldn’t we just trade them for a couple of cases of Corona and some corn tortillas? No peso’s required.
We sell toll roads to foreign countries all the time. Why not make every street in California a toll road then sell it.
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