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Dear Christian: Is It Biblical To Waterboard A Terrorist?
Townhall.com ^ | April 17, 2016 | Doug Giles

Posted on 04/17/2016 4:26:01 AM PDT by Kaslin

Waterboarding is finally back in the news thanks to CIA Director John Brennan's recent comments and I, for one, am glad.

I've missed talking about waterboarding much like I've missed discussing who played a better Darrin Stephens in Bewitched. I've always maintained that Dick York kicked Dick Sargent's backside in that role but no one seems to A). Know what I'm talking about; or B). Care what I'm talking about when it came to the near transcendent subtleties showcased in York's acting chops especially when he interfaced with Endora.

Oh, well. What can you do? Most geniuses are usually left to ponder the great things in life alone and such is my lot.

So ... thank God, at least for my sake, that folks have resumed interest in and are currently conversing about water torture for terrorists.

Matter of fact, a Christian radio show host asked me the other day how I could, as a believer, be cool with waterboarding terrorists for intel crucial to our national security—or, as I like to call it, the implementation of The Doug Giles Irrigation for Information Act. Irrigation sounds so much more pleasant than torture, oui? Oui. I told my inquiring host that as a patriotic white, male, Christian redneck, as far as I can deduce from the holy text, Jesus and the balance of Scripture seem to be okay with dunking Achmed if he has the 411 regarding the 10/20 of the next mass slaughter of innocent Americans. Call me crazy. I’m well aware, however, that I could be committing an exegetical error given the fact that I’m white and male and all. This is my cross.

Please note: If Christ wasn’t cool with irrigating irate Islamists for facts, I must admit, I would still have to green light our boys getting data from enemy combatants 007 style. Stick a fire hose up their tailpipe and turn it on full blast. I don’t care. I’m not as holy as most of you super-saints or as evolved as some of you progressive atheists purport to be. Security beats spirituality in this scenario, as far as I’m concerned.

Now, as you can imagine, the holier-than-I show host was a tad bit taken aback by my confidence and giddiness over teaching captured terrorists how to snorkel minus the snorkeling gear if it would keep our country safe. He saw that as somehow incongruent with the Clay Aikenization of the sassy Christ a stack of Americans now worships. He then asked me, in kind of a tsk-tsk tone, for a proof text or two from Jesus’ lips and la Biblia that would come even close to his wishing or implementing ill on those who would harm or kill the innocent. This was like taking candy from a baby for me.

How’s this for starters, Zippy? In John 2:12-17 Jesus whipped religious hacks who were turning God’s temple into a Costco filled with religious crap. According to St. John’s account, it was the second thing Jesus did after John baptized him in the river Jordan. The first thing he did was turn water into wine. That’s two things lame evangelicals can’t imagine Jesus doing: making wine or using a whip, but I digress. Yep, Jesus opened up a can of whup ass on charlatans in the temple. He didn’t pray for them or write them an angry email with the caps lock on or call them “man-made religious disasters” that we need to apologize to for forcing them to sell overpriced spiritual curios. Nope, he methodically sat down, got ticked, made a whip and cleared the punks.

Having that snapshot of Christ violently snapping on the 1st century televangelists in the temple, I’m a thinkin’ that if he got that riled up over overpriced Precious Moments figurines, personally whipped the culprits for it and then ransacked their product display tables, more than likely he would be cool with submerging a couple of murderous morons who have information regarding the pending liquidation of thousands of innocent civilians. (And by the way, I’ll take water in the face over a whip to the back any day of the week.)

If you still think he would have problems with waterboarding the wicked who have the deets on potential terror plots, then what do you do with the story of Noah’s Ark? Correct me if I’m wrong, but those chumps got waterboarded to the max, right? Aw, what’s the matter? Does that 411 not fit with the Jesus you made up? Shame. Not only did Jesus flog greedy religious freaks, he, along with the Father and the Holy Spirit, created this little place called hell for the wicked—which makes Gitmo look like a Chuck E. Cheese. Although, come to think of it, Chuck E. Cheese is quite hellish. Bad analogy. (But you get my point.)

In Matthew 18:6, Jesus said if you harmed a little kid it would be better for you to have a chunk of concrete tied around your neck and tossed into the drink off Miami Beach, compared to what the Trinity has prepared for you in eternity (author’s paraphrase). Sounds bad, eh? Worse than waterboarding? I’m thinking...yeah. And then we have the book of Revelation. Yikes. This book is one chapter after another of agony on steroids for those that war against that which is holy, just and good.

So, once again, I’m kinda thinkin’ Jesus wouldn’t blink at how cautiously and methodically our intelligence gents have been in pouring some Zephyr Hills down Habeeb’s nostrils in the hope that such “torture” will make him spill the beans regarding his posse’s plans.

Y’know, maybe I would be more empathetic toward the terrorists who wish to kill us if I were a Hillary supporter from wussville, but alas, I ain’t. So, I say, in the name of Jesus, stick the terrorists under the water for an extra minute or two if that’ll persuade them to unveil their buddies’ macabre machinations.

Granted, it’s always great and right to err on the side of civility, except, of course, when saving many lives trumps the uncomfortable nature of sticking a garden hose in a terrorist’s snout.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: torture; waterboarding
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To: Kaslin

“So, I say, in the name of Jesus, stick the terrorists under the water”

Let’s leave Jesus’ name out of it. It’s an unpleasant but necessary practice. No reason to play into the hands of Muslim propagandists while we’re at it. Do what needs to be done and move on.


21 posted on 04/17/2016 5:27:38 AM PDT by ameribbean expat
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To: Kaslin

The application of religion to war is misguided. Unless one is committed to war, one is committed to what amounts to self destruction. The point is especially true when the war is waged by one side in the name of God.

The misguided quest for “humane” action is a quest for losing

The question becomes must the war be redirected against those that whine for Humane Principle?


22 posted on 04/17/2016 5:29:12 AM PDT by bert ((K.E.; N.P.; GOPc;+12, 73, ....)
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To: teeman8r

You may be on to something. A water boarding baptism. That ought to terrify the jihadist and drive the left insane... Okay, more insane.


23 posted on 04/17/2016 5:32:37 AM PDT by Dutch Boy
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To: Kaslin

Here is a question that, I think, is more pertinent: Is it Koran-ical to cut off heads, burn or drown people in cages, massacre by suicide bomb IED or other device, etc., etc?

What’s with bringing the Bible into the discussion as a means of clouding the issue, and by introducing false guilt, giving terrorists an edge and an out?

We’re talking National survival here. Since our sworn enemy has taken no extremity off the table in their eternal drive to convert and/or enslave every soul on the planet; we cannot exclude any tool that will aid us in defending ourselves. We will limit ourselves from utilizing outright torture. However, waterboarding is NOT torture.
It’s just effective.


24 posted on 04/17/2016 5:37:06 AM PDT by Tucker39 (Welcome to America! Now speak English; and keep to the right....In driving, in Faith, and politics.)
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To: Kaslin

Dear Muslim: Is it halal to be a terrorist?


25 posted on 04/17/2016 5:38:25 AM PDT by Haiku Guy (If you have a right / To the service I provide / I must be your slave)
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To: Kaslin

I do not care one whit what they do to terrorists.


26 posted on 04/17/2016 5:40:49 AM PDT by onona (Honey this isn't Kindergarten. We are in an all out war for the survival of our Country !)
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To: Kaslin

Yes when you are fighting a just war to protect innocent Christians and others around the world.


27 posted on 04/17/2016 5:41:33 AM PDT by jmaroneps37 (Conservatism is truth. Liberalism is lies.)
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To: Kaslin

Is it Christian to prevent a monster from killing many multiples of innocents? Yes. “Here, ached, have another drink.”


28 posted on 04/17/2016 5:43:16 AM PDT by Sirius Lee (Crump or Lose 2016)
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To: Kaslin
I've always maintained that Dick York kicked Dick Sargent's backside in that role but no one seems to A). Know what I'm talking about; or B). Care what I'm talking about when it came to the near transcendent subtleties showcased in York's acting chops especially when he interfaced with Endora.

Straw man. EVERYone agrees that Dick York is the "real" Darrin. Dick Sargent (for personal reasons) couldn't even act like he was in love with Samantha. Maybe he only married her to keep his job with Larry Tate. Dick York was genuinely flustered, trying to keep a lid on things and somehow continue to head a household constantly pestered by preternatural beings, Dick Sargent was just being a jerk right back, getting in more trouble.
29 posted on 04/17/2016 5:45:01 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("There is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don't care who gets the credit."-R.Reagan)
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To: Tucker39
What’s with bringing the Bible into the discussion as a means of clouding the issue, and by introducing false guilt, giving terrorists an edge and an out?

Indeed. After all, it's not as if the Bible carries any weight in other government-sanctioned and condoned activities like a woman's right to an abortion kill her unborn child.

Why all the hand-wringing over the (ahem) tender sensibilities and tenuous comfort of a terrorist? We call them terrorists because they seek to inflict terror upon others, no? And often to inflict it wholesale. Further, by choosing to be terrorists, they've willingly surrendered their membership in the Fellowship of Man--and all its commensurate rights and privileges.

They are worse than feral humans. They've chosen to be beasts, So, treat them accordingly.

30 posted on 04/17/2016 6:12:45 AM PDT by Two-Shoes (The Second Amendment exists to guarantee & give teeth to the First.)
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To: teeman8r
Waterboard, and don ‘t forget to baptize them....

Perfect solution for the sanctimonious: Christian waterboarding. These bleeding deacons forget that waterboarding does not harm the recipient, it just scares him. And the intel gained may save many lives.

31 posted on 04/17/2016 6:22:36 AM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: Kaslin

I don’t think waterboarding is anything more than psychological manipulation but you can’t justify a thing for men to do based upon acts or attitudes God reserves to Himself. Vengeance is mine and a jealous God etc.


32 posted on 04/17/2016 6:27:47 AM PDT by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job....)
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To: TalBlack

Perhaps you haven’t experienced it first-hand.


33 posted on 04/17/2016 6:30:10 AM PDT by Hugh the Scot ( Total War)
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To: Kaslin

Render unto Caesar that which are Caesars and unto God that which are Gods. Mark 12:17

Terrorist render unto us first. God can have them when we are done.


34 posted on 04/17/2016 6:59:32 AM PDT by dpa5923 (Small minds talk about people, normal minds talk about events, great minds talk about ideas.)
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To: Tax-chick

Does your God warn us to fear Him? Does He threaten us with eternal separation from Him in hell? Is your God one of judgement and righteousness or is He simply sweet and tender? Christ is no pacifist.


35 posted on 04/17/2016 7:21:53 AM PDT by Louis Foxwell (Stop Islam and save the world.)
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To: Tax-chick

Which is worse: waterboarding a known terrorist, or allowing a mass murder to occur?

Jesus was a little tough on the money-lenders


36 posted on 04/17/2016 7:24:23 AM PDT by chesley (The right to protest is not the right to disrupt.)
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To: chesley
Which is worse: waterboarding a known terrorist, or allowing a mass murder to occur?

That is not particularly a moral question, especially given that the hypothetical dichotomy is unlikely to exist in that exact form. "Is waterboarding a very effective way to gain useful or essential information?" must be determined by the prudential judgment of national security professionals. (Given that our national security professionals don't want to be prejudiced by reading potential terrorists' Facebook posts, we might take a jaundiced view of their prudential judgment, but that's another issue.)

Jesus was a little tough on the money-lenders.

He made a "whip of cords," a rope flail of some sort, and swatted at them with it as they scuttled from the Temple premises, leaving their money scattered on the ground. It boggles my mind that any rational person would conclude from that event that Jesus "approves" of torture.

37 posted on 04/17/2016 7:47:49 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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To: Louis Foxwell
Does your God warn us to fear Him?

Yes.

Does He threaten us with eternal separation from Him in hell?

Yes.

Is your God one of judgment and righteousness ...

Yes

... [or](sic) is He simply(sic) sweet and tender?

He is ALSO sweet, tender, and merciful beyond the reach of human comprehension.

Christ is no pacifist.

I agree.

However, none of this agreement is relevant to my point about the article's author. Among other things, he has advocated anal rape for pre-teen boys who were guilty of bullying. I find that much more Moslem than Christian.

38 posted on 04/17/2016 7:53:27 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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To: Kaslin

Everyone wants to think the God of the OT and NT are different or somehow more evolved. Yet Jesus WAS in the OT and Jesus DOES spend alot of time talking about the coming judgment in which HE will carry it out. The covenants may be different (with Jews, with Christians) but the God that told the Israelites to kill an entire group of people (including children) in some wars, and when they came into certain places in Canaan, or who murdered the first born in Egypt is the SAME GOD. Hence there may be times when acts of war are allowed. God himself describes in the bible how he will use a “more evil” nation to exact judgment on a “less evil” nation (e.g. Babylon, Assyria), then punish the former nation. Poetic justice is all through the bible and very scary concept.


39 posted on 04/17/2016 8:00:20 AM PDT by applpie
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To: Kaslin

Is it Christian to tolerate a terrorists that you know would torture and kill you if given the chance.... is it Christian to know that terrorist has information that would save thousands of lives, and not get that information because you are the only nice guy in the room...

I read where some Christians think it’s anti Christian to not take in muslim refugees, house them, feed them, school their children, free medical, and pay them welfare. We have AMERICANS who don’t get that much help or sympathy.

Without vetting every individual that is brought into our country, it’s Christian to be smart enough and wise enough to know there is no way we can have them here. Without vetting every individual, there is no way to know they are not terrorists at heart. To be kind to such an enemy is weak and ignorant.

They are a “religion” that has been taught to kill the infidel. Children as young as 5 are in that mix. Their “religion” is not one of peace, it’s one of total domination. There is no room for Isaac... they believe Ishmael was the chosen one. And Isaac has to be obliterated.


40 posted on 04/17/2016 1:06:44 PM PDT by frnewsjunkie
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