How to give a Donald Trump stump speech, in 12 easy steps

CNN ^ | 8/31/2015 | Chris Moody

[Laissez-faire capitalist]

1.) Arrive to the sound of a 1980s montage song, like "I am a real American" from Hulk Hogan's WWE Days. ...

2.) pay your respects to the American flag. ...

3.) Remark on the yuuuuge sixe of the crowd. ...

6.) When discussing trade and foreign policy, mention China as often as possible.

7.) Remind everyone that you have more money than they do,.

8.) Say the Bible is your favorite book and everyone will give you a thumbs up.

...

[Rennes Templar]

This is such a sophomoric hit piece. All bad photos, poor sarcasm. Lame attempt. Looks like high schoolers.

[Chode]

1st... BE Donald Trump!!!

[DoughtyOne]

12. Conclude by repeating the slogan you definitely didn't crib from Ronald Reagan.

crib

home, domicile, or dwelling

Dang du...your CRIB is phat YO! (Your house is very pleasing to the eye; Contemporary flare, yet structurally sound. May I have a look around my good man?)

LINK

[ScottinVA]

“Belittling is what bullies who’ve got nothing else do.”

---

Hiring thugs is what bullies do who covet others’ property do.

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/265171/donald-trump-and-eminent-domain-robert-verbruggen

[Chode]

100%!!!

[Cyman]

How to give a Hillary Clinton Stump speech in 3 easy sentences.

!. Lie about everything

2. Don’t show up

3 Refer back to #1

[ScottinVA]

others’ property. do

[Mr. K]

Curious when we can expect a “How to give a HilLIARy speech”

Let me help...

1) deny

2) deny

3) deny

4) blame vast right ring conspiracy

5) say this is old news, lets move on.

(P.S. a whole website - MOVEON.org -was CREATED because of this meme in number 5)

[Laissez-faire capitalist]

It is an informal ping list, mlizzy.

Oh, btw, we aren’t 1.) anti-Trump flip-flops or 2.) anti-liberalism or 3.) anti-single-payer, 4.) anti eminent domain and 5.) so on.

We are now anti-Trump!

You cannot oppose stances or lack thereof or the near-deifying of a man. If you oppose any of those (1-5) then you oppose the man himself!!!

And that is unforgiveable.

Remember that. /s.

[AmericanCheeseFood]

Bernie Sanders speech.

1. Make sure all devices are off unless you want someone to discover your child porn while you’re making the speech.
2. Arrive on stage and exclaim the world to people who you think will make better bums off a larger government.
3. Wet yourself mid-speech, move closer to podium.
4. Finish to the applause of the bums you’ve promised the world to.
5.Return to your net capable devices and commence looking at child porn.

[skippyjonjones]

I’m sure you know what a stump speech is. Repetition is kind of a requirement.

[nikos1121]

Loved the reading of the NY Times... In the beginning he says, “I love the NY times.” Then in the end he throws it in the air, and later refers to it as “This crummy paper.” hahaha

[fr_freak]

Even if this were correct, it is still much more sophisticated than the speech strategy for Obama:

1) Say "Hope!"
2) say "Change!"
3) While the crowd of women and feminized men cheer wildly, smile and think about the last time you were in a bath house going down on an old white man

[miss marmelstein]

Yeah, that really stupid respect for the flag thing...

[scottinoc]

The Donald does it in 2 steps:
1) Be yourself
2) Sit back and watch the political pundit class meltdown

[miss marmelstein]

Well, I guess this was ripe for parady. Well done.

[miss marmelstein]

parody, not parady.

[itsahoot]

How to give a Jeb stump speech, in 1 easy step: 1. Babble on about anything, switching between English and Spanish. The topic itself doesn't matter because no one is listening anyway.

Now that right there is funny, no matter who you are.

[SpeakerToAnimals]

Arrive to the sound of a 1980s montage song, like "I am a real American" from Hulk Hogan's WWE Days

Leave the stage to Twisted Sister singing we're not going to take it anymore. Which he has done more than once.

[IronJack]

How to give an Obama stump speech:

1) Rent two teleprompters, one primary and one backup.
2) Have one of your lackeys write a speech for you while you’re playing the back nine at Snobwood.
3) Say “Let me be clear” whenever you intend to be anything but clear.
4) When you don’t have anything else to say, sayb “uh ...” “duhhhhh” and other space-fillers.
5) When you run out of uh’s and duh’s, just grin and shake your head. The fools in your audience will go berserk over how “presidential” you look.
6) When you run out of other peoples’ ideas, you can always fall back on the class/race rhetoric you were taught by your mentors.
7) Mention the Republicans in a context that equates them to extraterrestail dxemons who want to enslave blacks, rape women, and sell Tiny Tim’s crutch for firewood.
8) when you’ve finished making a complete ass of yourself, don’t sweat it. Your lapdogs in the media will cover for your blunders and point out the brilliance of your vision.
9) Blame any surviving failures on George Bush.
10) See if you can get a late tee-time at Elitist Hollows.