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The Oatmeal had absolutely nothing to do with the above picture, so no credit whatsoever to him.
Posted on 03/25/2015 6:50:58 AM PDT by Lazamataz
Michael Isikoff wrote, on the 23rd, a news article that is so completely packed with innuendo and the use of the language to color and direct the readers opinion, that I thought to improve his work.
He has three 'anonymous sources' to back his claims, which in Wisconsin -- as fiercely partisan and anti-Walker as it is -- should not be hard to find, whether true or not.
He then goes to draw nebulous links among various facts to paint Walker as evil, and to create the newest 15-minute-hate Koch Brother for the far left.
So, in the interest of helping him out -- because I am a very helpful fellow! -- I have taken to rewriting his work so that it better executes his desired plan.
The first article, in blue, is his work. The second article, in red, is my helpful assistance.
Secret $1.5 million donation from Wisconsin billionaire uncovered in Scott Walker dark-money probe
John Menard Jr. is widely known as the richest man in Wisconsin. A tough-minded, staunchly conservative 75-year-old billionaire, he owns a highly profitable chain of hardware stores throughout the Midwest. He’s also famously publicity-shy — rarely speaking in public or giving interviews.
So a little more than three years ago, when Menard wanted to back Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker — and help advance his pro-business agenda — he found the perfect way to do so without attracting any attention: He wrote more than $1.5 million in checks to a pro-Walker political advocacy group that pledged to keep its donors secret, three sources directly familiar with the transactions told Yahoo News.
Menard’s previously unreported six-figure contributions to the Wisconsin Club for Growth — a group that spent heavily to defend Walker during a bitter 2012 recall election — seem to have paid off for the businessman and his company. In the past two years, Menard’s company has been awarded up to $1.8 million in special tax credits from a state economic development corporation that Walker chairs, according to state records.
And in his five years in office, Walker’s appointees have sharply scaled back enforcement actions by the state Department of Natural Resources — a top Menard priority. The agency had repeatedly clashed with Menard and his company under previous governors over citations for violating state environmental laws and had levied a $1.7 million fine against Menard personally, as well as his company, for illegally dumping hazardous wastes.
“This, in a nutshell, is what’s wrong with the dark-money world we live in,” said Bill Allison, senior fellow at the Sunlight Foundation, a Washington-based based nonprofit group that tracks the influence of money in politics. “Here’s somebody who obviously has issues before the state, and he’s able to make a backdoor contribution that nobody ever sees. My sense is [political] insiders know about these contributions. It’s only the public that has no idea.”
My edits for Mr. Isikoff's work:
Secret Evil $1.5 million donation/purchase from horrible Wisconsin billionaire uncovered in henious Scott Walker dark-Satanic-money probe
John Menard Jr. a pedophile, is widely known as the richest, greediest man in the world. A tough-minded and unfair man, staunchly conservative and oppressive, the 75-year-old billionaire owns a highly profitable, greedy, rapacious chain of hardware stores throughout the Midwest. He’s also given to lurking in the shadows — much like an assassin — rarely speaking in public or giving interviews.
So a little more than three years ago, when Menard wanted to back Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker — and help advance the most corrupt, murderous fanatical agenda shy of the Japanese in World War Two — he found the perfect way to do so without scrutiny, oversight, or any moral basis: He wrote more than eleventy-skadillion dollars in checks to a pro-Walker political cult group that pledged to keep its donors secret, said three guys we didn't check out.
Menard’s child porn, drug addicted, insane and cannibalistic tendencies are best demonstrated in unreported six-figure contributions to the Wisconsin Club for Growth — a group that worships Satan and eats children, and spent heavily to defend Walker during a bitter 2012 recall election — seem to have paid off for the businessman and his company. In the past two years, Menard’s company has been given one zillion free dollars for absolutely nothing.
And in his five years in office, Walker’s appointees have completely stopped all enforcement actions by the state against any of the heinous, evil, horrible big Republican businesses, but tripled down on kicking puppies and trampling flowers.
“This, in a nutshell, is why dark-money Walker is so evil and horrible. What a horrid little man. He's much worsr than Hitler,” said Bill Allison, senior fellow at the Sunshine and Puppies and Clouds Foundation, a Washington-based based nonprofit group that heroically hunts down and exorcises Republican demons.
Haha! Well done.
Thanks. All I did was take the football Isikoff handed me, and ran farther down the field.
Not sure if this is worthy of a ping to my crew or now, though.
Yes, but that's the essence of satire.
I think yours had less innuendo.
Pray America is waking
Haha! Isikoff will probably ask you to freelance for him.
Do you think it’s worthy of a LazList ping?
Michael Isikoff was featured prominently on a multi-segment attack on Scott Walker by Rachel Maddow last night.
Maddow apparently believes that national journalists like Isikoff will have the ‘investigative chops’ to root out corruption in the Walker administration that the Wisconsin journalist couldn’t.
Good luck with that libs...
Absolutely, Isakoff is a hack.
The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
290 Satisfied Customers!™
The Oatmeal had absolutely nothing to do with the above picture, so no credit whatsoever to him.
Bally good job.
Just because.
You’re the political Dave Barry. Well done.
And you spelled “worser” wrong.
Too believable.
Why, that's outrageous, Bill. So, tell us about the Klinton foundation...
What's Soreass's connection to the DNC, ACCORN and Alinsky? Imagine if the media reported about all of that beginning in the early 2000's...
John Menard Jr. a pedophile, which most people are not aware of...and ***He’s never denied it***
Swallowed my coffee right before I read that.
LOL
I would be pissed if I had spewed coffee all over my shiny new laptop.
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