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Obama Apologizes to the French for Choosing Football Over Anti-Terrorism March
Townhall.com ^ | January 19, 2015 | Rachel Alexander

Posted on 01/19/2015 5:12:02 AM PST by Kaslin

Dear French personnes,

I’ve been deep in thought while drinking a Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino at Starbucks, and feel like I owe an apology to you people for ditching France last Sunday. I realize over 40 world leaders and as many as three million people walked in the France Unity March to show solidarity against the fatal terrorist attacks on the French satire magazine Charlie Hebdo. As you know, I’m the most powerful man in the world, and up until the country started to go downhill under my administration, the U.S. was the number one superpower. Little people have plenty of free time, big people have legacies to make.

Now, I did instruct a wealthy donor of mine who lives in France, Jane Hartley, to attend the march, does that count? She raised me an impressive $500,000 in 2012, so I made her an ambassador to France last fall. Some assistant secretary at the Department of State also showed up, I can’t recall her name, a low-level official. John Kerry was in India giving an important speech on manmade global warming -er, climate change is what we’re calling it now - but gimme some credit, I did send him to France after the march because he appears kinda French. Eric Holder was already in France for a counterterrorism summit, but he bungled my instructions to attend the march - I think he got distracted by a race riot on the way there.

Joe Biden was too busy cleaning his shotgun.

You gotta realize, there are some important criteria I consider when choosing my world vacations -er, travel. Do Michelle and the kids want to visit there? Right now, they are burnt out on France. I’ve taken five trips to France so far as president, more visits there than to any country except Mexico. Once you’ve been golfing at Morfontaine a few times, it gets kinda old. Currently, the “Beyonce gang,” as I call my three girls, are pressuring me for a trip to the Bahamas. Isn’t there some need for intervention in Nassau due to pirate attacks?

The next criterion is, will the appearance make it seem like I am taking a position one way or another on a controversial issue? If so, then no can do. I try to have it both ways on Islamic terrorism. On the one hand, I don’t want Muslims to think I in any way disagree with them. On the other hand, I don’t want to appear to condone violence. This trip would have forced me into the second box, and I no longer have Candy Crowley available on CNN to cover for me.

In contrast, I thought it was important to send three representatives to Michael Brown’s funeral because it set us - blacks - against law enforcement. If I had showed up at the Unity March, it would have put me on the side of law enforcement, since two police officers were killed in the attack on Charlie Hebdo. Can you imagine the grief I would get from the Reverend Al Sharpton?

Third, what country are we talking about? Although I was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize immediately after being elected president, I don’t want a nickname like the one Jonah Goldberg gave you guys, “Cheese-eating surrender monkeys.” Look how John Kerry is ridiculed for being too much like the French. I want to go down in history as the guy who got Osama bin Laden. Another photo op with Socialist President Francois Hollande would remind people that I’m more European socialist than Rambo.

Finally, and most importantly, will the trip interfere with my golfing or other leisure? The march took place last Sunday, so I would have missed both the Packers v. Cowboys and Colts v. Broncos playoff games. Honestly, it was a no-brainer. In my important position as president, I can’t travel and ignore the outcome of a game with the hopes of watching it through DVR later, because there would be loud, average Americans cheering everywhere in airports, giving the results away.

Au revoir for now, and remember, Je suis appeasement!


TOPICS: Editorial; Israel
KEYWORDS: apology; charliehebdo; deathtoislam; france; israel; nfl; paris

1 posted on 01/19/2015 5:12:02 AM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

The sad truth is...this is 100% correct in describing what was going through his head....and we still have 2 more yrs of this crap...and God save us if the GOP doesn’t do what they were put into office for...and then Hillary gets elected....


2 posted on 01/19/2015 5:15:12 AM PST by BCW (ARMIS EXPOSCERE PACEM)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; bigheadfred; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...

IOW, he Lies.


3 posted on 01/19/2015 5:28:41 AM PST by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
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To: BCW

....aaaand I was too busy dismantling Amerika and rebuilding Caliphate ....
....aaaand you have the commie president doing fine job without my help.....


4 posted on 01/19/2015 5:32:56 AM PST by Leo Carpathian (FReeeeepeesssssed)
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To: Kaslin
kerry ross.jpg
5 posted on 01/19/2015 5:53:47 AM PST by Heartlander (Prediction: Increasingly, logic will be seen as a covert form of theism. - Denyse OÂ’Leary)
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To: Kaslin

6 posted on 01/19/2015 6:10:49 AM PST by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not A Matter of Opinion)
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To: Kaslin

Perhaps Obama’s health is failing. He looks ill.


7 posted on 01/19/2015 6:26:17 AM PST by abclily
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To: Kaslin
The "march" of the leaders would've been perfect for Obama, it was completely phony.

The photo shown the world.

The reality of the march.

From Politically Incorrect Germany [pi-news.net]

8 posted on 01/19/2015 6:26:51 AM PST by Jabba the Nutt (You can have freedom or government schools. Choose one.)
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To: Kaslin

ahhhh...

9 posted on 01/19/2015 6:28:23 AM PST by W. (Bureaucracy kills enterprise, and communism doesen't work. Any OTHER bright ideas, 0bama?)
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To: Kaslin

Obama is now having Barney come over and sing “I love you, you love me” to the French. After that Barney will head to Mosul where he’ll sing it the ISIS people. That should make them stop their killings. (snicker)


10 posted on 01/19/2015 6:34:35 AM PST by driftless2 (For long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
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To: Kaslin

Da boy was looking for some new “spike the football” moves for his upcoming, BIG State of the Union Show.


11 posted on 01/19/2015 6:48:40 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer (When the hell do I get MY white privilege? I'm tired of busting my @$$ for a living.)
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To: Kaslin

The idiot displays his stupidity again expected.


12 posted on 01/19/2015 8:14:18 AM PST by Vaduz
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To: BCW; Liz; Old Sarge
In contrast, I thought it was important to send three representatives to Michael Brown’s funeral because it set us - blacks - against law enforcement. If I had showed up at the Unity March, it would have put me on the side of law enforcement, since two police officers were killed in the attack on Charlie Hebdo. Can you imagine the grief I would get from the Reverend Al Sharpton?

Too real to be satire...

13 posted on 01/19/2015 10:05:14 AM PST by GOPJ (Radical Muslims are the 'brutish light-fearing Morlocks' of the Islamic political machine.)
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To: Heartlander; GOPJ
Kerry sending Diana Ross to ISIS to sing. "Stop in the Name of Love."

ISIS sending WH The Fortunes to sing, "Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling, Again."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO1LbkuPfqo

14 posted on 01/19/2015 10:20:05 AM PST by Liz
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To: GOPJ; Liz; Old Sarge

Although meant to be funny...I think this is how he thinks 100% of the time...it is too accurate to be anything else...

If the GOP doesn’t undo all that Obama has done - then allows Hillary to gain office in 2017 - then it’s all over...there will never be the Great Republic that once was...party over!


15 posted on 01/19/2015 12:34:55 PM PST by BCW (ARMIS EXPOSCERE PACEM)
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To: BCW; GOPJ; Liz; TADSLOS

Our FRiend TADSLOS has a tagline that says it best...


16 posted on 01/20/2015 4:18:07 AM PST by Old Sarge (Its the Sixties all over again, but with crappy music...)
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