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Argentina’s Javier Mascherano says he tore his anus playing against the Netherlands
O Canada.com ^ | July 11, 2014 | Ishmael N. Daro

Posted on 07/11/2014 9:08:00 AM PDT by Loyalist

Javier Mascherano’s game-saving slide tackle in Wednesday’s World Cup semifinal match came at a heavy price.

The Argentine player, who likely suffered a concussion earlier in the game, says he later tore his anus when he stopped Netherlands forward Arjen Robben’s attack late in extra time.

He shared the unfortunate news in a post-match press conference.

A rough translation of his remarks: “I do not want to be rude … I tore the anus that play. That’s why I felt so much pain””

It’s not clear whether Mascherano can (or should) play in Sunday’s final against Germany, but his stellar performance against the Dutch did not go unnoticed. The Guardian’s Michael Cox hailed the Barcelona midfielder as the “man of the match by some distance,” although the official honour went to the Argentine goalkeeper Sergio Romero for his superb performance during the penalty shootout that secured Argentina’s win.

(Excerpt) Read more at o.canada.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: anus; argentina; napl; worldcup
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To: Loyalist
The World Cup medical staff should be experienced with this type of injury.

They've already dealt with the entire Brazilian team getting their anuses torn by Germany.

41 posted on 07/11/2014 10:18:10 AM PDT by AAABEST (Et lux in tenebris lucet: et tenebrae eam non comprehenderunt)
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To: Loyalist

“I tore the anus that play.”

Of course you did.


42 posted on 07/11/2014 10:20:34 AM PDT by AppyPappy
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans

You forgot your sarcasm tag.


43 posted on 07/11/2014 10:21:27 AM PDT by autumnraine
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To: Loyalist

Note to self: never slide over a sprinkler head.


44 posted on 07/11/2014 10:26:20 AM PDT by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: Loyalist; All
Was not feeling so good this morning.

All of your posts are *snicker*, *chortle*, and *guffaw"!

Feeling better now! At least MY anus has never been torn - not even on the worst of my days.

Poor fella'......

45 posted on 07/11/2014 10:29:14 AM PDT by hummingbird (Mark Levin and Article 5. Period.)
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To: autumnraine

I’m never sarcastic about the gay sport of soccer. It is a part of the communist plot and is a threat to all mankind.


46 posted on 07/11/2014 10:29:27 AM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans (I mostly come out at night... mostly.)
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To: Loyalist
"I tore the anus that play."

--------------------------------->

"GOAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!"

47 posted on 07/11/2014 10:31:44 AM PDT by hummingbird (Mark Levin and Article 5. Period.)
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To: Loyalist

Why was his anus in such a weak condition in the first place? Sissy sport played by rump rangers? Football is much tougher and no one tears their butt.


48 posted on 07/11/2014 10:32:46 AM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Are!)
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans

Kinda confirms it for me that soccer is a queer game!


49 posted on 07/11/2014 10:39:13 AM PDT by biff (WAS)
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To: Loyalist

Ouch! didn’t even know such a thing was possible...


50 posted on 07/11/2014 10:40:01 AM PDT by uncitizen (Buckle up! We're on the Facism Fast Track!)
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans

Ok. I think I.love your sense of humor.


51 posted on 07/11/2014 10:40:13 AM PDT by autumnraine
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To: Loyalist

The infamous ‘ Anus Play ‘. Going down in history with the 7-1 loss by Brazil


52 posted on 07/11/2014 10:41:09 AM PDT by Para-Ord.45 (Americans, happy in tutelage by the reflection that they have chosen their own dictators.)
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To: Loyalist

I guess...others have said they had a groin injury.


53 posted on 07/11/2014 10:42:36 AM PDT by Osage Orange (I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it.)
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To: immadashell

Calling ASSMAN!!!


54 posted on 07/11/2014 10:43:39 AM PDT by Osage Orange (I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it.)
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans
"This proves that soccer is a sport for homosexuals. Football players from other heterosexual sports never have injuries like that."

To the contrary, the reason you don't hear about football players having injuries like that is because they get a lot of *stretching exercises*.

55 posted on 07/11/2014 10:46:15 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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To: Loyalist

In HS I knew a guy who got a new one torn in wrestling. Is that a sissy sport?

You soccer-phobes love poking fun at a sport you couldn’t last 15 minutes in.


56 posted on 07/11/2014 10:47:29 AM PDT by Roman_War_Criminal (Bible Summary in a few verses: John 14:6, John 6:29, Romans 10:9-10)
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To: stevio

If Neptune was knocked out orbit, would it tear Uranus?


57 posted on 07/11/2014 10:49:28 AM PDT by bert ((K.E. N.P. N.C. GOPc.+12 ..... Obama is public enemy #1)
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To: Responsibility2nd; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...

"Oooooh, I hear you, girlfriend!"



58 posted on 07/11/2014 11:18:48 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

The Dutch ripped him a new one?!? Thought that soccer, like basketball, was a noncontact sport...and wrestling is real.


59 posted on 07/11/2014 11:37:20 AM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Love me, love my guns!©)
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To: CodeToad

You didn’t even see a headline like this from the guy whose rear end Mark “butt fumble” Sanchez slid into. So yes, I would have to agree with you. “Football is much tougher and no one tears their butt.”


60 posted on 07/11/2014 12:09:57 PM PDT by Waryone
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