Posted on 04/19/2014 1:31:20 PM PDT by Kaslin
Rancher Cliven Bundy looks like he could still be in a heap of trouble for having thoroughly ticked off Fedzilla and the Keebler elf himself, Harry Reid.
Being the peacemaking Christian that I am, herewith are ten ways Cliven Bundy could get the Feds off his backside and actually ingratiate himself to the big government droogies of the Left.
1. Bundy should fire his ranch foreman and hire Jay Carney who could effectively lie his butt off about Cliven’s cows. “Eating grass? His cows aren’t eating grass. What are you talking about? These are the most transparent, grass adverse, cows ever.”
2. Bundy should rename his ranch “Benghazi” , then the Feds would never show up. Ever.
3. Staying with the Benghazi motif, Bundy could also blame his cows' raid upon the BLM’s grass flats the result of an anti-Muslim YouTube video. Case closed.
4. Bundy should start boldly smoking and selling grass versus having his cows eat the grass.
5. Bundy should become, for the remainder of his life, a vile race-baiter. If he sold nothing but hate towards whites and conservatives, he could owe the IRS two million in back-taxes and they'd include him during White House fundraisers and MSNBC would give him his own talk show. Problem solved.
6. Staying in the racist vein, Bundy could join the New Black Panthers Party, change his name to Shabrique Shazamm and intimidate all the white devils when they show up to vote during the upcoming midterms. Can you say, “Instant protection by the DOJ?”
7. Bundy should get gold-capped teeth, trade his cowboy hat in for a hoodie, walk around holding his crotch and say “mother-%&#$@” every other word. He’d be hailed as a victim and a poet. A victim poet, I tell you.
8. Bundy should build a mosque on Ground Zero. If he did that he’d own half of Nevada.
9. Bundy should start hanging out with Latin dictators and expand his enterprise from cattle ranching to a gun running operation for drug cartels south of the border. Do it, Cliven. Like, muy pronto.
10. Finally, and especially, Bundy should claim that he was the inspiration for Brokeback Mountain. If CB played the gay card they’d throw him a party at the White House and the BLM goons, wearing Daisy Dukes, would serve him and his posse a desert tortoise consommé.
Somehow..... a song titled “My heroes have always been Gay Radical Marxists”’ JUST doesn’t seem to have the same ring to it. :-)
Space Cowboy — Steve Miller
I told you ‘bout living in the U.S. of A.
Don’t you know that I’m a gangster of love
Let me tell you people that I found a new way
And I’m tired of all this talk about love
And the same old story with a new set of words
About the good and the bad and the poor
And the times keep on changin’
So I’m keepin’ on top
Of every fat cat who walks through my door
I’m a space cowboy
Bet you weren’t ready for that
I’m a space cowboy
I’m sure you know where it’s at
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I was born on this rock
And I’ve been travelin’ through space
Since the moment I first realized
What all you fast talkin’ cats would do if you could
You know, I’m ready for the final surprise
There ain’t no way around it
Ain’t nothing to say
That’s gonna satisfy my soul deep inside
All the prayers and surveyors
Keep the whole place uptight
While it keeps on gettin’ darker outside
I’m a space cowboy
Bet you weren’t ready for that
I’m a space cowboy
I’m sure you know where it’s at
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I see the show downs, slow downs, lost and found, turn arounds
The boys in the military shirts
I keep my eyes on the prize, on the long fallen skies
And I don’t let my friends get hurt
All you back room schemers, small trip dreamers
Better find something new to say
Cause you’re the same old story
It’s the same old crime
And you got some heavy dues to pay
Now I'm going to have that stupid electric (wheenk-whow) guitar sound stuck in my head the rest of the day.
LOL!
This is sad, but true.
I guess it sums up the situation so well, we must, at this point, either cry or laugh about it.
No charge!
Barackistan
Besides it's tough to stay in the shadows in the desert near LV.
LOL, that's the winner of the bunch.
That was one of his hundreds of lies
Thanks, I thought it was
They aren't 'trespass cattle', they're undocumented bovines.
Wouldn’t trade one bundy for a 1,000 of the other.
I wouldn’t either
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