Posted on 08/30/2010 5:42:29 AM PDT by Servant of the Cross
Liberals are horrified.
i know what women are looking for ... i chose my screen name carefully
YAY I finally have a name “gender traditionalist”.
I got into it here with a FReeper who said his wife needed to work. He said she WANTED to work, but gave quotes from her that said the opposite.
It was sad.
First was my mother at her and my dad's 50th wedding anniversary. All of these women from the old neighborhood sitting around a table sharing photos of grand children, laughing, talking, and generally having the time of their life. I should mention that all of these women, “threw their lives away” according to the feminist by staying at home and being full time mothers.
The second was being almost run into a guard rail at 60 miles an hour by a mini-van. The lady in the front seat was leaning over to see the rear-view mirror so she could put on her makeup. In doing so she drifted left into my lane. As I frantically tried to get her attention I noticed a small boy strapped into a car seat in the back seat. Next to him was a pet carrier. I'm sure that was a list somewhere that said “daycare, vet, work” and probably a few other items.
When I got her attention, she shrugged her shoulders and gave me a “sorry” expression. I sped up to get some distance and in the rear view mirror I could see her leaning over again.
Somehow I doubt there is a day in her future when she and life long friends will joyously reminisce about kids, family, and good old times. But, she is, "having it all."
My wife works full-time, but is able to work from home usually once a week. Economic realities these days make her salary necessary. Living in Boston, one of the most liberal places in the country, you would think women want to have their power careers and put family second. I have never met a woman in my wive’s circle that doesn’t want to stay home with their kids. So even in Boston, these women feel guilty leavuing their kids in the morning. The mortgage however, has to be paid.
And please spare me the “just move then” posts. You don’t just up and quit your well-paying job and move in this economy. You make do. You spend all the time you can with your kids and family and get your work done. I’d love to play with my kids all day, but I can’t. Welcome to adulthood.
It drives me crazy when I see articles that say, as this one days, “The American woman wants this, the American woman wants that ...”. What’s wrong with the American woman, then? Why can’t she show some gumption and have or achieve what she wants, without someone’s having to make her a charity case?
Okay, there’s societal pressure to hold a paying job. Who says one has to give in, if that’s not what one wants? Stand up, “American Woman,” and redefine yourself as a person who is capable of deciding what she values and acting on her principles, instead of being Jell-o.
I do believe that Kathryn Jean Lopez agrees that it is not to be monolithic either way - only career or only stay at home. I think she’s attacking the liberal view that screams career only. Clearly, there is an economic need for both spouses to work in many families. That said, the work should never be the first priority.
With the exception of some well paid professionals, or successful female business owners who make as much (if not more) than their husbands, most of the women that I know who work have little choice in the matter. Their husbands simply don’t make enough money to support the family on his own.
This position will pick up a lot of steam as the baby boomers retire, and as the economy continues to be flat. The jobless recovery will create new single parent families first not by choice, but then by choice. Many of these at home parents will be men too, due to the difficulty in finding work.
Oh. You can just do that? For women? People will be surprised - a lot of them are looking for "on-ramps into the workforce" right about now.
I don’t have kids, but when I do, I absolutely want my wife to stay home with the kids both to nurture them in their youth and teach them from home as they grow. That is a job both infinitely frustrating and infinitely rewarding, and I personally believe women are better suited than men.
Why can’t we revert to the mindset of the post-war 1950s? Women were women, men were men, kids were disciplined but learned and grew. We live in some sort of time warp where women are men, men are feminine, and kids are allowed to make adult decisions at age 8.
If you'll look back at graphs of women entering the marketplace, you'll find the huge increases starting in the mid 60’s through the mid 80’s. New find a graph of the inflation rate, and you will see double digits for most of those years.
Families became two earner incomes about the same time that the price of everything doubled. The young two income family people that work for us are (in my opinion) under much more financial pressure than my single earner parents ever were.
A house is a house, a car is a car, food is food. When those things cost twice as much, two incomes just get people back to even. What was lost in this process was the time women had for kids, community, schools, PTA, etc. Unfortunately, society didn't get much for that lost time, and without some kind of major shift, that time will never be regained.
No, she seems to be talking about a variety of vocational options. However, she then goes on to imply that it's the responsibility of someone other than each individual woman to facilitate the woman's choices.
As soon as anyone, man or woman, says that he or she has "no choice" but to engage in some activity they don't wish to, that person has chosen to define himself as helpless, rather than functional. This is what the author is doing on behalf of "American woman" ... saying that "she" isn't capable of making decisions and taking responsibility.
I am going to get myself in trouble here, but ...
This article is in a small way more self-centered, gender-centric angst.
While I DO agree with much of what is written (in fact I read nothing to disagree with) I am struck that so many women “feel” the discussion (and the issue) is all about women. All the time. Someone please play Toby Keith’s “I wanna talk about me”.
I think the discussion would be more legitimate and more interesting if it was about PARENTS and not, like, OMG, ‘whats a mother to do?’
I would suggest, specifically, that folks on either side of this issue spend as much time and emotional energy on the role of men (i.e., DADS) as they do coffee-klatching over the roles and conflicts of women.
OK, I’m done. Have fun.
I was successful when I practiced that occupation. Now I’m a domestic goddess, with eight children at home and one in the Coast Guard. (But I still have the spirit of an accountant ;-).
LOL - excellent comment!
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