Posted on 05/18/2008 6:54:58 PM PDT by ButThreeLeftsDo
The mother of a 13-year-old autistic boy who was banned by a court order from attending services at a Roman Catholic church in Bertha, Minn., woke up Sunday determined to take her son to mass.
But Carol Race changed her mind when Todd County Sheriff Pete Mikkelson met her at the end of her driveway Sunday and told her she would be arrested if she brought her son, Adam, into the Church of St. Joseph.
Instead, Race took Adam and her four other children to mass at Christ the King Church in nearby Browerville, Minn. "It occurred to me that if I step foot in [St. Joseph], they will arrest me and I won't end up going to mass anyway," she said.
She is scheduled to appear in court today over a citation she received last week for violating the restraining order by taking Adam to church on Mother's Day.
The dispute has drawn attention to what Race and advocates for the disabled say is a lack of education and understanding about autism. Race said that even though her son, who is home-schooled, sometimes acts up in church, the experience benefits him.
"He has a sense of the routine," she said. "That's one of the beautiful things about the Catholic mass for autistic individuals, its routine."
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
I wonder if the compromise might have been to have one service they could attend, warn other parishioners that this young man would be in the cry room at that service (so they could opt to bring their infants to another service, or whatever).
susie
I would worry about this child as he grows up, what are they going to do with him? That would be an overwhelming worry. I have a niece with downs, she is a lovely girl (young woman now actually) and while I enjoy her, I know how difficult life is for her parents who will always have to worry about her care, knowing that someone will always have to be in charge of her. She’s a blessing, but most of us have kids, and then they grow up and while they are still a worry for us, we know that they will be ok without us.
susie
When I was growing up, we lived for a couple of years in a place where there were to children with mental disabilities (I don’t know what it was, they were physically normal and it wasn’t downs). I’m sure they went to special schools, since I never saw them at school and that was before mainstreaming.
Anyway, they both lived in their homes. The boy lived right behind us, and he wondered the neighborhood. He was probably only about 10. Anyway, he didn’t bother me much, because I was his size, but he used to torment my younger brother (who is 4 years younger than me), chase him and try to hit him. He was out of control, but his parents let him wander around.
The other was a girl, who lived down the street. She used to come out and play with us and was very sweet and easy to get along with. I don’t know if certain disabilities cause aggressive behavior (maybe the boy was austistic) but even as a 10 year old I knew that it was wrong for them to let him run around unsupervised to terrorize the kids in the neighborhood.
susie
Good ‘un.
Thank you for asking that question. Not having had to directly deal with this problem myself, I don’t know what the options are, but it would seem to me that there are options in this day and age, to help this young many develop social skills. And surely those options are available thru the school system.
susie
God bless you.
susie
Sounds like a good idea to me. The problem seems to be that the mom does not seem to want this. She wants him in a “normal” routine which seems to upset him. Maybe all the people and activities are triggering the outbursts. I just wanted to add that when members are in different areas people still need to come by and say hi and shake hands. Remember they are there.
I find it’s very easy for people to tell others what to do, and very different to do it themselves.
susie
This does not appear to be a passive child. What makes you think the boy would leave the diaper on? He's 6 foot and 200 pounds, that a lot of strength compared to an older person.
I've dealt with autism in a very young, 60 pound child and it's not an easy task. I can't imagine trying to force a 200 pound person into behaving if they aren't capable mentally.
Amen. Mainstreaming has not benefitted anyone involved, IMO. Special needs children are not taught the skills they need, in a manner easier for them to learn. The rest of the classroom loses the attention of the instructor, further dimishing an already lacking education.
It would have been refreshing for once to hear of an inspiring solution to the problem. You know, some kind of heartwarming story along the lines of how Father Flannigan of 'Boys Town' would have handled it.
My point is that maybe some men are cut out to be priests while others aren't. Like I said, they don't make them like they used to.
When my son was 8 he really made life difficult and was quite destructive.
I saw some documentary on HBO (I’m forgetting the title) not too long ago on this subject (the documentary was about a decade old) and they showed a special needs child (IIRC, he had some form of autism) trying to be mainstreamed into a regular elementary school class. The child would have violent outbursts, strike, scream or choke other classmates (mind you, this was supposed to be a positive (!) story about the child). You can imagine that the teacher was having to devote the bulk of her time trying to get the child to settle down and focus (and having to direct the other children to help her in the task). In other words, in a classroom with at least 2 dozen children, the central focus was that ONE child.
Although the documentary was a very brief one, they jumped ahead to show he had settled down somewhat in the course of a year - but I do have to wonder how much his presence slowed down actual teaching time vs. how it would’ve been had he not been placed in the classroom. I would bet the teacher had to forgo covering 1/3rd of the curriculum as a result — that, of course, was not mentioned. Also not mentioned was how that might’ve effected the performance of the other 2 dozen students (or how they may have been deprived of being taught more lessons), or if they would be at a disadvantage entering the next grade as a result of not having had a full course lesson in the prior grade. Also not mentioned was whether in the next grade, presumably with a new teacher and new students, that the subject of the documentary would go right back to behaving like he did at the start of the previous year being in a “strange” environment with strangers.
There’s a reason why they’re called special needs students, and it isn’t fair to either them or average students with school bureaucrats deciding to “experiment” on both, more often than not causing more harm to the students that don’t have special needs.
I don’t see anything in this article, or on the news that supports your opinion that this priest is not cut out to be one. He may not be (I’ve met my share of bad priests), however, we don’t know that from this incident. And we really don’t have any details about what he did to try to resolve this.
susie
Not everyone. I’m the parent of an autistic child & I am completely on the side of the church on this one.
My feeling & I admit I could be wrong because I don’t know these people but it appears to me the parents want to accept him as he is, which is great. They want everyone else to do the same, but they are failing to establish boundaries. His disability is the “excuse” for his behavior. But his behavior is unacceptable. He simply needs a caregiver for the times they attend church. Basically a babysitter. But it sounds like they have rejected every suggestion from the church & insist on bringing him despite his aggressive behavior.
Sounds similar to my situation. I haven’t been in the past few years either. My daughter isn’t aggressive but she is chatty. I know she will not be quiet for 1 minute. She’s a hummer too so I completely understand. When I can find someone qualified that I believe I can trust, I’ll return. I think this mother wants respect for her son but that road has lanes running two ways.
Maybe you should write a book on how to properly potty train an autistic child. You’ll make a million the first week.
Easy money, huh?
It sounds -- based on the story -- that there is more to it than that.
It also sounds as if the church has made several overtures to the family to resolve the situation, and the parents are refusing to be reasonable.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.