Agenda for the Democratic National Convention 2008 (Vanity)

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning. 7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to the U.N. 7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 7:35 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. 8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging. 8:15 P.M. Gay Wedding -- Barney Frank presiding. 8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan -- Susan Sarandon. 9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. "The proper etiquette for surrender" -- French President Jacques Chirac 9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund 9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay. Sean Penn 9:40 P.M. "Why I hate the Military", A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton 9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore 9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 10:00 P.M. "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers" -- Howard Dean 10:30 P.M. Nomination of Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad 11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet 11:15 P.M. "Our Troops are War Criminals" -- John Kerry 11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton 12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.

7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to the U.N.

7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:35 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.

8:15 P.M. Gay Wedding -- Barney Frank presiding.

8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan -- Susan Sarandon.

9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. "The proper etiquette for surrender" -- French President Jacques Chirac

9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund

9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay. Sean Penn

9:40 P.M. "Why I hate the Military", A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton

9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore

9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

10:00 P.M. "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers" -- Howard Dean

10:30 P.M. Nomination of Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad

11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet

11:15 P.M. "Our Troops are War Criminals" -- John Kerry

11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton

12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

'prolly a formatting malfunction. Anybody catch saturday night live? They were actually evenhanded in blasing both parties. In a fake news interview the dem says..."can you believe the people don't think we'll raise taxes?!! That's what we DO! And those terrorists in gitmo? We're letting them go."

7:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy wakes up and has shot of Chivas from bedside bottle.

7:30 A.M. Ted Kennedy restarts day with coffee & Chivas

8:00 A.M. Nurse injects totipotent embryonic stem cells harvested from illegal alien women directly into Ted Kennedy's liver

8:30 A.M. Ted Kennedy (insert random activity) + Chivas (Repeat every half hour)

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