Posted on 03/23/2005 6:07:18 AM PST by pookie18
With his wife desiccated and starving in a nursing home bed, Michael Schiavo revealed today that Terri would have wanted an advance of at least $5 million for her "right-to-die" book, and twice that plus "a piece of the boxoffice" for the movie rights.
"Since the day I remembered that Terri told me she didn't want eat or drink if she became disabled, this has been a human rights case," said Mr. Schiavo. "Book and movie rights are basic human rights, and I'll continue to fight to see Terri's wishes carried out."
The Florida man said Terri's agent has several "live offers" but they don't yet fulfill Terri's expressed desires.
"We talked about this all the time," he said. "Terri would say, 'Honey, if I'm ever incapacitated, let me slowly die of thirst and make sure to get an agent that knows how to pull together a book and movie package with a foreign distribution clause and a licensing deal for the clothing and toys. And I won't settle for a stinking network movie-of-the-week'."
Mr. Schiavo said, however, that his first wife would not do any posthumous product endorsement contracts until after an appropriate period of mourning.
"But by this summer," he added, "you can expect to see Terri's seal of approval on a line of quality adjustable beds, and a terrific new bottled water called 'Artificial Life Support'."
Related recent headlines.... :: Parents Offer Trade: Terri Schiavo for Scott Peterson (2005-03-22) :: Right-to-Starve Added to Feminism's Victories (2005-03-19) :: Schiavo Hailed as Anti-Obesity Champion (2005-03-18) :: Janet Reno Rescues Terri Schiavo in Daring Raid (2005-03-11) :: Michael Schiavo to Auction Terri on eBay (2005-02-24) :: Terri Schiavo Diet Book Tops Bestseller List (2005-02-22) :: Terri Schiavo Spared by 'Endangered' Designation (2005-02-19) :: Michael Schiavo Slips Into 'Carnivorative State' (2004-10-28)
God Almighty!!!!! Please don't let this happen even if Terri is not able to be with us.
Don't let the culture of death take over this way.
Please help!
Is anyone else sick of All-Schiavo-All-The-Time. Is her plight worthy of coverage? Of course, but there are issues out there that are more important. Give it rest. - (signed) a stanch conservative republican.
(shaking head)
Whatever...I have a thicker skin than most, but this is just wrong.
Freegards.
This is a satire piece. A very good one, too. It made it's point.
THE 'VAST LIFE-WING CONSPIRACY' AGAINST 'poor wittuw michael' SCHIAVO [FR Link page]
For someone to believe Michael, one would have to think that everyone is conspiring against him. It's actually a major tin-foil conspiracy to think that her family, the President, Congress, Rush, Hannity, Savage, the Pope, many FReepers, many bloggers, Newsmax, WND, various nurses, various doctors, etc. are conspiring against Michael Schiavo.
Movie rights and book rights. Yikes! I'm topping my profile page with that one!
I think this is appropriate. It's using absurdist humor to point out the monstrosity of Michael Schiavo's modus operandi.
This is satire, but at usual, too true.
Not funny! But I wouldn't put anything past him. That could really be the main reason he wont divorce her etc, he probably has this in the works already.
Michael Schiavo is the face of evil.
Wrong Michael. The right to live is a basic right. Movies and books don't count you bum!
"Is anyone else sick of All-Schiavo-All-The-Time. Is her plight worthy of coverage?"
I reprint your clueless remarks for the benefit of millions that do get it and, to a much lesser degree, for your general irritation.
Scott Ott at Scappleface has been pretty edgy about the Schiavo case for quite a while now. His satire is very biting because it hits close to home. I think it borders on bad taste, but rises above that by speaking to fundamental truths.
"Michael Schiavo revealed today that Terri would have wanted:
1) an advance of at least $5 million for her "right-to-die" book
2) twice that plus "a piece of the boxoffice" for the movie rights...."
After All this Terri all the time I am about to pull my own feeding tube. I also agree with you that there are many more important issues to work on and this is a simple diversion.
However, if I am ever in Terri's condition I expect my family to pull the plug or feeding tube and let me die in peace not costing my family or the taxpayer Thousands of Dollars a day just so that I can stare off into space not able to read a book, speak to my kids or pet my dog.
And yes, five years ago my family made the decision to pull a feeding tube from our father.
It would have been what he wanted.
Good satire doesn't have to be funny, if it makes you think.
**************
I agree. Satire can be a useful tool in pointing out the absurdity of an issue. This piece does that well.
Satire isn't necessarily supposed to be "funny".
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.