Posted on 07/28/2004 4:34:29 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback
Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.
Gretchen Ritter, a women’s studies professor at the University of Texas, has a problem with stay-at-home moms—actually, several problems. Stay-at-home motherhood, she explains, is bad for men, women, and children alike. It damages our society as a whole and makes lesbian mothers feel bad.
Ritter made all these charges in an opinion piece titled, “The messages we send when moms stay home,” published in the Austin American-Statesman. The diatribe was her attempt at starting what she called “an honest conversation about what is lost when women stay home.” Just read her own words on the harm caused by stay-at-home moms, because no words of mine can do full justice to her ideas (as they say, folks, you just can’t make this stuff up):
“[Stay-at-home motherhood] denies men the chance to be involved fathers. . . .
“Women who stay at home . . . lose a chance to contribute as professionals and community activists. . . .
“Full-time mothering is also bad for children. It teaches them that the world is divided by gender. . . .
“The new stay-at-home motherhood movement parallels the movement to create the ‘perfect’ child. It’s not just that mothers are home with their children; they are engaged with their children constantly so they will ‘develop’ properly. Many middle-class parents demand too much of their children. . . .
“The stay-at-home mother movement is bad for society. It tells employers that women who marry and have children are at risk of withdrawing from their careers. . . . ”
And finally, “The more stay-at-home mothers there are, the more schools and libraries will neglect the needs of working parents, and the more professional mothers, single mothers, working-class mothers, and [yes,] lesbian mothers will feel judged.”
I’m not sure where Ritter is coming from. I don’t know whether her own mother worked, or whether she has kids of her own. And since she doesn’t provide any data to back up her ideas, I have no idea where she’s getting them. All I know is that she writes like someone who lives on a planet of her own—perhaps a planet where test tubes and incubators do the messy, complicated job of raising children. I would think that only someone with that perspective could believe stay-at-home moms deny their husbands opportunities to be with the kids, or that consistent engagement with one’s children will scar them for life. So far, my six children appear to be doing just fine despite—or could it be because of?—the fact that their mother is at home for them every day, and I am engaged.
Fortunately, a number of our readers, including one of our own Centurions, wrote letters to the editor rebutting Ritter’s statements, citing both academic studies and their own experience. That’s what we should do whenever a piece like this gets published. Maybe some stay-at-home moms can op-ed pieces for their local papers as well.
You know, it’s tempting just to disregard these loony ideas, but this article was written by a professor at a major university and published in a mainstream newspaper. We can’t take it for granted that everyone will disagree with her. Our job as Christians is to go on the offensive and actively but winsomely promote a worldview that makes sense and really works. Anyone out there got a few minutes to write the Austin American-Statesman on behalf of stay-at-home moms and common sense? I hope so.
Roger that!
"[Stay at home motherhood] damages our society as a whole and makes lesbian mothers feel bad."
"You just cannot make stuff like this up."
You surely can't. Not if you lay awake all night for all of eternity. And btw, who says lesbian mothers can't stay home with their kids?
Thanks!
Me. I do. The LEAST amount of time these (ack) "mothers" spend w/ANY child is for the better good of the child!
That was my first thought. Maybe Ritter thinks that because she feels sorry for lesbian moms the rest of us will.
IIRC, Colson even did a column earlier this year about gay couples where one works full time and the other stays home full time, a growing phenomenon among gays of both genders.
Why would they feel bad anyhow? The more masculine lesbian could go off to work and support the other one who stays at home. I hope no one is paying this Ritter person to come up with this garbage.
How does making lesbian mothers fit into this senario.
I'm not sure I understand your question. Please rephrase.
As a professional writer, I must say I think Ritter is a professional typist. One who apparently dabbles in some voodoo-like academic pursuits as a hobby.
Ritter is obviously a few cards short. I wonder what she'd think of me? I'm a man who's stayed home with his children for going on 13 years now. What do you want to bet me that she'd be inconsistant and find no problem with that?
Ms. Ritter's perspective may seem odd, but I was raised by parents who shared it, with the possible exception of the sensativity to lesbians. With this view of stay-at-home mothers, a lot of other priorities get seriously out of whack, too. It's scary.
There goes the family farm. grrrrrrr
Loony lesbos...I haven't met a communist I didn't want to beotch-slap severely.
Fear for you children?! Hell no, fight for them, at all costs, period, paragraph and end of story...
Part of me says that's a sucker bet.
Part of me says that unless you're home because your wife works full time for NARAL or Planned Parenthood, she would find a problem with it, and she doesn't need to bother with a real reason, as is evidenced by her article.
All of me says if you're a Christian or Orthodox Jew she'd find a way to hate what you're doing even if your kids all won the Nobel Prize next week.
Me too, but then again, I stayed home because we thought daycare was bad for children. That would no doubt offend the hell out of her.
Part of me says that unless you're home because your wife works full time for NARAL or Planned Parenthood, she would find a problem with it, and she doesn't need to bother with a real reason, as is evidenced by her article.
Oh man, my wife is a labor and delivery nurse. She actually delivers babies, so I'd be so screwed on that one.
All of me says if you're a Christian or Orthodox Jew she'd find a way to hate what you're doing even if your kids all won the Nobel Prize next week.
Well I'm an atheist, so probably safe there. Then again, my wife is a Baptist, so I don't know. As for the kids, we're not actually going to tell them they won the nobel prize until we drink up the money.
I think this is the crux of the problem. A troubled conscience.
I generally try to avoid ridiculing people, but in cases where people are completely out of touch with reality, it can have a salutary effect.
And btw, who says lesbian mothers can't stay home with their kids? ---
Good point! They must really be a thorn in lesbian mothers sides. (!?!?!)
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