Posted on 05/15/2015 6:35:59 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
The 2016 clown car can't get much longer -- but the Republican National Committee can't be bothered.
The Republican Party has a bit of mess on its hands heading into the 2016 election season. Simply put, too many Republicans want to be president. The field of declared and potential candidates is large and in flux, and this will leave the Republican National Committee with some tough choices to make when debate season starts up. How do they decide who makes the cut for debate invitations? Do they go by polling numbers and risk letting a clown like Donald Trump through while excluding an unpopular sitting governor like Bobby Jindal? And what about Carly Fiorina? She’s currently polling at about one percent, but do they want to run the risk of the horrible PR that would come with excluding the only woman in the GOP field?
It’s a tough issue to resolve. But while the Republican National Committee is trying to restrict who it considers a candidate when it comes to the debates, it’s going in the opposite direction for fundraising purposes. This week the RNC blasted out a “straw poll” that lets the GOP faithful choose from thirty-six potential “nominees” for 2016. And the committee’s method for choosing who it considers a candidate is… unique.
Let’s break down the RNC’s potential presidents into various categories to get a sense of what the hell is going on here.
People Who Are Definitely or Probably Running for President
You all know these names by now. The declared candidates are on there: Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, Ben Carson, Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina. As are the people who are definitely running but aren’t officially “running” yet: Jeb Bush, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie, Scott Walker, Rick Perry, etc. These are the staid choices for people who don’t realize that straw polls are silly time-wasters that let you fake-vote for your favorite freaky niche candidate.
People Who Definitely Are Not Running for President
The RNC also decided to include in its 2016 presidential straw poll several people who have already firmly declared that they are not running for president in 2016. The most notable among them is Mitt Romney, who trolled us all earlier this year about his intentions and fooled Mark Halperin before announcing that he was out of the running. Also included is Ron Paul, who announced almost two years ago that he would not be making another run for the presidency and is unlikely to change his mind, given that one of his spawn is already in the race. Newt Gingrich got the nod despite having taken himself out of the running earlier this year so he could focus on his tech blogging and figuring out what a smartphone is.
And then there’s Condoleezza Rice, who ruled out a 2016 bid last autumn and seemed to close the door on ever entertaining a run for the presidency. After Jeb Bush’s news from yesterday, she stands out as the choice for people who still think the Iraq war was totally worth it.
The Attention Vacuums
Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Herman Cain, Allen West – each one of them is forever at a low-level state of “running for president” because that gives cable news bookers the excuse they need to put these ninnies on the air. They are all ideal straw poll candidates since they are self-evidently clownish, beloved by narrow and misinformed slices of the conservative movement, and they will never, ever be president.
Grab Bag
Whoever made this straw poll got through all the above categories and found that it was still, somehow, lacking for options. So that person apparently just began picking Republican officials at random to throw in there. New Hampshire Sen. Kelly Ayotte, who will be focused on a very tough reelection bid this cycle, made the cut for whatever reason. South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott is on there too after having populated a few “These People Could Run In 2016 If The World Was, Like, Totally Crazy” filler pieces. John Thune? Sure, why not. Whatever. This doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.
Tim Pawlenty
He’s on there. And he’s probably thrilled about it. As thrilled as Tim Pawlenty gets, anyway.
The Next and Greatest President of These United States
Sen. Lindsey O. Graham: The logical choice for voters who love war but also love more war.
This Rando Right Here
Of the names on the straw poll, 35 out of 36 are immediately recognizable to people who closely follow politics. But there’s one name on there that stands out from the crowd of familiars: Mark Everson.
Who the hell is Mark Everson?
Mark Everson happens to be an official candidate for the presidency. He was George W. Bush’s IRS commissioner for a few years and was the CEO of the Red Cross – a job he was forced out of after having an “inappropriate relationship with a female subordinate.”
His platform is… slightly outside the mainstream of Republican policy. “I support an amnesty (to call it anything else is disingenuous) and path to citizenship,” he writes on his website. On the national security front, he calls for reinstating the draft as a means of bridging class divides. He wants to means-test Social Security and is against using dynamic scoring to magically balance budgets. Perhaps most ambitiously, Everson promises that if elected he’ll serve just one term and, in that time, amend the Constitution so that his successors can serve just one five- or six-year term.
And now he’s on a Republican National Committee straw poll alongside Jeb Bush, Donald Trump and Tim Pawlenty. Congrats, Mark! You’ve hit the big time.
So Hermann Cain has an affair and is a clown, Bill Clinton had multiple affairs and was, according to the left, a good president.
Speaking of clowns, PIAPS, Bernie Saunders and Bloomberg, now that’s comedy!
They are running pantsuit and the socialist and they are making fun of us?
Easy way to whittle down the list, eliminate everyone who has already said will not support the rule of law and want to change the laws to benefit fraudulently documented foreigners.
Anyone unwilling to uphold the rule of law should not be President, witness the current one.
That and the fact that we have a lot of exceptional candidates even by our standards.
There’s not much wisdom or intelligence at Salon. I don’t pay any attention to their words. Their blabber is useless.
Salon???? Not the place I go to for advice to conservatives.
With that said, I would gladly take Herman over the idiot brother of W.
I stand with Ted
And why do you believe ANYTHING written and posted in Salon????
Make them all play Celebrity Jeopardy in five groups of three over one week.
The five daily winners get to debate.
I'll take 'What difference does it make?' for $200 Alex.
Did anyone ever produce proof of that or is that just what the media hinted at?
I think the left is jealous. Even our worst candidate (excluding Jeb) is a thousand times better than Shrillary, Fauxahontas, Uncle Joe, Marty the Guitar Player, Lurch, Ozone Al, or any other depraved lefty considering or being considered a candidate for president. The whole article is full of the lefty snark we’ve all become accustomed to.
And why do you believe ANYTHING written and posted in Salon????
BECAUSE Salon was FIRST in choosing George Bush Jr... as candidate.. all others followed..
I thought he was a stealth democrat even then..
AND was gobsmacked when he won the primary...
Were the pubbie primarys RIGGED even then?... YA Think?..
After that Myth Romney was not to so much of a surpise...
Even tho he was a KNOWN collaborator with democrats..
with the political morality of a crack whore..
You know; like Boehner and McConnell....
The GOP’s endless crazy train? Well I guess that’s better than the Democratic Party’s endless entitlement gravy train any day.
Clown car is the left’s big saying. It shows how shallow they are. The so-called clown car has at least four candidates who will crush Hilary.
No, Ted Cruz is the only candidate who will beat Hillary. All of the others are either fools or GOPe’rs or just not ready yet.
Ted will crush Hillary in a LANDSLIDE!
I like Cruz, but you are making some assumptions…too early.
Dear Herman Cain,
You had my vote from the very beginnings of the 2012 campaign season. That BS affair story they pulled on you was even less believable than the crap they tried to pull on Justice Thomas... but apparently it was enough to send you running like a scared dog with his tail between his legs.
I didn’t believe any of it for a second... it was blatantly obvious what was going down... but you chose to believe the phony polls, and didn’t even stick around long enough to get through a single primary. You let me down. Thomas didn’t run... he stuck it out... he didn’t let them win.
Now your coming back for more in 2016?
Think again... don’t bother... you don’t have the gonads.
You won’t have my support this time... Not because of your ideas, values, character, policies, ideas, nor your clear ability to lead. You score an A+ in my book in all of those areas. Unfortunately, you score an F with me in in the category of political courage based solely on your exit in 2012.
We need someone who can stand up to the communists in power... not someone who is going to quit at the first sign of slander.
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