Vanity:MY DAD WAS PUT IN THE HOME TODAY. ALZHIEMERS DISEASE. EARLIER THAN ANTICIPATED

self ^ | 10/19/01 | RaceBannon

[RaceBannon]

Many of us ask for prayer at different times. I admit, I havent always bumped these threads, nor have I always read those who bumped them to me. For that I am sorry. Tonight I must ask for prayer for my family and especially my Mom. My Dad was put in the home today for his Alzhiemers disease.

[RaceBannon]

He was supposed to go tomorrow, but the home told my Mom that he did not have ther proper paperwork ready, so he would go Monday. They called this afternoon, and said that a room was ready now, so my Mom took him in this afternoon.

I was at work, so I couldn't help. 2 of my sisters went with her. When they told my Dad he was staying, he started to cry. He is out of it, he cannot hold a conversation, he babbles, but he has some cognition. He knew what they meant. He knew we sent him there to die because Mom cannot take care of him anymore. He knew he wasn't coming home anymore. He started crying and my sisters and my Mom started crying, and I am glad I wasn't there because I am still crying now as I type this.

I went to say hello tonight and held him and told him I loved him. He knows me, but he cannot respond in an intelligent manner. He does not respond to simple commands like sit down in the chair, or sit down at the table, it is time to eat. The doctor told my Mom it was time 3 years ago. She really put up with it for all these years.

He is in the home now. Even though it was only a day early, I was prepered for Tomorrow, not today, and it hurts like hell. Please think of my Mom. I am more afraid of her giving up now that she is going to sleep alone for the first time in 49 years.

He has had heart problems for almost 26 years now, and we have had MANY scares in that respect. I honestly thought hearing that he died would hurt less than I do now.

Please pray for my mom. Thanks.

[bluesagewoman]

My sister went to a Veteran's home last April. I took care of her for a few years. She had AD, and was only 52. It is so very hard. But, as time goes on, and your loved-one is safe, and becoming more acclimated, it gets easier.

[RaceBannon]

He needs to adjust, for sure. They told me he told them to keep their hands off him. When he is adrenaline rushed, he speaks clearly. Otherwise, he is incoherent. It is strange, to be sure, he makes sense when excited, but when relaxed, he is not understandable.

[prognostigaator]

You have my prayers. You have my thoughts. Every day is so precious....keep those better days you have spent with your dad always in mind.

[Texaggie79]

Prayers coming your way...

[Senator Pardek]

He knew he wasn't coming home anymore. He started crying and my sisters and my Mom started crying, and I am glad I wasn't there because I am still crying now as I type this.

I know how you feel. My mom was diagnosed with this about nine years ago. After she could no longer be cared for, my sisters visited her, and said she broke down crying while saying "I want to go home".

The last real contact I had with her, after her speech and mobility were shot, was when she grabbed my finger, looked in my eyes, and her bloodshot eyes started to tear.

[Feiny]

At least he is in good company.....my prayers are with you.

[ozaukeemom]

You and your family are in our prayers. God Bless you.

[Fred Mertz]

I'll bet your Pop was one fine fellow in his day. I'm sure he kept your big butt in line, Race.

I'll pray for your Mom and I hope you can focus on the positive times and memories.

Tell us the good things about your Pop.

[The KG9 Kid]

Cheers, Race.

[bluesagewoman]

Oh please, realize that a period of adjustment will make all the difference. Don't let your heart break too much. Focus on what is still there. Music? Religion? Photos? Find what is meaningful to him, and emphasise it. In a short while, that will be gone too. Then, just worry if they are content. Alzheimer's really sucks, big time.

[exit82]

Race, you have my prayers. This is such a hard thing.

My 84 year old mom is going this route. It is so sad to see. I pray that your visits to your dad will comfort him, and that once in a while, you'll be able to communicate with him clearly.

[Geronimo]

you are a fine son... and your mom will have that comfort always...

[Chapita]

I understand your emotions; I've been through it. No words can ease the pain. But life goes on and time will ease some of the pain.

Sorry I can't be more positive! Tears are a release!

[dead]

God bless you, Race, and your parents, and the rest of your family.

[Let's Roll]

So, sorry. What a terrible disease. The worst part is the lack of hope. Just so sorry this happened to your family.

[dbwz]

Race, please know you and your family will be in my prayers. My dad didn't have Alzheimer's, but he did have cancer that eventually spread to his brain, and he too eventually lost his ability to communicate. He was an extremely intelligent man with a terrific sense of humor, and despite being witness to what that disease did to him, today I only remember him with all those wonderful qualities. God bless and keep you all.

[onedoug]

These are tests, that most of us must go through in one way, and at some time, or another.

Try to stay strong because your mom, and undoubtedly others will look to you for their own strength.

Pray, as we will for you, and yours.

[DoughtyOne]

There are moments in life that are pretty tough. This is one of them. Accepting the ineveitable for your parents is never easy. When you have to face putting them in a home it's not just saying good-bye, it's saying good-bye and feeling the guilt of not being physically able to provide that care yourself.

You have done the right thing. You've done the only humane thing that you could do for your father, and more importantly for your mother.

Remember when you had to get your kids involved in wholesome activities to keep them out of trouble. I'd like to suggest you do the same for mom. Find some group of older ladies and connect your mom to them. Perhaps one of the best ways to do this is to have her volunteer at the local hospital. There she'll meet other ladies that are hungry for friends their age. She'll connect with other women who've been through the same thing.

I wish you well. I am sorry you are going through this. Many others on the forum feel the same way.

Keep a stiff upper lip. Your dad had to go through something like this with his dad. It's part of life. It's bittersweet, but it can be one of those moments that remind you how much family means.

All the best to you and your family.

Don't feel bad about not entering all the prayer threads. God is always there when you need Him. This is no exception.

Ron