Posted on 01/22/2018 8:26:56 AM PST by Salvation
In his book Humility Rules (which I think should be read as Humility Rules!), Fr. J. Augustine Wetta, O.S.B. offers some insight into the humility of patience, forgiveness, and mercy.
Fr. Wetta recalls a situation in which he was asked to preach at the wedding of his best friend. As a monk, he was not accustomed to in preaching in parish settings and so sought the advice of an older monk:
I went looking for Fr. Luke. He is the founder of our community and has seen pretty much everything a monk can see. I found him asleep in a chair in the calefactory [a warmed sitting room in a monastery]. Wake up, Father, I said, I need something wise to say at my buddys wedding.
Fr. Luke opened his eyes, look around the room for a moment, and then said, Tell them that there will come a day when he will want the window open and she will want the window closed. Then he went back to sleep.
Fr. Wetta observes,
So, true love is more about endurance than it is about chocolates and teddy bears. We prove our love at precisely those moments when the people we love test our patience, put a strain on our kindness, and tempt us to anger. Love is truly loveand not just infatuationwhen it proves itself in the crucible of suffering (Humility Rules, pp. 59-60).
Humility Rules is a wonderful book, well worth reading for its humor, wisdom, and whimsical art. The advice offered is not all that different from what I offer to pre-Cana couples, but Fr. Wetta presents it with more humor.
Patience, magnanimity, and mercy are essential for any relationship, let alone marriage.
Married couples give each other many gifts. Some of them come wrapped in obvious packages such as companionship, intimacy, and completion. Others come in strange packages.
Indeed, a spouse can give his/her partner many opportunities to know what it means to forgive. This is a gift, however strange its package, because Jesus teaches that if we forgive we will be forgiven but if we do not then we may go to Hell.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours (Matt 6:14-15).
Without forgiveness, it is pretty hard to enter glory; with it we stand a good chance.
It is the same with mercy. Jesus says,
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy (Mat 5:7).
James warns,
Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful (James 2:13).
As anyone who has been married for any length of time knows, spouses give each other ample opportunities to practice mercy. Indeed, the debate about the window that Fr. Luke described above may well occur in the limousine ride from the church to the reception hall! This, too, is a gift in strange package. If I show mercy then I will be shown mercy on judgment dayand were all going to need mercy then, lots of it!
Even the difficult parts of marriage, the gifts in strange packages, help to sanctify the husband and wife. St. Paul reminds us, And we know that, for those who love God, all things work together for good (Romans 8:28).
Indeed they do. Dont forget the gifts in strange packages.
We do have married priests. There are two groups. The first are the Eastern Rites and the second is the Anglican Usage Rite.
Maybe, but that doesn’t change what I posted and why.
Also, neither one of those are Orthodox, are they?
“We do have married priests. There are two groups. The first are the Eastern Rites and the second is the Anglican Usage Rite.”
Just wondering what Salvation thinks about that. Interested to see what you have to say.
There are at least 22 or 23 rites in the Catholic Church. Most are Eastern who are united with Rome.
I have asked a married priest, who was grandfathered into the Catholic priesthood, speak at our Serra Club. Most interesting.
And you are correct about the Eastern Rite Churches. If they are NOT married, however, they can be ordained a Bishop.
On the other hand,we don’t have the experience of celibacy, so how can we speak authoritatively about what the celibate know and don’t know?
Yeah. I dont think a book on marital advice has a lot of credibility coming from an order that eschews marriage
My son is training to be a pastor. He is at the end ofv4 years of seminary including a year serving a congregation as a vicar. His wife has been a pillar of support for him through the process and an integral part of the congregation they served. She enriches his ministry not distracts from it. Catholics can have unmarried clergy if they want but saying marriage distracts from ministry age vice versa doesnt fly
There are always exceptions, Mom, although it doesn’t sound like your son is a Catholic Priest.
I’m referring to real men of God; those who pledge their entire being to God Almighty.
by definition your son will be sharing that commitment between the family and the things of this world. Just wait until the kids come.
What I state most certainly does fly. I suggest you do some research beyond your own small world so that you know what you’re talking about.
How dare you. My son is a real Man of God far more than your pedophile priests who devote their lives to molesting children in their care
But even if a clergyman is married, he’s married to only one woman. That doesn’t give a particularly broad experience of being married to women. Maybe clergymen should be polygamists to qualify on giving advice to married couples.
Do you know what it’s like to be married to an abuser? Assuming the answer is no, you still know a good bit about it, how to avoid it, how to end it. If you are a professional who is trained and deals with abuse, you don’t have to be in an abusive marriage to be able to help an give advice, now, do you?
It seems your feelings got hurt.
But it’s better for heretics know the truth, rather than live their life in darkness. Can’t be salt and light to the world like that.
So take heart and remember: ignorance is not a sin...staying that way is.
Im sure but you can be forgiven so take heart . Your ignorance can be cured as well if you wish. My feelings are not hurt but I will not let someone smear the commitment my son has made. And by the way my husband is a man of God who shines the light of Christ into others lives without being clergy. Some of your priests may even be men of God but their marital status has nothing to do with it.
Wow... fascinating chart. Thanks!
Think we should bury the hatchet; we are both born from above (born again) believers in Christ, are we not?
Incidentally, I really never meant to disrespect your son (or you for that matter); this was only about my observations of how the proper role of a Catholic Priest is not compatible with the married life, especially when children become part of the mix.
I do admire, often watch, and have learned much from married evangelists such as Charles Stanley, Billy and Franklin Graham, and others that I have read in books. Yes, they are truly men of God.
I think I was out of line with you. That is unacceptable, particularly since you are obviously a woman of God, and your family has followed your example.
Yours in Christ,
“On the other hand,we dont have the experience of celibacy”
Piss off your wife and you will.
(-;
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