Posted on 09/30/2014 8:53:32 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
he other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “Brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me—there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of course). And now, to prove it, I will give you these twelve quotes. You tell me which are from the fortune cookies and which are from Joel Osteen.
Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz.
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To see the answer, look for the gray underline beneath each question. Simply click and drag under the line to see the response.
Question One
“Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.”
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Fortune Cookie
Question Two
“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.”
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Joel Osteen
Question Three
“Take time to make a difference. Think about how you can make somebody else’s life better.”
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Joel Osteen
Question Four
“Avoid focusing on the negative aspects of the past.”
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Fortune Cookie
Question Five
“You have something to offer that nobody else can give!”
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Joel Osteen
Question Six
“When you can’t naturally feel upbeat, it can sometimes help to act as if you did.”
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Fortune Cookie
Question Seven
“To affirm is to make firm.”
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Fortune Cookie
Question Eight
“Relationships are more important than our accomplishments.”
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Joel Osteen
Question Nine
“Somebody needs your encouragement. Somebody needs to know that you believe in them.”
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Joel Osteen
Question Ten
“The best things in life aren’t things.”
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Fortune Cookie
Question Eleven
“You will produce what you’re continually seeing in your mind.”
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Joel Osteen
Question Twelve
“Judge each day not by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.”
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Fortune Cookie
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So how did you do? I would have loved to be able to package this as a slick little quiz, but unfortunately I couldn’t find software that would do that without either attaching unsuitable ads or otherwise polluting your computer.
Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz.
Now, I say "for Obama."
As in “Do all you can to make your dreams come true - for Obama."
Question Eleven
“You will produce what you’re continually seeing in your mind.”
definitely an OhSteen...
When JO says all paths lead to God and mormonS are Christians, he has left Biblical teachings.
Hundreds if not thousands have been lead away from the Good News.
I’ll take the fortune cookie, plus 2 points.
Name it and claim it feelgood nonsense.
Don’t he and Rick Warren favor chrislam?
Begone emissaries of the devil!
I’m only peripherally familar with oh steen but I sense from what ive heard that he does indeed see God as his servant...rather than the other way around....
The right people, the right breaks, the right answers have already been lined up. Everything you need is in your future.
Question: What’s the biggest difference between Osteen and a fortune cookie?
Answer: The cookie wouldn’t attend a queer wedding.
Well he is only peripheraly aquanted with Scripture!
the very periphery!
I get the sense that he might start doing buddhist..”sermons” soon
“As a man thinketh, so is he.”
Can we please get Joel Osteen and ISIS together?
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