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ASK FATHER: Baptizing aliens who burst into flames from water. No. Really.
WDTPRS ^ | September 25, 2014 | Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Posted on 09/25/2014 3:49:56 PM PDT by NYer

From a reader (who has sent queries before about a writing project):

I’m sorry if I’m been annoying at all in the past. But I have another question this one is for a writing project that might never get off the ground, but in case it does. Could water that is extratrestrial in origin e.g from a comet or another planet be valid matter for baptism?

I parried back:

Water is water. H2O. Right?

And I went about my day, self-assured in my concise response.

The inquirer reposted:

Yep, essentially. But there exist other types of water like D2O [which everyone knows is deuterium oxide or heavy water] H2O+ [can't say I know that one] (3)H2O [or that one] there are also a couple of newly discovered forms which are both liquid and solid simultaneously. Which shouldn’t be possible but it exists. [That sounds sort of like triple point, but not quite. I have my doubts that the states are simultaneous. Three states can coexist at triple point, but they are different. Right?] Ain’t God wonderful. [No argument there.] Anyway now that I think about it, I have another idea that works better. I can simply make the person reviving baptism have a non-water biochemistry, picture the a human preist baptizing an alein [truly alien, since we don't reverse e and i that often] only to have said alien burst into flames, or an alien baptizing a human only the alien understands “water” to be hydrogen cyanide, …

?!?!?

I hope this isn’t the old dihydrogen monoxide scam again.

Okay… I’ve got nothing.

Nope, I just got something.

From Daniel 3:

O all ye waters that are above the heavens, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all for ever. [...] O every shower and dew, bless ye the Lord: praise and exalt him above all for ever. [65] O all ye spirits of God, bless the Lord: praise and exalt him above all for ever. [...] O ye dews and hoar frosts, bless the Lord: praise and exalt him above all for ever. [...] O ye ice and snow, bless the Lord: praise and exalt him above all for ever.

The next one is of the creepy M. Night Shyamalan movie Signs. It starts out all light-hearted and then, suddenly, gets really creepy. But I don’t post spoilers and neither should you. I really hate spoilers (advance descriptions) and I really resent spoilers (the people who spoil). Take that hint. I ban those people.

Water that is liquid and solid at the same time? I take it that this is way beyond the whole liminal state situation wherein the introduction of additional energy can suddenly push the liquid into another state (which I once accomplished in my Rome apartment with beer bottles in a freezer, while now-Archbp. Sample, a metalurgist by training, explained what was happening…. What a rich life I’ve led).

Okay, in the future, if we find that there is life-out-there and that life-out-there wants to be Christian, but that life-out-there takes a real dim view of water (as in bursting into flames at the touch of water – alas, Jar Jar is not one of them), how do we baptize aliens?

Could this be an out? The Church says that we baptize humans with water. Perhaps Holy Mother Church could allow baptism of aliens with, say, liquid helium – which would be exciting, or nitrogen tetroxide - which could be interesting, in tense way, or may even with really pure hydrogen peroxide – which could do a bang up job of it, or perhaps also digoxin – which might require immediate Extreme Unction.

As for the alien baptizing the human with hydrogen cyanide… ad astra per ardua, after all. Who said being Christian was easy? Whatever else it might be, it ain’t a piece of yellow-cake.


TOPICS: Catholic; Ministry/Outreach; Religion & Science; Theology
KEYWORDS: aliens; baptism; frjohnzuhlsdorf; water; wdtprs
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1 posted on 09/25/2014 3:49:56 PM PDT by NYer
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To: Tax-chick; GregB; Berlin_Freeper; SumProVita; narses; bboop; SevenofNine; Ronaldus Magnus; tiki; ...

No, this is not an episode from the Twilight Zone, Ping!


2 posted on 09/25/2014 3:50:33 PM PDT by NYer ("You are a puff of smoke that appears briefly and then disappears." James 4:14)
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To: NYer

But what if the Aliens bring a new message? Just saying.


3 posted on 09/25/2014 3:51:20 PM PDT by Dallas59
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To: NYer

I can see my sons getting really into this. If we begin converting space aliens, Tom may decide he has a religious vocation after all, especially is combustion is involved ...


4 posted on 09/25/2014 3:54:34 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I can play the piano just as well with or without shoes.)
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To: NYer

Put down the bong and set away from the keyboard please!


5 posted on 09/25/2014 3:55:12 PM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: NYer

6 posted on 09/25/2014 3:56:00 PM PDT by Brother Cracker (You are more likely to find krugerrands in a Cracker Jack box than 22 ammo at Wal-Mart)
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To: NYer

Apparently you’ve never heard of the burning springs in NYS.


7 posted on 09/25/2014 3:57:35 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: NYer

http://nyhistoric.com/2012/10/burning-springs/


8 posted on 09/25/2014 3:59:39 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: NYer

H’mmmm a novel way to close our southern border if true. Have dozens of priests and ministers there to baptize the illegal aliens after they cross the Rio Grande or are release by the border police.


9 posted on 09/25/2014 4:00:45 PM PDT by GreyFriar (Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
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To: NYer

Fortunately, the dihydrogen monoxide scam only seems to work on committed environmentalists. It should be hard to spout even junk science when one has evidently never taken or passed a high school chemistry course, but apparently not.


10 posted on 09/25/2014 4:09:46 PM PDT by katana (Just my opinions)
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To: NYer

If the alien life-forms were based on Sodium instead of Carbon ...


11 posted on 09/25/2014 4:44:50 PM PDT by FroggyTheGremlim ("Your apathy is their power." - Sarah Palin Jul 19, 2014)
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To: eCSMaster

Whoosh.


12 posted on 09/25/2014 4:48:30 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I can play the piano just as well with or without shoes.)
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To: Dallas59

**But what if the Aliens bring a new message? Just saying.**

Would you then stop believing in a Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit?

Beware of false prophets.


13 posted on 09/25/2014 4:49:14 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Salvation
Would you then stop believing in a Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit?

Indians stopped believing in a lot of things when Columbus came to the shore.

14 posted on 09/25/2014 4:52:07 PM PDT by Drew68
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To: eCSMaster
If the alien life-forms were based on Sodium instead of Carbon ...

I don't know about all that, but the silicon based life forms seem to thrive:


15 posted on 09/25/2014 5:02:06 PM PDT by Sirius Lee (All that is required for evil to advance is for government to do "something")
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To: Sirius Lee

Seems like kind of big woman ... those might be natural.


16 posted on 09/25/2014 5:03:37 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I can play the piano just as well with or without shoes.)
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To: NYer

I was surprised Fr. Z. never brought up the main point: The Church and the Sacraments are for humans only, because Jesus took a human nature.

It would make sense for aliens to BELIEVE the Catholic Faith, but it is human nature that is the link between us humans and Jesus Christ.

OTOH: One could argue that the very central essential note of human nature—that we are rational/spiritual animals, would mean that aliens would be similar in nature to Jesus Christ.


17 posted on 09/25/2014 5:03:54 PM PDT by Arthur McGowan
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To: Tax-chick
those might be natural.

Don't ruin the surprise. Some things need to be discovered first hands.

18 posted on 09/25/2014 5:06:59 PM PDT by Sirius Lee (All that is required for evil to advance is for government to do "something")
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To: Arthur McGowan
One could argue that the very central essential note of human nature—that we are rational/spiritual animals, would mean that aliens would be similar in nature to Jesus Christ.

That's what I would argue.

19 posted on 09/25/2014 5:09:29 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I can play the piano just as well with or without shoes.)
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To: NYer; metmom; Alex Murphy
The "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin" question of our time.

Pope Francis Says He Would Definitely Baptize Aliens If They Asked Him To
Does Jesus save aliens?
Pope says baptism is for everyone, even Martians

20 posted on 09/25/2014 5:15:07 PM PDT by Gamecock
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