Skip to comments.My Gay Roommate
Posted on 01/21/2013 11:12:50 AM PST by rhema
Tim and I met a few years ago at a 24 watch party. His natural intelligence, unabashed geekiness, and Snaps skills made us quick friends. Plus, he managed a Starbucks so there was free coffee in it for me.
Before long, I needed a new place to live and so did he. With a third friend, we rented a house together. Our friendship grew. Soon, I discovered that Tim is a serious Christian whose poignant reflections on faith and life set him apart from the pack. He was an usher in my wedding. One day, Tim told me that he had been in a years-long battle with same-sex attraction. Thus began a new aspect of our friendship.
I dont know if my feeble attempts to support him helped at all, but Tims transparency was important for me. I learned a lot about the many different ways individuals experience homosexual inclination, the extent of sexual promiscuity amongst gays, and what is and isnt helpful for those of us seeking to love our friends and family members grappling with homosexuality.
One lesson in particular stands out from the rest. Tim vacillated between acceptance of his sexual inclinations and the greater calling of his faith for years before finally finding rest in the decision to let Jesus be enough. That arduous journey was made much, much more difficult by voices from within the Church encouraging him to embrace his inclination to homosexuality.
During times when I wonder if my work with the Manhattan Declaration is worth it, I think about Tim. I imagine what it would be like if friends, counselors, pastors, and theologians worked to convince me that my greatest struggles with sin were unnecessary. That to be prideful, lusty, and greedy is just how I was made and that God loves me just the same. How tempting to believe such a lie! How much would I need voices of truth reminding me of my higher calling? To remind me that while God loves me just as I am, He loves me enough to make possible something greater?
When it comes to policy, Gods purpose for each human life is not an argument that yields great results in the public square. And thats okay. Science, reason, and experience ought to form the basis of our arguments; ultimately, all truth points to the Creator. But the Manhattan Declaration is about much more than just public policy. Its subtitle is A call of Christian conscience. We aim to remind the Church of its role as the voice of Truth, no matter the prevailing tides in the broader culture or politics. To speak Truth is to love.
Learn more about Tims story in his own words! Check out the video below.
What’s a 24 watch party..? What are snapz skillz..?
A “serious Christian” is not going to be a homosexual unless they are celibate and repetent about it
Thank God his college friend knew how to respond in a loving and healing way to his confession.
We all struggle with one call to the wild or other. We are blessed if it is not addictive mind altering, soul distroying substance abuse, criminality or sexual obsessions and addictions. That is a hard row to hoe.
That’s an infected row to NOT hoe.
I knew a number of gay men in college. One was grad student who rented a big house off campus, from which some friends and I sub-rented rooms.
“Dave” was a bright guy, funny and didn’t really “act gay.” We would occasionally meet his “boyfriends” though. Its where I started to get the idea that homosexuality is inextricably linked with mental disease. These “boyfriends” were almost to a one quite troubled - addictions of all kinds, unstable family backgrounds, flighty, nervous, sometimes suicidal, and even often victims of violence (from other gays).
I felt sorry for most of them, as they all seemed to be fighting some very strong demons.
A 24 watch party I’m familiar with. Its getting together with friends to watch Keifer Sutherland kill terrorists. Snaps skills? Haha, you got me there!
As I read the article, that’s the decision the gay guy made. He couldn’t help his inclination, but he decided to resist them and center his life on Christ.
>>> voices from within the Church encouraging him to embrace his inclination to homosexuality.>>>
In the 1930’s the Church was invaded by Communists pretending to be Catholic in order to enter the seminaries. In the years since, they’ve become priests, pastors, bishops. Their stealth and lying went unknown until the law suits began. Pray for your church, whichever Christian religion it is. Report them to whatever authority is above them.
That’s what I got out of it too. I believe homosexuality is a form of sexual addiction, it’s not unlike other addictions. It doesn’t need to rule you either. He’s finding power through Christ to live a life on a better foundation. I hope he gets a wife, has kids, grand-kids - all to enjoy and support him as he gets old...all while avoiding the very real health implications of being in the gay community.
The mistake our society is making is telling people that if they think, at a young age, they have some “same sex inclinations” that they should embrace them, engage in and celebrate. It doesn’t mean though that a young person can’t be influenced by culture to be less likely to adopt a certain orientation (naturally, not intimidation) - I don’t believe it is fixed at birth, just influenced by many factors. In our pop-culture, good luck - the message is clear, go for it (for all things “sex”). You can only ignore the consequences of sexual immorality to be okay with it. Even when the consequences happen, the connection isn’t made either (blame others).
An article on the subject:
How Support for Abortion Became Kennedy Dogma [and the priests who encouraged this heresy]
...most of the ones I’ve known are the most insecure and emotionally immature people I’ve ever met. I can understand the insecurity, it’s more of the emotional maturity that seems to be more of the issue.
So...yes, many demons, I also feel sorry for them. Many never knew much of a normal life and have embraced a lifestyle that will never give them one either :( ...it will only bring them pain. Nobody likes to talk about the negatives of being gay, there’s so many (health, no kids, etc.)...how can that lead to happiness?
True. But it sounds like this guy decided to be celibate.
I believe “snaps” means photography.
This is a very touching post.
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Excellent article! I was scared when I saw the headline... Thanks for posting it, rhema.
A serious Christian is not going to be a homosexual unless they are celibate and repetent about it
A serious Christian is not going to be a drunkard
A serious Christian is not going to be unfaithful
A serious Christian is not going to be envious
A serious Christian is not going to be deceitful
I always thought a “serious Christian” was a sinner who needs Christ.
I agree, someone cannot be a "serious Christian" and live an immoral lifestyle of any kind.
Everyone has their own set of struggles and weaknesses in temptation. I really feel sorry for someone who is tempted in that area.
It's that *sin that so easily besets us* thing.
I'm happy that "Tim" has discovered that the Lord gives strength to those who desire to obey Him regardless of their human wants OR needs. Many people do as he said, even in some churches, and they actually encourage others to do things they KNOW is a sin, all in the attempt to appear "cool" or with it or understanding. Homosexuality is certainly nothing new. It obviously was a problem almost from the time mankind began, and God NEVER condoned the actions - He calls it an abomination. Just as He does, we should love the sinner (since we all are sinners) but hate the sin and we CAN help fellow Christians to overcome any sin in their lives so that they are free to serve God in truth and honor Him with bodies that are "living sacrifices" to His glory.
I have known quite a few gay & lesbians, and can count on one hand, not a full hand, the “stable” ones. And of those, only one seemed to be pretty downright normal. All of the others make me sad to think about what went wrong in their lives, what terrible burden that they must be carrying, that only faith and forgiveness can heal.
You might try reading the article to its conclusion before posting. Just a thought.
In this piece the subliminal message is 'we're all sinners and God loves us so it's OK to be gay' because no one's perfect'. It's the old 'everyone's doing it so don't judge' crap that every liberal uses as their mantra.
But of course liberals do judge, and very harshly. They judge conservatives, traditional values, loving families, being honest, telling the truth... etc...
Excellent article; thanks for posting...