Posted on 08/27/2006 7:55:46 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
10. You start what you think is a really good Amish blog and your only visitors are Hutterites.
9. You are met with cold stares while attempting to discuss the latest episode of "The Sopranos" with the Elders.
8. You kind of enjoy "being out among them English".
7. You've eschewed the traditional Amish beard for a "Crowder".
6. You continually violate The Ordnung by reading the Message/Remix outloud at worship.
5. You sew shiny buttons on your shirt in a vain attempt to get shunned.
4. Yours is the only Horse Buggy in Lancaster County with airbrushed flames on the side.
3. Your Pacifism keeps interfering with your desire to become a Navy Seal.
2. You skip Eli Van Dorn's Barn Raising to watch "Home Improvement" reruns at your Mennonite neighbor?s house.
1. Plain just doesn't cut it anymore.
*I'd really like some feedback from my Amish readers on this one, Thanks!
THIS IS SATIRE. HUMOR.
You all remember "laughing" - that thing that you used to do, in response to watching "Gilligan's Island", before you became a Christian? Laughter is what your pastor is trying to provoke in you, when he tells those bad jokes at the beginning of his sermon. Right before "putting His enemies under his feet" (Psalm 110), IMO "getting Christians to laugh" must be the second-to-the-last thing that Christ will accomplish before the Second Coming.
| In Ecclesiastes 2:2, the author complains that laughter is "madness", asking "what does it accomplish?" Psalm 2:4 tells us that God, in heaven, laughs and scoffs at the kings of this earth "in derision". Psalm 37:13 says the Lord laughs at the wicked, for "their day is coming". But for the faithful, Genesis 21:6 tells us that laughter is an appropriate response to God's blessings, Job 8:21 promises laughter for those afflicted by Satan, and Psalm 126:2 says laughter is a sign to unbelieving nations that God has done great things for us. As Christians, we should learn to laugh more. |
That said, why do I include all these warnings, sirens, and sledgehammer-to-the-head graphics telling you not to take this seriously? Recently, a poster claimed that every one of my posts "end up making FReepers look publicly stupid." Please remember that those are not my words. While I'm appreciative of the compliment, I can't exactly brag about my I.Q. (I know at least four current- and former-FReepers who have I.Q.s from twenty to fifty points HIGHER than mine, so what bragging rights does that leave me?). Said poster insisted that I provide sufficient warnings on all my humor threads, in advance, telling you that you're about to read something ficticious and humorous. This is needed, apparently, to prevent you from having to think about what you're reading, and hurting yourself in the process. If it makes you feel any better, please know that I give you all more credit than that, but others don't. They thought that you looked stupid on my earlier threads, and that you needed these warning labels.
Mel Brooks (not a Christian) once defined laughter in this way: "Tragedy is me cutting my finger. Comedy is you getting eaten by a tiger." Take that for what it's worth.
Oh, praise the Lord! Free Republic has a new ping list! And YOU can join it now! FReepmail me if you want to be added to The Free Republic PTL Ping List and HAIR Club!
This should never happen to anybody. Don't let this happen to you! Join the pinglist now!
So what are YOU waiting for? Join The Free Republic PTL Ping List and HAIR Club TODAY! FReepmail me for details!
PTL=Pardon The Laughing HAIR=Hilariously Ablutionary Irreverent Reading
PTL Ping List and HAIR Club PING!
My sense of humor is a God given gift and that right there was funny, I don't care who ya are.
I want on your list please!
So is it just me or does Benny Hinn actually have a trained wolverine living on his head?
}:-)4
geez, now i've got that wierd al song stuck in my head now.
We discussed Benny's hair on my last humor thread. Check it out!
I have to admit, I like this one. Is it really any worse than the Benny Hinn stuff just below? Personally I want to see a Benny HILL ministry.
Did you here this on the Amish Radio Network?
I keep getting the feeling that Benny is getting fingerprints on my computer screen.
Knock it off, man! You're smearing the screen!
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