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I find myself at a loss.

Sounds like very good and practical advise from a guy who knows all about what really goes on.

I think Arnold is a little more media savy than Jesse.

Whatever else anybody thinks about Jesse Ventura, he demonstrated enormous class by storming out of the Wellstone fune-rally and pulling his support from the Dems. It cost them a LOT.

re JESSE (the bald headed dolt) VENTURA
My mother always said if you can't say something nice about someone don't say anything.

goodbye

Republican or Democrat, it makes no difference: people don't like politicians.

This is what it's all about to a lot of Californians now.

Jesse vs Arnold in steel cage match...great fundraiser.

[THIS ADDENDUM TO JESSE'S LETTER WAS FORGOTTEN IN THE NATIONAL PRESS - RELIABLE KNOWLEDGE OF VENTURA IS GENERALLY NOT KNOWN OUTSIDE OF MINNESOTA AND EVEN THEN, ONE MUST BE THOROUGHLY WEANED FROM THE MILK OF THE SOCIALIST TEAT. WITH THAT PROVISO, I SUBMIT THE FORGOTTEN POST SCRIPT...]

P.S. Oh yeah, Arnold, one or two more things I forgot...

1.) Be sure you get your music, MTV, and book deals upfront. The movie and television appearances can be a 50 now and 50 later thing.

2.) Copyright your status ASAP. I got Gov. Jesse and all variations locked up before the vote count was finished. This leapfrogs into brand name legal rights for your action figures, comics and personal visage branded into novelties.

3.) Talk like a big tough guy at every opportunity. This keeps the 'maverick' fantasy going for idiot voters that are sick of the status quo and some of the conservatives that desperately want action. You can stroke these blocs for your entire term and they'll always stupidly side with you.

4.) Let your homey Leftists do your daily work. Then you can go and hang out with the crew and smoke that cigar. Heck, in between fattening my wallet, I used to hang out with Clinton and smoke his soggy Havanas all the time.

5.) Make sure the legislation you really hammer home is what you care about personally. For me, I campaigned on concealed carry reform and never did jack for anyone else when I got the power to issue a permit to myself in the first week in office. Too bad, chumps! Oh yeah, don't forget the stuff that pisses you off. For me, it was lowering the cost of licensing my kid's Porsche and all of our jet-ski watercraft. I mean, you only got so much time if you work 4 hours a day, you gotta champion the stuff that's really important to your wallet.

6.) Piss and moan about the press all the time. The right wingers love it because they're reflexive, but avoid letting on that your problems with the press actually have more to do with being an ignorant, self-serving dork than any kind of ideological difference. I mean, hey, when I got into office I didn't even know how to spell ideological let alone know what it means so don't be put off by bad press. The press ALWAYS looks like a group of *ssholes to anybody that can actually read.

Well, that's about it. Oh yeah, one more thing...

Whatever you do, don't let anyone from California ever give the dope on what you do. I just let the twerps in the national media paint me as a independant conservative (and you know that ain't true) and I've been living off the reputation ever since. Just remember that P.T. Barnum had it right about suckers and most of them seem to have been born into conservative families.