The Constitution of the United States (Maureen Dowd, guest editor)

iowahawk ^ | 6/6/03 | iowahawk

[IowaHawk]

Preamble We... Order ... perfect ... Welfare

Article I All.. taxes shall be ... passed

Article II President ... shall be ... executed

Article III Aid... treason

Article IV The Citizens of each State ... shall be ... in ... Labour ... Party

Article V Die Catherine Zeta Jones, DIE

Article VI All Debts... shall be... valid

Article VII GO WASHINGTON

Amendments

1. make... religion... of the press... people
2. Arms, shall not be
3. Peace
4. The right ... shall... be violated
5. No person ... shall be... deprived of... compensation
6. the accused shall enjoy
7. Suits! Twenty Dollars!
8. [Zeta-Jones is]... cruel and unusual
9. disparage... people
10. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE, MICHAEL F***ING DOUGLAS, DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME
11. The United States... shall... be... prosecuted... by... any Foreign State.
12. The Electors... transmit... death... to the... President
13. [Take me back Michael I will be your] slave
14. being twenty-one years of age... is... a crime
15. Vote... on account of race
16. Income Taxes! Income Taxes! Income Taxes!
17. Laugh now, Catherine Zeta-B*tch, you'll be old and barren someday too
18. mmmmm.... intoxicating liquors
19. citizens of the United States... shall not be denied... sex MICHAEL GODDAMN DOUGLAS
20. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end
21. mmmmm.... intoxicating liquors
22. prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President
23. I swear officer, I wasn't stalking him, I am a member of the press
24. President...failure
25. President...death
26. [that homewrecking bimbo can't be] 18 years of age or older
27. DID CATHERINE ENJOY HER BOILED BUNNY MICHAEL? TAKE ME BACK, WE BELONG TOGETHER

[LiteKeeper]

LOL

[Librarina]

IowaHawk! My hero! Where you *been*, for Lord's sake??

I got tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed while I cry over missing you!

[Cable225]

It's an instant classic!

[sinclair]

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP

[SAMWolf]

LOL! You sure the Clinton's didin't help her write this?

[bootless]

Hilarious! BUMP!

[johnfl61]

Another bunch of junk from the Rat Moronic Dunce.

[#3Fan]

LOL Very good!

[habs4ever]

superb...

[Just another Joe]

Another bunch of junk from the Rat Moronic Dunce.

I get the feeling that you guys don't like each other.

[dighton]

Outstanding, IowaHawk, just outstanding.

[johniegrad]

Thanks for the bump. This guy does good work.

[Poohbah]

Dude, once again you prove that you're the master.

[aculeus]

Excellent!

[Larry Lucido]

Not her best work. Maybe she had Zeta-Jones on her mind or something.

[dighton]

Bump for the morning crew.

[OXENinFLA]

that's some funny stuff.

[Miss Marple]

[hellinahandcart]

"Weeping helplessly into my coffee" bump...