Michael Moore's A Big Fat Dummy...Or, A Rebuttal To His Stupid Letter To Prez. Bush

Get a CLUE!! Over 70% of the American population support our president!! Your self-loathing anti-Americanism doesn't wash here...You've been exposed for what you are, a big fat America hater. You have now joined the Tom Dasshole camp of silly little (well, not so little in your case) men who have become politically irrelevent. Hopefully one day you will learn the lesson that Saddam Hussein and the terrorists of the world are on the verge of learning...DON'T MESS WITH AMERICA!

Jon Alvarez Syracuse, NY Why we fight: In Our Name- Pledge of Support to President Bush Visit Alvy's forum:

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A Letter to George W. Bush on the Eve of War By Michael Moore, MichaelMoore.com March 17, 2003

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually no one in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are passionate about wanting to kill Iraqis. You won't find them! Why? 'Cause no Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans – the ones who never elected you – are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives – and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: Two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars – the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a Sin. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only one (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't think so? Well, hey, guess what – we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers – Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. – spent many years in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do – tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up – there is good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner – and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows – maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like that! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis – they got our oil!!

I plagarized the following directly from http://www.rachaellucas.com because I have no idea how to embed it with html for everyone to read:

Michael Moore is a lying bastard

OH. MY. GOD. I took a deep breath, clicked over to Michael Moore's web site, read his "letter" to Bush, let out the breath with a stream of vile curse words, stared out the window for a minute wondering if I should even bother, and then decided that I must, because some people actually believe the words that jackass writes. And he's really topped himself this time.

Because he doesn't even deserve to be "fisked," I'm going to use my favorite "interpretation" technique. So here's Moore's obnoxious, lie-packed "letter", with what he really meant to say.

Dear Governor Bush:

"Dear President Bush, I hate the fact that you won the election, so I'm going to snidely call you 'governor.' I'm a real asshat that way."

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more.

"So today you're finally telling France to stuff it, which is the right thing to do and deep down, I know it. But I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived, because I gotta tell ya, I was running out of crap to write about you and now I can pander to all the morons who take me seriously."

So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

"So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got stuff to say, much like I did back on 'Payback Tuesday' - you know, when I said it was going to be the most humiliating election for Republicans ever. I had to delete that crap from my web site, and I'll delete this, too, if I have to. I have no shame."

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

"I am a big fat liar. All the polls show that over 70% of Americans support the war, and I know that. It doesn't matter though, because within my circle, everyone hates you. Never mind that my circle consists of other deluded jackasses like myself. Anyway, pay attention to the way I phrased it: No one is 'gung-ho' or 'passionate' about 'killing Iraqis.' It's completely irrelevant to me and all the idiots who listen to me that you have never implied or suggested that any American is any of those things. But if I imply that you yourself are gung-ho and passionate about killing Iraqis, stupid people will believe me. It's totally cool!"

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

"One of my favorite ways to manipulate stupid people is to constantly say that the 'majority of Americans never elected' you, Mr. Bush. Makes it sound like you lost the election. I don't bother explaining that the 'majority' of Americans didn't even vote at all, and that of those who did, the 'majority' didn't vote for Al Gore, either. I know damn well you and Gore each got 48% of the vote. And I also like to insult your intelligence with not-very-clever jabs about I and Q. Blah, blah, the economy and gas prices, blah blah. I'm doing fine, what with my millions of books sold, but whatever. I'm a liberal and I speak for the little people!"

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

"I don't hesitate to say fantastically stupid things like Saddam Hussein is more popular than George Bush. Haha! Bill Maher is a dipstick but whatever. And I really love hyperbolic lies more than anything, so I've no qualms about saying the 'whole world' is against you, including America. I know these things are not true. I do not care."

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

"I'll use the Pope against you now because I can, even though I know damn well that the Pope also says abortion is a sin (I support abortion), that birth control is a sin (I support birth control), and that divorce is a sin (I support divorce - I've had one myself!). And then my trump card, the Dixie Chicks! Yeah that's right. I've completely ignored the massive, overwhelming backlash against the Chicks ever since they came out against you, because it's much better to pretend that they're representative of 'regular Americans' than to admit that half the radio stations in the country have banned them. And I am very consciously aware that you are in fact not an 'army of one', because like I said before, I know the polls say over 70% of Americans support the war, but whatever. It's more fun to lie. I make money by telling lies, you know."

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

"I will now engage in a cherished liberal tactic: Insisting you have no right to support something you won't personally sacrifice for. It's the chickenhawk argument, and boy do I loooove it even though it's illogical and nonsensical. I prefer to pretend I don't know that millions of Americans do have loved ones in the armed forces, and also support the war."

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers -- Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. -- spent many years in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

"Finally, I love France. Because they disagree with you. And I'll use the Revolutionary War to support my ridiculous argument, but if you dare bring up World War II to do the same, I'll curl up into the fetal position. Just look at all the great things France has done! Built us a statue, invented the Chevy and movies. Of course, Americans invented just about everything else, but dammit, who cares? I love the French because they hate you, and that works for me because it helps me sell books. Also, I would again like to show that I am a typical arrogant liberal, by saying 'you should see the world before you can have an opinion.' Yes, I had an opinion before I got out of Flint and became a millionaire, but don't you worry about that. This is about loving the French and hating George Bush."

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it's some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

"Blah, blah...childish sarcasm....yadda, yadda...'regular-Joe' vernacular...blah, blah....the economy...blah, blah."

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!

"It's all about The Oooooiiiiiiilllllllllll™!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yours,

Michael Moore

"Yours,

A proven liar who has become a millionaire by catering to the most ignorant among us,

Michael Moore."

Again, this is from http://www.rachellucas.com. (Rachel, I love your work. But you already knew that! :-D )

Okay, I'll bite..... Dear Governor Bush:

Yeah, I get your subtle reminder of your inability to come to terms with the election you guys lost. Grow up and get over it.

Conniving? But you said President Bush is a "moron?" How much conniving can you do as a "moron?" And a list of the so called "lies" would be appreciated. Just the first 440 or so will do. Or one, even. And then tell us how Clinton justified his bombing of Iraq, and how it is different.

As said above, the polls indicate otherwise. Nobody wants to kill the Iraqi people, just the big fat mentally ill one and his genetically deficient sons. I guess you like him because he won HIS election with 99% approval, right Mikey? Funny how you don't care a whit about what the Iraqi people have been BEGGING us to do: invade. They have even told Tom Brokaw this!! Put down the chips, lift your carcass off the sofa and go talk to some real, uncensored Iraqis. There are millions of them.

It is so easy to forget that the economic decline began a year into Clinton's last term (which they lied about by falsely inflating the projections by 30%). The Enron debacle and others all began in the early 90's with Chris Dodd's legislation that removed oversight of the accounting/advising relationship of accounting firms like Arthur Anderson, and florished under the "watchful eye" of Janet Reno. Bush's only crime was inheriting Clintons mistakes, and prosecuting companies like Enron and Arthur Anderson, something Clinton never found time for between BJs.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

Ah yes, the intellectual giant, Bill Maher. Who called the 9/11 terrorists "brave." That would sure be my first choice for political commentary. Is Kuwait against us, or the 45 other countries (including the silenced Iraqi people?

The Pope is entitled to his opinions, including those that say that pedophile priests are not so bad. We won't mention the Crusades or the Spanish Inquisition, both supported by the papal authorities of the time. Would it be okay if we were liberating Christians? Where was the Pope on Rwanda? Why are the Dipsy Twits even worthy of mention?

Why don't you go and be a human shield? You could cover (pun intended) a whole building yourself!! Maybe you could enlist just for the dietary benefits!! And the haircut.

I think we paid back France in spades in both World Wars. From your clear example, world travel is no cure for ignorance. (bet you were peeved when they started to charge big boned folks like yourself double fares!) It should also be interesting to see what sort of deals our "friend" France cooked up with Iraq, and is so desperately trying to conceal.

Actually, weapons of mass destruction are the great equalizer, as North Korea is proving daily. For all intents and purposes, the USSR was (and may still be in large part) a third world country, and look what nukes did for them. By the way, the Dow has been jumping by leaps and bounds since the President stopped screwing around with the UN and did their job for them.

But, hey, who knows – maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like that! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis – they got our oil!!

Maybe we will. Bonus time!! We are getting closer, taking another criticism away from you. If we wanted Iraqi oil we could have a) taken it outright in 1991; or b) lifted the UN sanctions and no-fly zones and let Iraq pump and sell all it wanted to. We are giving it back to the Iraqi people, just like we did for the Kuwaitis.

Yours,

No likely. You really need to clean up your act, practice some good grooming and hygiene, and get laid. Something is really clogging up your brain.

Michael Moore

www.michaelmoore.com

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