Posted on 01/07/2024 3:35:33 AM PST by marktwain
INDIANAPOLIS — As police lights illuminate an apartment complex on the city's northeast side following a fatal shooting, brighter light shines on a bigger issue.
Domestic violence.
"I just know what he's capable of doing and last night something just told me, 'OK, I just need to protect myself,'" said a woman who was being abused by her boyfriend but did not want to be identified.
The woman said she shot and killed her boyfriend while he was attacking her inside the apartment Thursday night.
"He was strangling me, and I tried to push him back, but he was getting stronger and just more physical and that's when I fell back, and he was just lunging towards me. I don't know because he will just start wailing off on me and so, I just shot him," explained the woman.
She said over the course of their relationship, she's gotten five no contact orders and an order of protection against him.
Despite going back to the relationship, she said, "I know it's not love, but I know, he's a broken and a troubled person, and you know me, just being the person that I am, I'm always trying to heal and fix everything and everybody, and that's what I was trying to do with him."
According to Women Against Abuse, a domestic violence nonprofit, it takes an average of seven attempts for a survivor to leave their abuser and stay separated for good. The organization says it could be dangerous for the victim to leave or the victims believes the person will change over time.
"Yes, he was abusive, but that was my best friend and I love him, and I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I really don't," explained the woman as she cried.
And while she may be heartbroken over what happened, she has a piece of advice for women - something she wish she would have taken before it got to this point.
"It's not always that easy, but I would try and get out of the situation, or I would try, and you know, have a way to protect yourself if it ever comes to that, you know," she said.
I’ve never had to kill a girlfriend to break up with her, which is a good thing, because I think men are expected to just walk away from relationships that aren’t working or that they no longer desire to be in.
In this day and time, why do women stay with men that abuse them? I told my husband from day one, 40 years ago, that if he ever hits me, we’re done. He never has. I was a hot-headed redhead in our younger years, and I think he might have been afraid for his life. LOL
I have mellowed out, a lot! Still, nobody has to die over it. Just walk away.
So I can start using this excuse for politicians?
Although it might temp you, I’d refrain from doing that. At least for now.
That's the reaction of most women. But not all.
There are some women who appear to be addicted to the adrenaline rush of being with an unpredictably violent man. They crave that excitement, like some men crave dangerous sports. That's why they keep going back
Erin Pizzy, founder of the UK's first battered women's shelter, made that observation decades ago, and got a lot of flack from feminists over the book she wrote, "Prone to Violence".
I once had a case where the potential defendant testified before the grand jury. Before expiring, her boyfriend told us that he regularly beat her up. She walked.
Yes. Leave. I have heard it all from these women. They don’t want to leave the microwave behind was the one that took the cake.
Get the kids from school and leave. Get your self a job and support yourself and leave.
Oh, another one was well, he makes over a hundred thousand a year. Good one. Great reason to exist as the bass turd’s punching bag.
These women are pathetic. I say that as a woman. Thank God one who who has been threatened but never hit.
I have heard people say the sex, when they make up, is fantastic...
If I was a juror in this case I'd want to see evidence of abuse before I decided what punishment,if any,she deserved. ER reports...police reports...unbiased witnesses,etc. I'd also want to see evidence regarding the dead guy. Police reports...prison time...drugs/alcohol use,etc.
Some women surely exaggerate things like this but,like I said,there are more than a few very,very,very nasty husbands/boyfriends out there.
You are absolutely correct. Nothing I wrote disputes anything you wrote.
OK...tell me this: are women expected to just “walk away” when the guy says “it’s over”?
What do you mean?
Maybe I've misunderstood your point.
You misread it.
When you don’t like the relationship you move on, and that should apply to women as well, you don’t stick around until you feel it is time to murder the other person by shooting them or tossing gasoline on them while they sleep, or kill them because you carried the game so far that the two of you are literally in a fight to the death and a coroner is required to haul away the loser.
FTFY
So is my wife. The thrill always overcomes the fear.
So, some women like ‘bad boys’. I know some like that.
My mom was a stay-at-home mom when we were little. Dad was verbally abusive but not physical (with her). He was with us. Still, when I got older, I asked her why she stayed. She said, “I have five kids”. Back then it wasn’t as common for women to work outside the home. Mom didn’t even learn to drive until she had to start taking us to school on days we couldn’t walk. Most didn’t have any skills except for raising kids. In a lot of ways, it was a better, more natural, way of life and better for the kids, as long as it wasn’t an abusive relationship. After we were grown, Mom did work outside the home. She eventually admitted to me that even though Dad never hit her, she was afraid of him. I decided early on that I wouldn’t live in that type of environment, but I can understand why women in the 50’s and 60’s did.
I was a hot-headed redhead
FTFY
So is my wife. The thrill always overcomes the fear.
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😁
Keen observation, Melinda
I’m a firm believer in the two-parent home and wish all women could stay home and raise the kids. Still, I struggle with why modern women choose to marry or stay with physically abusive men that beat them and/or their kids. Maybe they should take longer to get to know these men before marriage and avoid the whole situation. I know abusive women too. It’s not all on the men. Abusive people are not spouse material regardless of the time in history. Get to know the people you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Nobody gets killed that way. I knew my husband six years before we got married.
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