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A SLOW-TALKER AND A HOMELESS GUY WALK INTO A BAR ...
Ann Coulter.com ^ | April 27, 2016 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 04/27/2016 2:27:31 PM PDT by fortheDeclaration

A SLOW-TALKER AND A HOMELESS GUY WALK INTO A BAR ...

April 27, 2016

Apparently, John Kasich and Ted Cruz are at their most appealing when no one is paying attention to them, which, conveniently, is most of the time.

After Cruz won cranky Wisconsin last month -- only the fourth actual election he's won -- voters decided to give him a second look. But two seconds after people said, "OK, let's give this guy a try," he cratered. You might say a little of Ted Cruz goes a long way. Voters can't stand Cruz any more than his Senate colleagues can.

Listening to Cruz always makes me feel like I have Asperger's. He speaks so slowly, my mind wanders between words. As Trump said, there's a 10-second intermission between sentences. I want to order Cruz's speeches as Amazon Audibles, just so I can speed them up and see what he's saying

The guy did go to Harvard Law School, so I keep waiting for the flashes of brilliance, but they never come. Cruz is completely incapable of extemporaneous wit.

Now that Cruz has been mathematically eliminated, he's adding Carly Fiorina to the ticket. She's not his "running mate," but his "limping mate." It's an all-around lemon-eating contest.

Voters quickly moved on from Cruz and tried Kasich. But he turned out to be the spitting image of a homeless man. He's got the slouch, the facial tics, and a strange way of bouncing his head and looking around that makes you want to cross the street to avoid him. It looks like he cuts his own hair, and his suits are Ralph Nader cast-offs. He wolfs down food like a street person, has a hair-trigger temper, and rants about religion in a way that only he can understand.

Kasich is constantly proclaiming that illegals are "made in the image of God," and denounces the idea of enforcing federal immigration laws, saying: "I don't think it's right; I don't think it's humane."

When asked about his decision to expand Medicaid under Obamacare -- projected to cost federal taxpayers $50 billion in the first decade -- he said: "Now, when you die and get to the, get to the, uh, to the meeting with St. Peter ... he's going to ask you what you did for the poor. Better have a good answer."

He lectured a crowd of fiscal conservatives on his Obamacare expansion, saying, "Now, I don't know whether you ever read Matthew 25, but I commend it to you, the end of it, about do you feed the homeless and do you clothe the poor." He also attributed the law to Chief Justice John Roberts and said, "It's my money, OK?"

Voters thought they were getting a less attractive version of Mitt Romney with Kasich, but it turns out they're getting a more televangelist version of Ted Cruz.

They're also getting a less warm and personable version of Hillary Clinton. Last week, Kasich lashed out at a reporter who asked a perfectly appropriate question, going from boring campaign boilerplate to irritated browbeating in about one second flat. As much as I enjoy watching reporters being berated, this was deranged.

Kasich: Listen, at the end of the day I think the Republican Party wants to pick somebody who actually can win in the fall."

Reporter: But if you've only won Ohio?

Kasich: "Can I finish?"

Reporter: "If you answer the ques--"

Kasich: "I'm answering the question the way I want to answer it. You want to answer it?" (Snatches voice recorder from reporter's hand.) "Here, let me ask you. What do you think?

When giving a speech to Ohio EPA workers a few years ago, Kasich suddenly went off topic and began shouting about a police officer who had given him a ticket three years earlier. "Have you ever been stopped by a police officer that's an idiot?" he began. He proceeded to tell the riveting story of his traffic violation to the EPA administrators, yelling about "this idiot! ... He's an IDIOT!"

Based on the dashcam video immediately released by the police, Kasich had been in the wrong, and the officer -- you know, "the IDIOT" -- was perfectly polite about it.

With Trump it's exactly the opposite. The more people see of him, the more they like him. The usual pattern is: Trump says something perfectly sensible, the media lie about it, then voters find out the truth and like him more and the media less.

Ironically, it's Kasich who has been complaining the loudest about the alleged billions of dollars of "free media" Trump has been getting. It turns out not getting "free media" was a godsend for Kasich and Cruz.

COPYRIGHT 2016 ANN COULTER


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: coulter; cruz; effeminacy; fascism; greed; kasich; manliness; trump
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1 posted on 04/27/2016 2:27:31 PM PDT by fortheDeclaration
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To: fortheDeclaration

2 posted on 04/27/2016 2:30:53 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (FReeeeepeesssssed)
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To: fortheDeclaration

Yeah and now he’s selected Carly as a running mate. You know Carly, the one that talks down to everyone like she’s some kind of national 3rd grade teacher and we’re all little kids.

No thanks.


3 posted on 04/27/2016 2:36:50 PM PDT by Bullish (Face it, insanity is just not presidential.)
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To: Bullish

Hooking up with Carly is about as beneficial as hooking up with Glenn Beck. I uses to think Cruz was a smart but unpopular guy. Starting to wonder about the smart part.


4 posted on 04/27/2016 2:38:47 PM PDT by nascarnation
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To: fortheDeclaration

That was the funniest thing I read in quite a while.


5 posted on 04/27/2016 2:41:10 PM PDT by be-baw (still seeking)
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To: be-baw

It was pretty good, funnier than the stuff she’s been doing recently. Not sure how she can mention Kasich (gun grabbing RINO) without saying gun grabbing RINO, but I can’t.


6 posted on 04/27/2016 2:44:51 PM PDT by thorvaldr
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To: be-baw

Hopefully Trump does not choose Ben Carson as VP.
That guy makes watching paint drying or grass growing a speed sport.
Dull dull dull.


7 posted on 04/27/2016 2:46:31 PM PDT by minnesota_bound
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To: fortheDeclaration
"Now, when you die and get to the, get to the, uh, to the meeting with St. Peter ... he's going to ask you what you did for the poor. Better have a good answer."

"I took money from some people at gunpoint and gave it to other people" is not going to be a good answer.

8 posted on 04/27/2016 2:47:43 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: nascarnation
Hooking up with Carly is about as beneficial as hooking up with Glenn Beck. I uses to think Cruz was a smart but unpopular guy. Starting to wonder about the smart part.

That's got to win the comment of the day.

9 posted on 04/27/2016 2:54:28 PM PDT by joesbucks
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To: fortheDeclaration

Look! Freepers like Coulter again!


10 posted on 04/27/2016 2:54:52 PM PDT by subterfuge (TED CRUZ FOR POTUS!)
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To: subterfuge

Yes, she is back on track!


11 posted on 04/27/2016 2:55:46 PM PDT by fortheDeclaration (Pr 14:34 Righteousness exalteth a nation:but sin is a reproach to any people)
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To: fortheDeclaration
Dear Ann:

As a once and former enthusiastic reader of your columns, and a buyer of your books, I must inform you that I am no longer an admirer of your opinions

You nearly lost me with your odd support for Chris Christie (his anti-2A stance alone should have warned you what a deceptive creep is he.)

Now, you have completely wandered off the planet with your support for lifelong Dem, pro-Planned Parenthood, socialized medicine aficionado, with a wince-causing inability to articulate beyond "very, very, very", rude and insulting, unpresidential, unschooled in matters of geopolitics, dissolute (just look at him), and who may or not have a shady past (One does not know, but one can wager that the Dems do).

On the bright side my Kindle now has more memory space, and my bookshelves have more room (for authors for whom I have respect).

Toodles.

12 posted on 04/27/2016 2:58:18 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except for convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: nascarnation
Starting to wonder about the smart part.

That reminds me...Levin's show is about to start.

13 posted on 04/27/2016 3:01:12 PM PDT by kanawa (Being an insider in a fight with other insiders does not make you an outsider.)
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To: subterfuge

Not me.

She is still a wench


14 posted on 04/27/2016 3:03:05 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway - "Enjoy Yourself" ala Louis Prima)
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To: subterfuge

Well of course! She’s “back” on the plantation now.


15 posted on 04/27/2016 3:05:20 PM PDT by SZonian (Throwing our allegiances to political parties in the long run gave away our liberty.)
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To: Bullish
Yeah and now he’s selected Carly as a running mate. You know Carly, the one that talks down to everyone like she’s some kind of national 3rd grade teacher and we’re all little kids.

I was watching Carly's speech today. She goes into a big thing about how she started as a secretary, doing typing and filing, and worked her way up to CEO.

She neglects to mention that the secretary job was a summer job while she was going to Stanford. After graduating, AT&T snapped her up to be a management trainee.

I'm sure that her advancement at AT&T had nothing to do with the fact that her dad was a federal judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals at the time.

16 posted on 04/27/2016 3:17:48 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: Seaplaner
Gee, I bet you ruined Ann Coulter's day.

If I remember correctly Reagan was a life long Democrat.

But I do admit that you have the ability to blather on like your losing candidate Cruz.

17 posted on 04/27/2016 3:18:15 PM PDT by fortheDeclaration (Pr 14:34 Righteousness exalteth a nation:but sin is a reproach to any people)
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To: fortheDeclaration

“The guy did go to Harvard Law School, “

Obama did too...


18 posted on 04/27/2016 3:19:33 PM PDT by Innovative ("Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." -- Vince Lombardi)
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To: fortheDeclaration

I usually think of slow talkers as those who have brain damage from smoking too much pot. They often are also part of the homeless crowd.


19 posted on 04/27/2016 3:25:40 PM PDT by kaehurowing
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To: fortheDeclaration

My money is on the homeless guy dropping out after he loses in Indiana and spends the rest of the nomination run in the local IHOP.


20 posted on 04/27/2016 3:46:54 PM PDT by chuckee
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